questions for the ladies??

[gretzky99]

Girls, could you please help a nice guy figure out what these things girls say/do to me really mean? I get them quite alot and am totally confused.


1. I meet a girl, have a nice conversation, and then get her number - but when I call she never answers and never returns a message if I leave one. Why would a girl give her number out if she apparently had no interest in me?

2. What does it mean when a girl says, "You're the kind of guy a girl dreams of marrying, but not the kind of guy a girl wants to date or have as a boyfriend." I am not quite ready to get married, but I thought you were supposed to date first before deciding if you want to marry the person?

3. I ask a girl out to do something like dinner, dancing, a concert, a sporting event, etc. and then a get a call like a few hours before and she says that she can't cause her girlfriend wants to do something (or something like that). If I confront her and say something like, "I understand things come up, but I thought we had a date..." or "That's too bad, I was really looking forward to our date..." she chimes back with "Oh, I didn't know it WAS a date... I thought you were just being nice and had an extra ticket or just wanted to do something with a friend. I probably wouldn't have said yes in the first place if I thought it was a date."

4. "You're going to make some girl really happy some day! I wish the guys I dated could be more like you." This usually occurs after I have asked the girl out once or twice before.


Any help you girls could give me would be appreciated. Sometimes I feel like we're all speaking different languages.

[CoLdWoLf]

I'm a guy labled 'nice' guy back in the day too...bascially the '
nice' guy is just another word for, and screams out in big words, "YOU ACT TO MUCH LIKE A BROTHER OR FRIEND" the best way to overcome this...become agressive, move in for the kill, take the first leap of faith and kiss the girl..if you want the awnser to all those questions here they are.

I actually have a girlfriend that has a lot of guy friends and i acutallly SEE her do this.

1) sometimes a girl likes to be nice, or shows there friends o wow look at how many numbers i got or look how many times so and so called, its the girls ego boost, just like if a guy would be like i got with so and so last night (no offense to girls or guys haha) but we both know im right.

2) It means STOP ACTING FREIDNLY, act less romantic if you are, or too sweet, come off as a mystery guy or not so open and they will want to know you more I.E. DATE!

3) Well girls are very indecive creatures (i have this problem too with my girlfriend dont feel bad) Indecsive people suck, it also sounds like this is more of a paticular person then just girls in general, if it is let me know or let us know so we can help you, because I've been there done that and im with right now with 'this' type of girl.

4)When they say that, thats a nice way of a girl rejecting you from asking them out, i hate to be harsh but thats the dead honest truth, the only way to overcome that bullshit is to be more of a mystery and not be so open (FRIENDS ARE OPEN IN THE BEGGINING)! trust me! unless you find a real conservitive girl, you wont get anywhere being SWEET! :-/

i will contiune to help you just let me know more info if this is a person or jus general

[thetease13]

lets see. i'm a girl. i'll take a shot at this (and fail miserably at it because I am not your typical girl).

1. Because some girls are dumb. (what? they are. lol.). I have phone issues. Unless I know you fairly well I'm not returning a call or talking to you on the phone. I'm strange. Don't ask. But there are lots of people out there like me...mostly girls. We can talk hours on hours to our friends (ironically, my friend is male. lol) but when it comes to talking to someone we don't know, we chicken and freak out.

2. I honestly have no idea. Seems to me that if you think someone is marrying material, they should be dating/boyfriend material.

3. Girls like to know if they're on a date. You have to tell us that we're on a date or we will think otherwise.
Example: my obsessive stalker boy. I knew he liked me...but not to the extent he did. I had known him for sometime and we had been classmates for almost a year. He called me up one day and asked if I wanted to go to the movies. I figured yea, why not. It'd get me out of this house. After the movie I of course realized that he thought this was a date when I didn't. I did everything I could think of without actually saying "leave me alone" (because hey, he was a nice guy and I didn't want to hurt his feelings.) to make him stop thinking it was a date. It failed...badly. After our "date" was over, he got back home and emailed me and I told him that I wasn't interested in him in that way...and wow, what the wrong thing to say. I was then stalked and obsessed over by him for months on end.
Ok, back on topic. We like to know if it's a date because for the most part, we like to be friends first. We don't like "dates" usually right off. We like hanging out with friends and if something develops, it develops.
Or perhaps this is just me. lol.

4. She likes you, but she don't like you in that way. She thinks you're sweet, and hey, that's a good thing, but you just ain't her type. (wow, such bad grammar I have.) She's looking for someone with some of your qualities, just well, not you. (harsh, but true.)
And she's giving you hope that there's someone out there, somewhere (which is true) that will like all your qualities and you and will fall for you just the way you are.


---

did that help any?
Like I said, I'm not your typical girl. Sometimes I think I act and think more like a male than I do a female, which can be good or bad depending on how you look at it. I also seem to be able to understand guys on more levels than girls. Makes me wonder if I was supposed to be male sometimes. lol.
Granted, everyone pretty much thought I was going to be a boy since girls are rare on both sides of my parents families. But I popped out a girl. oops? lol.

[LittleFury]

I say you just had a damn bad luck with girls. Maybe meting a girl in the bar or a club is ideal to you. Try to figure out other places you could meet one. Something maybe there both of you doing the same hobby you like, class, anything there you would meet a girl with interests like yours. And don't give up hope. I might write a bit more later, then I wake up a bit mroe.

