Cleaning the skeletons from his closet

[Kagome]

I'm 19, my boyfriend of 6 months is 22. I'm fairly new to the whole sex thing, only having had actual intercourse with one guy previous (it was very, very painful) and oral sex with two guys previous to him. I'm bisexual but I've only made out with other girls.
Just recently I've learned how to enjoy my body. Sex is no longer agony, and I finally have a guy who will reciprocate when it comes to oral sex. I've been emotionally abused, lied to, and toyed around with, and this is my first good relationship.
This is all well and good, but my 22 year old guy has had no less than 30 sexual partners before me. He's been in threesomes (which were negative) but has had many, many positive experiences. He's been in love before and had his heart kicked around but he's grown from it. I never had a good experience before.
We've been friends for a while and dating for six months. We've talked about getting married once I graduated.. but I'm jealous of his experience. He's had the chance to go out and "sew the wild oats" so to speak. I don't want to lose him, but I wonder if I'm missing a lot.
I also think he compares me to his exes, which is kind of unfair because I have nobody to compare him to.
Any advice would be appreciated.

[Tessie]

I wouldn't say you are missing out on sleeping with alot of guys. If this man that you love is good in bed and has the potential to get even better then stick with that.

I had lots of sexual partners in my past and I can say with all honesty that it didn't benefit me at all. I actually regret my past very much.

Being in love with a partner who wants your pleasure as much as he wants his own is a wonderful thing.

You have to comes to terms with his past sexual expierences and move on. Allow what it has taught him to benefit you. If it bothers you to hear about it then tell him to keep his mouth shut about what he has done.

As to his comparing you to others. Has he said he does that? Or are you just thinking he does? Just remember that communication is the key to a happy relationship both in and out of bed.

[oberon]

Tessie is going to give all my responses from now on...lol. *

Kagome, all a large sexual past means is that you have a large sexual past. *It usually doesn't help/hinder a current relationship unless you let it. *He could have been the greatest lover in the world to each of the thirty or so people before you, and still not satisfy you. *The fact that you say he does just means he's willing to learn YOUR body and what YOU like. *All women- like all men- are different. *So each new relationship is a "first time".

You say you've been "emotionally abused, lied to, and toyed around with". *Why would you want to take a chance on finding more of that when you've finally found something good? *Old cliches are old cliches because they are usually very true. *So remember, "A bird in the hand is (definitely) worth two (or thirty) in the bush."

[WallyLlama]

What I'm hearing:

You really don't feel ready for a serious relationship, even though there's nothing wrong with it or him (like many of your past relationships) and there is no apparent reason not to proceed.

The fact that you're not ready is the reason not to proceed.

You're not obligated to jump at the first good thing that comes along... no, the simple act of having more partners and experiences is not going to make you a better person. But getting serious with someone before you're ready isn't the mark of a good person, either. You've already indicated that you're jealous of his experiences - jealousy is one of the most destructive emotions in a relationship.

I'm concerned that you seem to have a score card going. That's not the mark of a mature relationship - and that's also not a criticism of you. You don't want to lose him, but you fear you're missing out on a lot... well, the simple truth is life is about risks and rewards and consequences.

You do risk losing him if you sow those oats.
But you also risk the reward of finding someone even "better."

You might even find a guy with less experience than you - even if you don't get much more!

To some extent, this is about separating the issues. If you're not ready to tie yourself down, don't. That doesn't mean you have to go out and find 30 people to have sex with so you'll be ready.

Give it some time and I think you'll find things coming together.

Wally