hmm donno

[nodoubt16pb]

I donno why i am really typing this i have lots of things on my mind so please comment.. on hwo stupid u think i am or whatever.
See the thing is i got dumped from my bf a while ago, and am now not ready even after 6 months to date. ( mmhmm... he dumped me after a year and a half over the phone... yeah what a guy eh... no he was a good guy just yeah we weren't meant to be and i realize that.. i know he is different now and i wouldn't want him but there are things about him that i liked and still like... though i would never in a cold day in hell go out with him ) It seems as though i will never be ready and i keep telling myself that it is ok. I just feel so detached and looking for love yet no one has really caught my fancy. Hmm i guess that is it. Just no one has really grabbed me yet. But even so and if i do find a person i feel so emotionally unattached. I mean i masturbate and i cannot finish, i masterbate and don't really get off that well it is as if i have a block and i can't stop it. I just can't let go and feel, i guess that is with all woman but i think it is cuz i have some emotional problem or intimacy problem. I guess my question is how can i get over this, will i ever u think? I am 17 and not interested in dating stupid boys, am i missing out cuz i am smart or do u think i don't wanna get hurt? There are so many questions i don't know. I don't know if i don't wanna date cuz i got hurt and i don't wanna get hurt again or i haven't found a good person or right person or maybe a little of both, yet i can't be so picky. Soemtimes i think i won't date again til i am 20. Hmm i guess just post comments or advice. I am a little lost... and have been for soem time. I donnow hat to do or what to tell my heart what to do for quite some time.

[thetease13]

someone, somewhere will eventually come along that you will fancy.

i'm 23, i've never had a boyfriend. ever. sometimes i think i'm either blocking people out or there's just something wrong with me cause i know guys have been attracted to me.
but then i realize it really isn't me. i know people like me but i'm sorry, a guy who would burn my name into his arm with a coathanger to show "love" just isn't my cup of tea. neither is the one that wanted to follow and stalk me everywhere.

but last year, when i was 22, i found a guy that i had interest in but alas, he was married. later i found he found me attractive and things have blossomed from there. (yea yea, i know. he's married. stone me and send me to hell if you want.) he was my first...for everything. and i mean that, literally. first kiss, first feel up, first person to have sex with, etc etc. he was my first for everything.

i look back now and remember how i was and i used to think that i would be a virgin for the rest of my life. that i would never find someone that wasn't psychotic in some form that liked me. granted, i can't have the guy i have now but atleast he's gotten me over a few hurdles in my life.
and if it wasn't for my manager asking me to work certain days when i came back to work, i would've never met my guy and i wouldn't probably be here telling you this (since i only started coming here after i decided and told him i wanted him to be my first) and i would still be sitting here going, wow, i'm never gonna find someone. lol.

ok, anyways, my point.
be thankful for what you have had in the past, but just keep in mind that somewhere out there, someone is interested in you. you may have not even met them yet. you may have met them and they are just too scared to say anything, but they're out there, somewhere.

good luck to you in the future.

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

*throws alittle pebble* misses.. *mumbles* *stomps feet on the ground*.. laughs
im kidding, soryr i couldnt lift a rock Laughs im kiddin, nah if you feel its ok, then hay what someoen else says sure as hell don't matter :P

PEACE!@

[WallyLlama]

For NoDoubt... sounds to me like you're "in a funk." It's a tough place to be and a tough place to get out of... but what's happening is you're interpreting everything that's happening to you based on one experience. Without consciously realizing it, you're wallowing in apathy and negativity.

Two pronged approach:

Start thinking differently... don't inteprete everything in terms of this "life changing event" (b/f dumping you). You've already said that he wasn't that great. You'll probably get dumped a few more times during your life, so try to look at it as "Well, that's one down."

Start doing things... take up a new hobby, join a group... go for long walks. Give yourself less time to wallow.

The positive and flip side of this is when you fall in love... people say you get "stars in your eyes." You can't see the other person's faults, think about them all the time, can't imagine life without them...

Growing and maturing is about learning to keep balance in your life. You learn to look at the stars, but to glance down at the ground from time to time so you don't fall on your face.

Look up, girl, look up.

Wally

[oberon]

Please forgive me for what I'm about to say,

...NoDoubt16pb, YOU ARE ONLY 17 YEARS OLD!

Okay, now that I have that off my chest, seriously, you are only 17 years old. *I know it doesn't feel like it now, but trust an old man of 36 when I say you haven't had your last relationship. *

My suggestion to you at this point in your life is forget about finding Mr. Right, and find a few friends ( of the guy variety). *A serious relationship takes a long time to build, but no one says you can't have fun while you are looking for one. *I'm not talking about promiscuous sex. *I'm talking about finding guys just to be friends with and "hang out" with. *Hanging around guys just for the fun of it also has a side benefit of helping you figure out what it is you really want.

And there is an old wive's tale that true love happens just when you stop looking for it. *So quit trying to find it and maybe it will find you. *And since this whole speech has made me sound unbearably old, I'll end in the same vein:

Go out and PLAY! * lol

[thetease13]

yea, that's true. things happen when you're not looking for it.

and oberon, you're not old. *lol*

[oberon]

Thank you, thetease13. Some days I feel it more than others though...lol.

I just remember thinking, "If I don't have a man by the time I'm 30 the world will end, or at the very least, I"LL JUST DIE!". Well, thirty came and went, and, guess what? The world didn't end, and I'm still breathing. AND actually happier than I was before thirty. If there is a long term relationship out there for me, I'll find it. If not, then I'm happy with short term "flings" with what usually end up to be very good friends.

[thetease13]

if it makes you feel better, i find older guys very attractive..gay or not. lol.

and well..every year since i was like 18 i kept saying, i'm wanna lose my virginity before i get to the next age or i'm gonna go crazy. i need a relationship or something. i feel so pathetic being such and such age and never having a boyfriend. and of course when i gave up trying to look for guys, and guy found me attractive...granted, he was a weird, annoying, obsessive, and a stalker, so yea, just gave up completely.
so then 9 months later i got myself into whatever you want to call my relationship and i finally lost it a month before i turned 23. lol. and i didn't go anymore crazy than normal. *lol*

my point, as i said and you said, things happen when you're not looking for it. and relationships can still happen even after 1 psychopath, one - uh, i don't even know what to call him, and one obsessive stalker (all of which where never ever my boyfriend, i was just friends with them. lol).

and i need to shut up now.

[oberon]

Thetease13, we are WAY too much alike!!!!!!!! *LOL!!!!

I have wondered at times if someone stuck a sign on my back that says, "Hey, if you are NUTS, come talk to me!" lol *My list of ex's reads like roll call at Mental Health Services. *They are in order first to last: *A pathological liar, a would-be reformed gay man (it didn't take), a manic-depressive, a megalomaniac, and last but not least, a terminal (in the life long sense) closet case.

So I've decided that when (or if) Mr. Right comes along, we'll spend lots and lots of time getting to know each other before declaring that we are "madly in love". *Otherwise, I'll just stay happily single. *

Incidentally, I ALSO like older men. *What is with the two of us!??! lol

[thetease13]

people should start fearing for their sanity because of us...cause dude..the similarities are weird and anyone who thinks like me, well, they just can't be too normal either. lol.

and hey, older men are better. *nods*