My bf thinks sex is...

[sweetiez]

Okay well me and my boyfriend havent been together that long like 2 weeks or so!.So not very long..and the whole sex isssue has came Up many times.I know he wants to have sex with me.I do in a way. buti think its to soon in our relationship yet!.Im still a virgin.and im 18 years old.His not a virgin (DUH LOL) And his 19 years old.And he thinks sex makes a relationship stronger..but i dont think it would at least not yet. b.c we just started our relationship.Im scared he would use me for sex and dump me.But i talk 2 his friend all the time and says thats not the case.And thats not hem at all.I know he cares for me.And i care for hem. Do u guys think it would make a relationship stronger? i have talked 2 my mother..and im evenually gunna take the pill and all.My mom told me she wanted 2 get 2 know hem and i told hem taht and he thinks its a good idea.. what do u all think of all i said??

[demonbuttercup]

i definetly think you should wait awhile.
i mean 2 weeks is soon to be jumping into sex. there are other ways to pleasure eachother and bond. sex isn't what makes a relationship.especially so early in yours. you both have so much to learn and experience w/ eachother.
now, top on that the fact that you are still a virgin i definetly would wait.
i mean i don't know what your thoughts are about your virginity. but for most girls, they like to save it for someone special. they don't necessarily HAVE to be in love but they do want someone they care about and cares about them. i just don't think 2 weeks is enough to have established that. plus, if he cares about you he wouldn't put the pressure on you. since you are a virgin he should be more understanding.

i hate to say it, but to me it sounds like he is just feeding you a line. sex isn't the magical thing that makes a relationship stronger, after 2 weeks. maybe he's just wants to take your virginity...i dunno.
but definetly listen to your mom and tell him you want to take things slow. if he doesn't understand than he's not the guy for you. there are plenty of others out there.
good luck.

sex can make a relationship stronger when the love is already there. when you love someone very deeply and finally get to share and enjoy the intimacy, it does create a special bond between you two.
but after 2 weeks i think it would be more about the pleasure than the intimacy.

[amandas_boyfriend]

i think you should wait to.. just because he wants to have sex doesnt mean that your ready for it. it can make the relationship stronger but it can also make it worse which it seems to do more often. also alot of girls regret there first time *not saying that all do*.. just wait and give it some time.. when your ready youll know.

[oberon]

The fact that you are so unsure, SCREAMS wait. *Demonbuttercup is correct- sex is not a magical superglue for relationships. *If he thinks sex is the be all, end all of a relationship, he is very wrong. *Sex should be about love. *And if he does love you then he should wait until you are ready. *If he doesn't and he's pressuring you for sex, then you are right in wondering if he's going to "use you and dump you".

Wait a while, get on birth control. See if he's willing to stick around. *Then start talking about having sex. *But only you will know when the time is right for YOU.

P.S. *Even after you're on birth control, he should be using a condom. *BC isn't 100%, and it doesn't protect against STDs.

Stay strong, and take care.

[thetease13]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (oberon @ April 23 2004,19:32)]The fact that you are so unsure, SCREAMS wait.

ditto.

and ditto on the BC thing too.
two people i know recently found out they were pregnant..and both were on the pill.
oops? lol.

[WallyLlama]

Voting "No" is easy. *

To answer your question, I'm convinced that sex does not make a relationship stronger. Because it brings people "closer" together it can give the (false) illusion that the relationship is strong.

A strong relationship is difficult to describe in a couple of sentences, but it includes sharing values and respecting each other's individuality. To a large degree a strong relationship is a major contributor to great sex.

There's that other myth that having children together makes a relationship stronger. You make a relationship stronger by working at the relationship: how you treat each other, how you talk to each other.

Oh, and don't be naive. His friend's testimonial is not proof positive. Guys tend to help each other get laid.

I think you are very right to be worried about his motives.

[sweetiez]

Thank you all fo all ur help!! it helps alot!=)/ Thank you SOOOOOO much!.We had another talk about it.. and we are not gunna do that for awhile. thank you soo much!=)If anyone else has any more advice do say=)

[mspersia82]

2 weeks is way too soon! Please wait. *I was your age when I first had sex and it was terrible. *You should wait until you really know the guy and trust him completely. *I don't believe that you can be in love after 2 weeks. *You may be in "lust" but not in love. *I'm not saying your guy is the same way but I had a guy use me and I knew him for years. *It takes a lot of time to really know someone.

[LittleFury]

It's better wait then later regret it. Especially the first time for the girl.

[Tilston]

the best advice i would give you is if you have any doughts dont do it. any at all. u can only loose ur virginity once!