Should I pop the Question?

[bassman]

Well I have been dateing this girl for like 9 months but I have known her for 7 years. And we are in love, but her parents hate me(for some damn reason), and I'm woundering If I should ask her to marrie me or just giver her a promise ring. PLease advise.

[WallyLlama]

I'll be the first to say, "No where near enough information to offer an opinion." The questions will include your ages, how she feels and what she thinks (particularly about the fact that her parents "hate" you), etc.

Do you want to marry her?

[bassman]

Well First off I'm 18 and shes 18. And we are both stil in high school.I would love to get married to her. We are also realy comofrtable with talking about marrage and kids and stuff like that. And she says that we work really well. and I have told her that as soon as a get enough money I wil buy a ring. And she says that great. BUt we are both going to college after May. So I just wana know if I should just give her a promise ring or what not. You see where I'm coming from right?

[thetease13]

now i shall ask a question.
are you two going to the same college?

me, personally, i would go for the promise ring...especially if you aren't going to the same college. *now, i'm not saying anything "bad" would happen because i know two people who dated in high school. *they were high school sweethearts. *they went to different colleges, both graduated, and are now married and live happily ever after.
they're so cute together it's sickening sometimes. *lol.

but anyways, back on topic. *people change during college. *college is a place where people tend to find themselves because they're more on their own, especially if they live on campus and discover new things about themselves and etc etc.
so me, again, would go for the promise ring. *if you two are still going on strong after a couple years or so, then i say go for it.

but hey, that's just me.
only you can decide if you're ready to pop the question.

edit: i like how two days later i find my mistake in my post. oops. lol.

[oberon]

Now that we have more info...lol... I'm with thetease. *If you truly love each other, waiting shouldn't be a problem. *Give her the promise ring or even an engagement ring, but wait until you are both done with college to get married.

College is going to eat up a large part of your lives for the next few years. *Concentrate on that and by the time you are both done, you should be very prepared for marriage.

But also as thetease said, this is something only you can decide. *But I will say Good Luck whatever your decision.

[bassman]

You have no idea how much better I feel. I can't thank you guys enough for the advice. When I die I will leave you part of my estate lol. BUt anyways thanks a bunch.

[Rawbob]

I agree with the other posts, and i'll add one more thing!

It's not going to be easy, but i think it will show a tremendous amount of maturity if, before you give anything like a ring to this gal, that you spend a few minutes with her parents and discuss your relationship with their daughter.

I'm sure they are freaking out because of your talking about marriage at 18, and with college coming, their afraid she might be "throwing her life away" or that "she's way too young to talk about getting married, etc."

I'm not sure you can expect them to suddenly embrace you or anthying like that...but i know for SURE they will be stunned with your maturity on wanting to chat a bit about things. Oh, the 4 of you should talk....your GF needs to be there too.

If you're smart, you'll reassure them that you BOTH are lookign forward to college and getting an education...but that you both have discussed it, and very much want to remain a committed couple during college.

Life is tough enough without adding unnecessary drama to your lives. And while we dont' know anything about your GF's parents, sometimes YOU 2 have to step up and be the mature voice.

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

ok what i noticed on your post was "i cant decide"
in the "work" i do.. if you can't lol there is a reason for it.

Peace

[WallyLlama]

Now I'll be the first to offer my address for inclusion in your will. LOL

I did want to "amen" Rawbob's suggestion... you may find that taking marriage off the table changes her parents attitude towards you. (Your rejection may be their way of keeping her focused on her education, etc.)

I'd also add that I wouldn't be too concerned about giving her the promise ring, either. It's only a symbol and it sounds like you have a lot of the "right stuff" keeping you together. See how she feels about it, of course.

Wally

[LittleFury]

If you have to ask us if you should pop the question or not, that emans that you're not ready. If tyou really want to, go ahead and give her a promise ring, but definatly do NOT propose.