she is TO christian

[amandas_boyfriend]

so recently ive been going out with the girl of my dreams.. i love her more than anyone in the world .. her personality is awesome and she is beautiful and i have no urges to make love to another girl. she really loves me to and we just recently had sex for the first time for both of us*.. but now she feels really bad and she says that its something that she wouldnt normally do and she feels like she let god down.. shes a very strong christian.. and i tell her i love her but she doesnt like it when i say that because she doesnt think i could love her so fast.. i know in my heart shes the one i want to marry.. but she says that she wants me to love god more than i love her and she says that she will always put god before me.. i understand that but i cant lie to her and tell her that i love god more bcuz in my heart yes im a christian but i truly feel more love for her.. she hates that and she says that she doesnt wanna marry someone with those beliefs.. so i dont know if i should change my beliefs or what because i would do anything for this girl. - help ? lol

[thetease13]

well, me personally, and this is just me personally, i would not change my beliefs for someone.

i am who i am and that's what makes me me.

and if they love me they should be able to accept me for me.

but like i said..that's just me personally.
only you can truly decide if you want to change for her or not.

[leemeister]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]we just recently had sex for the first time for both of us

I am surprised that you guys have already had sex if she is so christian as you say she is. Many really religious christians won't have sex until they are married. Are you planning on marrying her now that you have had sex? It doesn't seem so in your post since you are questioning the whole thing. I myself am a christian and think that if you want the relationship to work, you should pray about it and work at it with her. Let her help you grow in your faith. Show her that you care about God more than her, and once that happens, she will fall more in love with you.

Hope this helps some

~leemeister

[LittleFury]

Never ever change your believes just cause of the girl or a boy. LAter on, you might regret it. You might feel that you're lying to yourself and it could potentially destroy the relationship. If you do somehting like that, do it for yourself. And only for yourself. Trust me, I dated a very Jewish guy, at the time then I was still jewish, and he tried to drag me to the temple. I hated it, and I hated him for that. If I changed just for him, I would be miserable my entire life. Choices like that you need to make for yourself and yourself only, not because of someone.

[WallyLlama]

Putting the sex aside...

Relationships are (or should be) about sharing and sharing fundamental values are key to the relationship.

Most couples don't hit it on everything... it works when there's enough there (in common) to make the relationship worth working at.

This is an admittedly practical and non-romantic description. But if you and this girl share enough in common, you may find a way to accomodate and work around the things you don't.

If you continue to be honest with each other, that puts you way ahead of most couples! And that's something in common, the value of honesty!

You can't totally ignore differences, but you can focus on what you have in common and not what you don't!

Stay out of the sack and keep talking and exploring.

[sweetiez]

Never change for someone.. your just trying to show her how much u love her.. just tell her " i love u as much as i love god" lol Ahh religion stuff..lol

[amandas_boyfriend]

the thing is with the whole sex thing.. she felt very strongly about waiting till marriage for sex.. i guess she really likes me, and i feel bad that i did it because she feels bad about it.. she has like split personalitys lol, 1 is really fun, outgoing, happy and loving, the other is more religious and not as fun.. its like she trys to cover who she really is with this whole religious thing.. but we really do love eachother and she says she doesnt want me to change for her but for myself.. btw we have alot in common its just this whole christianity thing thats gettin us. i hope that we can work it out because yes i do want to marry her and i wanted to marry her before we had sex to. thnx for the replys everyone

[demonbuttercup]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (leemeister @ April 22 2004,21:11)]I myself am a christian and think that if you want the relationship to work, you should pray about it and work at it with her. *

im w/ leemeister
if she was so christian she wouldn't have had sex, but like you said she now feels guilty about it.
at least leemeister now sees that for him you also have to work w/ her and not just pray that it will work out.

i guess i consider myself a christian i grew up that way and i believe in God. but ive never really sat down and compared him to my family and to say i love him more than i love you (other people in my family or life)
isn't the love different?
i mean you wouldn't love God like you love a b/f or g/f or mother or father.
can't you just love them all and it be ok?
i don't think she should be so closeminded to your feelings.
i mean what should it matter who loves who more as long as everyone is loved.
i dunno, ive never been the type to let religion rule my life. i have faith in things, and i try to live my life as a good person. thats all i can do, and im happy w/ myself. yeah i make mistakes but who doesn't.
i dunno if that helps you any but like the others said don't let her make you into someone you are not. you said you can't honestly say you love God more than her and you don't want to lie, then don't lie. just tell her how you feel and hopefully she will see that it doesn't make that much difference. as long as she loves God and you love her and eventually she'll love you too.. it should all work out.

[amandas_boyfriend]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (demonbuttercup @ April 23 2004,12:15)]

im w/ leemeister
if she was so christian she wouldn't have had sex, but like you said she now feels guilty about it.
at least leemeister now sees that for him you also have to work w/ her and not just pray that it will work out.

i guess i consider myself a christian i grew up that way and i believe in God. but ive never really sat down and compared him to my family and to say i love him more than i love you (other people in my family or life)
isn't the love different?
i mean you wouldn't love God like you love a b/f or g/f or mother or father.
can't you just love them all and it be ok?
i don't think she should be so closeminded to your feelings.
i mean what should it matter who loves who more as long as everyone is loved.
i dunno, ive never been the type to let religion rule my life. i have faith in things, and i try to live my life as a good person. thats all i can do, and im happy w/ myself. yeah i make mistakes but who doesn't.
i dunno if that helps you any but like the others said don't let her make you into someone you are not. you said you can't honestly say you love God more than her and you don't want to lie, then don't lie. just tell her how you feel and hopefully she will see that it doesn't make that much difference. as long as she loves God and you love her and eventually she'll love you too.. it should all work out.

i totaly agree with you on the whole cant we all just love eachother.. yes the love for god and the love for her are different and i wish shed understand that.. thats a good topic that i can bring up later when were talking about it.. o and btw u said if she was a christian she wouldnt have had sex............. so ur saying shes not? doesnt everyone make mistakes? this is why i never got hardcore involved in religion because there were always ppl saying things like this.. they hide behind there religion so they feel like there better than everyone else.. * not saying you are like that just making a comment *

[thetease13]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]she doesnt want me to change for her but for myself

i'm sorry...but it bugs me when people say things like that. because to me, well, it's a load of crap. they're wanting you to change for them, not for yourself. how can they decide if you need to change for yourself if they're not you?