Christian Relationships

[leemeister]

Hi,
I just started dating a girl I met over my last spring break. She just really became a christian and I have been one for many years now. Since we are in a long distance situation, its been hard not being able to see one another, especially with such a new relationship. My question I am really asking, is that both of us are trying to center this relationship around God and want it to be a healthy christian relationship. Does anyone have some advice on this that would be helpful? At this time, we are both trying to pray to see what God has in store for us, to see if we have something here. Thanks again, hopefully someone can help me out

[oberon]

Hi Leemeister and welcome.

I'm not really sure what you are asking. As far as building a Christian relationship, that depends on the particular tenets of your church. Some believe you must do one thing, some another.

But to build a generally happy and healthy relationship, I believe the most important things are communication and respect. Take your time and really find out about each other. Don't just talk, listen. Keep in mind that when you are in a relationship, you aren't just thinking for one anymore. Everything you do affects another person.

Good Luck, and I wish you both a wonderful relationship.

[leemeister]

basically, the issue at hand is, we both are trying to pray about the relationship to see if it is going to work. She actually came up with the idea of not talking for a few days and just talk to God instead to see what was his Will. Does this help any?

[LittleFury]

Hmmm, I'm probably should eb the last person talking about Christian relationships, but...I would think that there are still things you would do the same as any other one. Stay true to each other, try to talk, try to see each toher, stuff like that. BUt I think that any relationship needs your work, not god's. You have to make it work. He can't always do it for you. He has given you a chance, take it. Don't make him do all the work. I see it as, if he would have been so against it, you would have never met or even gotten together. Sorry if I offended you, but those are my views and just my religion is quite opposite of Christianity. But if you don't understadn what I was trying to say, just ask me to clarify it.

[demonbuttercup]

i agree w/ littlefury
God can only do so much.
maybe it was him or fate that made your paths cross. maybe he iniated the relationship but it is up to you guys to make it work if you want it too.
not talking for a few days and praying the relationship will work i believe would have little effect on the outcome.
as oberon said just be true to yourself and eachother. love, honor, and respect can go a long way.
if you took the time and effort that you spend praying and just put that towards your relationship, it would more likely work out. im not saying to stop praying all together. just that you should focus your efforts on a certain goal and work towards it.

[leemeister]

I agree with the last two statements. *I guess it is just hard because she is new to a Christian relationship. *But you didn’t offend me and you made perfect sense littlefury. *Definitely think that you are right on how God can only do so much in the relationship. *So maybe it means he took the first step in our relationship, now we have to complete the next step or two and wait. * Working towards a goal sounds pretty good. *I actually am close to graduating college and will be back in the same town as her around early June. *Maybe trying to make it till then would be the first goal to accomplish. *Thanks for the advice, anything else/more would be good to. *Always did like getting advice on these types of questions. *

~Leemeister

[WallyLlama]

Hmmm. I'm not sure why you'd seek "spiritual advise" on a sex information board... unless, of course, there are some questions you're NOT asking.

Like Little Fury, I should probably keep my mouth shut because I have some strong opinions and biases when it comes to "organized religion." (I have some qualification and tons of experience, but that's a different story.)

When people become "obsessive" about religion/God, etc. it's as often as not an excuse for not coping with life's realities.

I'd like you to seriously think about your girlfriend's idea that you and her should not speak to each other so God will reveal His will. Does that sound even close to rational thinking? Even if you take "God's will" out of her thinking... the idea that you should explore your relationship by not communicating is, well, nuts!

In my theology, God wants us to be individuals... to take responsibility for ourselves and our lives... to grow and develop and become.

Quite honestly and frankly, I get very annoyed when people try to make God responsible for their actions and the results.

"It was/is God's will..." is often the same as saying "not my fault and I can't do anything about it." And that statement reflects a basic misunderstanding of fundamental Christian theology.

It also seems a bit presumptous, don't ya think? How can a mere mortal claim to know and understand what an omniscient and omnipotent God wants?

I have no desire to turn this into a theological debate, but my simple conclusion to this diatribe is that if you and your girlfriend want a relationship, work at it. Don't make God the bad (or good) Guy.

Wally

[thetease13]

i'm one of those last people who should be talking about a christian or heck, any kind of religious relationship.. but ditto to wally.

[oberon]

Okay, I am understanding a little more what you are looking for. *And so far everyone has pretty much the same idea. *I have to agree. *"God helps those who help themselves." *If you are looking for some sort of sign that this is "the" relationship for you, then it's probably not going to happen. *No halos or burning bushes. *

But what God will do is give you a chance to really find out. *And He will tell your heart if this is right for you. *If the two of you are happy together, comfortable, and willing to work toward a mutual relationship, then I don't think God would want anything more. *Where there is love, that's where you'll find God.

[leemeister]

Well said Oberon. I appreciate the advice and I know its kind of silly asking a question like this on a "sex" board, but seems to me that most other boards i found weren't as good as this one. I think you guys helped a bunch and I look forward to see how the outcome is...

Thanks again

Leemeister