[gretzky99]

Thanks to you all for trying to answer my questions. My questions were of the general type, not specific to any one girl. They're all things I've heard from more than at least 3 girls in my life. I know my questions may seem kinda dumb, but for a 25yr. old who has never had a girlfriend and much less never been on a date with a girl more than twice, I definitely need all the help I can get. Heck, I didn't even have my first kiss till this past year.

For those that said I have bad luck, that is an understatement. I know you're probably thinking I'm some nerdy, goofy looking guy that just stays at home all the time attached to the computer 24/7, but that is the furthest from the truth. I like to go out and be around people. I'm athletic and play about 6 different sports - I even played football at a major division I university. I volunteer at my church, I have a graduate degree, and a job I love.

In my younger days I was really shy and self-conscious, but I've gotten past that. When you've gone through as much rejection as I have, you become desensitized to it all and just want to keep trying more. To answer one of yall's points, I don't try to meet girls in bars - I swore off that years ago. I don't really even drink but a few times a month, so I don't really even hang out at bars except when I want to go dancing (which is one thing I enjoy doing and am actually pretty good). I have no problem going up to girls, striking up a conversation, and even getting a phone number. I'm able to meet girls, just can't get in contact with them after the first meeting (they never answer the phone and don't call back).

Apparently from what I understand, I need to act more like a jerk around girls and pretend that I'm someone I'm not. And that is going to be hard because I've really only known to be honest and treat people with respect. And every time I see a guy I know act like a total a$$hole around his girlfriend to the point where he's making her cry, that just makes me realize even more I'm doing the right thing even though I've never seen results. I'm pretty sure girls can sense all of my shortcomings with me even knowing and that's why I can't even get a chance. No one will still ever be able to convince me that there isn't a girl somewhere that wants to meet a guy like me who's fun to be with, has an big open heart, and treats her with respect. I just have so much inside that is wanting to bust aout and share with someone.

If you're still reading, then thank you for listening to me. I kinda need to rant and let it all out in the open instead of keeping my feelings inside me. I really don't have anyone I'd feel comfortable talking to about this, so I guess I'll broadcast it to the whole internet. lol. But really, reading through the forums, everyone seems like nice people who are willing to listen and help out where they can. Thanks again and God bless.

[CoLdWoLf]

bro i never said act like an asshole, but have more confidence in yourself, don't open up as much get to know them more and stop being as friendly as you are, get her first then show her how comfortable she can be with you ect. you know what i mean? good luck man

[duckie]

As for me I'd rather be with guys like you when I was dating. I think maybe it's just the girls that you are asking out are looking for something different. Maybe it's where your meeting these girls? Just a thought. Maybe it'd be better going on more group things if you wanna try that approach to get to know a certain girl. Even having a few friends over mixed group of friends that is and see how that works. It always seems like when you least looking for something is when it happens being more a little more carefree.
Good Luck!

[JCrew05]

well the reason may be when im, and other guys, are drunk at a party and get numbers from girls were not thinking straight...i mean on time i woke up the morning after a party and had 2 girls in my bedroom sleeping next to me...now i dont remember anything and didnt know what was going on...point is i was drunk off my ass and girls get drunk off their ass also...meaning maybe she didnt mean to or even remember giving you her number...assuming you met at a party or club

-word

[cptcrunch]

Not female but I had enough experience with this to be of some service.

1. *I meet a girl, have a nice conversation, and then get her number - but when I call she never answers and never returns a message if I leave one. *Why would a girl give her number out if she apparently had no interest in me?

Rare is the female that will straight up tell you she is not interested in you and therefore will not pass her number. They like to do the "Caller ID" let down to soften the blow of rejection. So just play along and KNOW that 99% of the time, she is not going to pick up or you get the machine. When that happens, just the toss the number and move on.

2. *What does it mean when a girl says, "You're the kind of guy a girl dreams of marrying, but not the kind of guy a girl wants to date or have as a boyfriend." *I am not quite ready to get married, but I thought you were supposed to date first before deciding if you want to marry the person?

That translates to "I am not interest in you at all but it looks like you have a secure financial future so I am going to keep you in my 6th position in the depth chart and after 10 years of "having fun" and "exploring my life", you might be in the running for me to "settle down" with."
When a woman says this to you, KNOW that you have zero chance with her and move on. *

3. *I ask a girl out to do something like dinner, dancing, a concert, a sporting event, etc. *and then a get a call like a few hours before and she says that she can't cause her girlfriend wants to do something (or something like that). *If I confront her and say something like, "I understand things come up, but I thought we had a date..." or "That's too bad, I was really looking forward to our date..." she chimes back with "Oh, I didn't know it WAS a date... I thought you were just being nice and had an extra ticket or just wanted to do something with a friend. *I probably wouldn't have said yes in the first place if I thought it was a date."

Always remember, "If she likes you, she will make the time for you." No excuses and no last minute hangups.
Don't say anything next time if that happens. I see that you tried to argue the point and she stuck it to you. Just hang up, rip up her number and never talk to her again as she doesn't even meet the minimum requirements of a friend.

4. *"You're going to make some girl really happy some day! *I wish the guys I dated could be more like you." *This usually occurs after I have asked the girl out once or twice before.

KNOW that you are a flaming wreck on the side of the road. The best thing you can do is say, "You know what? You are completely correct and I am going to find that girl ... and best of luck finding that guy." Get up, leave and never look back.