Looking like crap the morning after sex

[ThePurplePeopleEaters]

Okay, I'm going to come out of the closet. I have acne. It's nothing too serious, but I have to wear a little makeup every day to hide it. I have a little on my back and shoulders, too, which I hide when I go to clubs and have sex. I was with a guy last night and he is BEAUTIFUL, by the way,and he saw me without my makeup on. It was devastating. At one point while we were lying beside each other he said, "Your face.." which I thought was a compliment at the time, but now I think it was complete shock. Has this happened to any of you, ladies, or gentlemen, when you wake up with a stranger or your partner and you are embarassed about the way you look?

[thetease13]

not happened to me.
I have acne everywhere. My face has gotten better over the years but my back and chest can be horrible at times.
The only thing i wear is like a coverup makeup because I have a few scars on my face I'd not like to be seen.

However, I think your partner should be able to accept what you look like with and without makeup. Perhaps he did mean it as a compliment and thought you looked beautiful that way too. Don't over analyze things he says. It really won't get you anywhere and just make you second guess everything.

And to me, and this is just me, when you wake up and think you look like crap or am embarassed about how you look, I don't know, to me that says, in some way you maybe weren't ready for that person to see you like that and maybe perhaps you made a mistake?
I'm not saying you did make a mistake, it's just how I think.
Maybe you just weren't ready if you're going to analyze how you looked afterwards. Like I said, your partner should be able to accept you either way, and if you're gonna freak out afterwards about how you looked, I think there's a bit more to it than just having him/she/it/whatever see you without makeup.

Just a thought.

[ThePurplePeopleEaters]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (thetease13 @ May 08 2004,17:11)]And to me, and this is just me, when you wake up and think you look like crap or am embarassed about how you look, I don't know, to me that says, in some way you maybe weren't ready for that person to see you like that and maybe perhaps you made a mistake?
I'm not saying you did make a mistake, it's just how I think.
Maybe you just weren't ready if you're going to analyze how you looked afterwards. *Like I said, your partner should be able to accept you either way, and if you're gonna freak out afterwards about how you looked, I think there's a bit more to it than just having him/she/it/whatever see you without makeup.

Just a thought.

Once again, thank you for responding!

Good point. I don't feel like a made a mistake, because the sex was wonderful and he's really sweet and considerate, but it very embarassing for him to see me like that and it makes me feel insecure. I suppose if we were more intimate then shallow things like little bits of acne wouldn't bother him, plus he's got a little too. *Nobody's perfect.

Speaking of which, did you know that Cameron Diaz, Madonna and Vanessa Williams have acne?

[thetease13]

You call it a shallow thing, but to me I see that it bothers you to some sort. And you don't in fact even know if it's bothering him. You're jumping to a conclusion.
Not the wisest thing to do either.

You said in your other post there was some alcohol involved. Now, I ain't judging you but I really don't think alcohol and sex should mix. It impairs your judgment no matter how little you drink and even if you didn't even get drunk or tipsy. So maybe that's why you're finding all these little nit picky things and over analyzing things?
Like I said, I'm not judging you, I'm just a bit of a free thinker, and whatever comes to mind, I say, and well, that's what came to mind.

[ThePurplePeopleEaters]

No I totally understand what you mean. He was sarky drunk and I was a little buzzed as well, so perhaps that, plus the fact that we'd never had sex together, and then pile on the fact that I am (or was) a virgin is a recipe for disaster for even the best of people.

[oberon]

Well, in my opinion, most people look like bloody hell first thing in the morning ( whether sex was involved or not)...lol. *You shouldn't worry so much. *I think that a lot of people just suffer from a lack of self-esteem- I definitely have my moments. *Everyone has things they don't like about themselves. *But I have news for you- YOU notice it more than anyone else. *Most other people are too busy being worried about the things they don't like about themselves.

As far as acne is concerned, have you tried any of the product that are suppose to help get rid of it? *I've heard that ProActive is said to really work- but I've never tried it personally. *If this is something that bothers you, do something about it for yourself. *If you are doing for someone else, don't worry about it.

[Rawbob]

Yea.....those beer-goggles have a funny way of disappearing first thing in the morning! hahahaha

However, that's what you get when you have casual sex. If he/she stays the nite (which is usually because either he/she is too drunk to drive, or he/she psses out, or he/she WANTS to stay the nite.

Waking up next to someone is a great thing if you let it be a great thing.

Trust me, NO ONE ..i repeat NO ONE looks as good in the morning as they did the night before. I dont' subscribe to all the images you see on TV where folks wake up with near perfect hair, they don't have "morning breath" they dono't have all those lines on their face from the pillow imprint, or the bags under their eyes from the previous night's binge! ahahah.

So, i say, f*** it....this is who i am, this is waht i look like - good bad or indifferent. To me, its got to be a balance. When i was single and had an "overnight guest".....i usually got up, (naked of course)..went to the kitchen to make some coffee, let the dog out, etc. I would usually do a quick brush of the teeth, and splash some water on my face..but thats it.

THen i'd crawl back in bed, and see how things went (Remember, i LOVE MORNING SEX).

Just my ranting again! Trust me, wether its acne or bad breath, bad hair (which i suffer from in the morning) or whatever...everyone has their own issues.

If it was a one-time fling, just chalk it up to good sex (hopefully) and move on. If he/she looks at you in the morning and has a look on their face like (Holy shit, i came home with her/him!).....then just look at 'em and say "You might want to use some mouthwash, you really could use it"....ahahhaa....they'll get the message that NO ONE is perfect - especially in the AM!

[LittleFury]

I don't tend to freak out too much over how I look if I don't dress up or wear make up. I get acne from time to time, and I still got a scar (it's not that visible thought) on my cheek from then a snowball with ice was thrown in my face. I have long hair that tangles too easily and my boobs are tiny. And believe me, I sometimes would scare my own cat in the morning.BUt with my bf, I don't freak then he sees me like that in the morning. He still says I'm beautiful and he loves me even more. And he just pulls me closer into his arms. And you know, it actually makes me happy, cause he loves me for me, thye real me, and not for my looks.
It does take a lot of self confidence, I know. BUt it something that you can get if you either work on or stop caring. I guess, this can also come from being in the long term relationship. This also I guess comes from the way I am now. After a while, I just said, either people like me for how I really am, or I don't want them in my life. And those who can't accept me for who I am and how i really look...are just not worth it.
I really can't give you advice about casual thing though, sorry. Don't have experience in it, and just not something I was ever able to do. BUt good luck, and just find yourself and have confidence in yourself.

[JCrew05]

proactive works great...when i was 15 i had acne on my face and got the stuff and within 2 months everything was gone now im 17 and no one can notice i ever had acne...you should really try it

-word

[lilly2279]

yes, everyone is usually a little worse for wear in the morning. I, personally, thinks most guys look even cuter, though, with a little bed head and that sleepy look on their face. I find it just adorable. I may slip out of bed in the morning and use the potty, freshen up a bit, brush my teeth and (barely) run a comb through my hair quick. I don't want it to look like I did anything, tho. ha ha. Sex hair can give you bad tangles. Then I slide right back in and curl up next to him. I've never taken a drunk guy home from a bar before,tho. I would be way to afraid to do that. I want to make sure someone likes me at least before we have sex. lol. But anyway, in the morning I don't run and put on my clothes or anything. I lie naked in bed too. I think if you have self confidence and believe he did mean to sleep with you, you'll put him more at ease as well. I know guys don't like it when women act like they are all self conscious about their bodies, etc. We are all made differently, small boobs, large ones, big tushes, little ones, scars, moles, dimples, etc. But everyone's body is beautiful in it's own way. I dated a guy with THE cutest dimple on his one buttcheek. you can play little finding games on each other bodies.. Every spend time searching for beauty marks? that's pretty fun! he he.