About a girl I like

[Tjdude]

Well, let me tell you about my problem. 2 months ago i started working in a new job. At this job, since the first day i was put temporarily in a department in charge of giving support to some production lines (it's a factory and i'm an engineer), because they needed help, but the guy in charge of that department got sick after 2 weeks, so i was left there in charge until he comes back. Now, while i was doing this guy's job, i meet a girl who works there, and for work reasons i had to talk to her many times during the day.

But, before i talked to her, i knew who she was, because the guy who got sick told me they were involved once in a relationship until he dumped her and married another girl. So this girl started to talk to me, first i thougth it was because she was worried about the other guy, since she asked how he was and stuff, but later she started to kinda flirt with me, i noticed she was looking for reasons for me to go at her place of work, or for her to go to my office, or some comments she made to her co-workers when i was around. Like the other day, she was asking another girl if she would give her a puppy, because she needed so bad to take care and love someone, things like that.

So there goes the first question, because maybe i'm too stupid to notice it. Is this girl coming on to me or what? maybe it's just normal flirt and i'm seeing things.

Now, before you answer (YES DUMB ASS, GO GET HER), let me tell you this: She is like the most good looking girl i've ever seen. She is tall, big brown eyes, long dark hair, slim figure, but with very big breasts and an even better butt. Oh man! and not only that, she seems to be very smart, and loves to laugh and make jokes.

She is a dream come true. At least mine. The problem is, i don't think i'm the kind of guy who get's the attention of that kind of girls. I can not say that i'm handsome, not even funny or easy going, i'm kinda quiet and shy, and even over wight. Not to the point that i'm weird and isolated, i mean, i have some friends and i get along well with most of the people, and i can say that i think i'm smart, and a nice guy once u get to know me. I mean, i do get some girls, i even have a gf now (that comes later), but that girl?, i just don't know.

The next question would be, why? what could she posibly see in me, in case that she does. I'm not a rich handsome or funny guy. Maybe she just see a 28yr old single engineer as a good prospect for a husband and a way out the minimum wage. I know some girls do.

Now, let's say she is in to me, and i'm ok with it (wich i'm), for me it will be like grabbing ten tigers from their tails , i would not know what to do. And that takes me in to the problem that maybe i just want to be with her because she is so damn pretty, and i'm almost sure that at this point that's the reason, since i don't know her so well. And i'm about to throw away a 2yr relationship for a girl i just meet.

I wouldn't mind being used by this girl, as long as i know for sure that i'm, because otherwise, i'm sure i will fall in love with her. Maybe it is already too late since i can't stop thinking about her. I can't wait for this weekend to be over so i could talk to her again. Damn ...

Oh! and the last thing is that i have to make a move fast, because the guy who got sick will be returning to work soon, so i will be send to another place and wont be able to talk to her any more, unless i doit out of the work place, and for that to happen, i think i have to make a move :P.

So, any comments would be appreciated, sorry for the bad spelling and lack of proper grammar .

[thetease13]

if i knew what to tell you, believe me, I'd personally have a lot less problems in my life. lol.

i honestly have no idea what my guy sees in me. i don't even know why he would be attracted to me. i'm not exactly the looker. i don't primp myself up so people will notice me. i don't care if i walk around with no makeup on. i'd much rather walk around in a baggy tshirt and jeans and a backwards baseball cap than put makeup on. lol.
but i figure, maybe he's attracted to me because i'm different than most people. i don't care what people think about me and maybe that's what attracts him. again, i really don't know.
and why a normal person like him would actually be attracted to me, intrigues me, since all the other guys i've attracted in my life had stalked me, and obsessed over me, and did various creepy things (like burn my name into their arm....).

but anyways, maybe that's what she sees in you?
you're different than something she would normally go for. you intrigue her because you're different. maybe she's also looking for someone that would take care of her, not necessarily financially, but in other ways too. you seem like a guy that could treat her right.

so my point, if you want her, go get her.
don't be me and never be able to tell someone how you feel until it's too late.

[oberon]

Well, there's a lot of work here. lol

First of all, TJdude, man, you've got to know that I am a firm believer in ending one relationship before you start another. If you think your current relationship is over, then you need to sit your girlfriend down and tell her. *

Second, you need to slow down. *There's an old expression. *Something like, "Rush in, regret at leisure." *I know you feel that there is a time limit, but if you end the old relationship and jump into something new too quickly, without thinking it through, you may regret it. *You know where she works so you can find her again.

That sort of leads into my next comment. *How to woo. *Just tell her- whenever you see her, now or later- that she kept popping into your head and you wondered if you might have dinner or drinks some night and get to know each other. *Most women want romantic, but they also want honest. *Most guys seem to think they need to impress women- mainly with what they say- when what you need to do is listen. *If you get the chance to get to know her, take it. *Listen to what she says and respond with questions or comments to show you've been paying attention. *Everyone likes real attention and it's probably one of the most romantic things you can do. *If you remember what she says, then you have a lot of clues as to what she likes and dislikes. *It makes doing nice and romantic things much easier and there is a better chance she'll really appreciate them.

Lastly, this self-esteem thing. * Everyone on this planet is an individual and has individual taste. *The old, "some like chocolate and some vanilla" is VERY true. *Some people like older, some younger, some thin, some fat. *You think this girl is beautiful, maybe she thinks something similar about you. *A lot of "beautiful people" spend a lot of time alone because no one thinks they are "good enough". *Just remember, you are not only good enough, you are the best you there is on the planet. *You won't know what she thinks until you ask her and maybe spend time together. *The worst that can happen is it doesn't work out. *And there are 6 billion more people out there and about half are women.

I hope some of this helps and doesn't sound preachy. *Let us know how things go. *Good Luck.

[Tjdude]

Oberon, you are a light in the dark night, and i thank you for your great advice , you too Thetease13. My decision is that i'm going to ask her out some day on this week, tomorrow if i can, i know it seems like i'm rushing things, but i know my self, and i know that if i think too much about i will not dare to doit. Sounds stupid i know, but it's my only chance. About my g/f, well i've never cheated on her, and i'm not going to start now, so i will make peace with her before doing something else.
C ya.

[thetease13]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (Tjdude @ Mar. 08 2004,23:58)]but i know my self, and i know that if i think too much about i will not dare to doit.

that is so me.

the more i think, the worse i get. lol.

[oberon]

Hey, you are welcome. *I also know it is easier to give advice than to take it {lol}, so you have my sympathy. *YOU are the one doing all the work, I just listened.

I also "think too much" and the conversations I imagine in my head are NEVER like the real ones. *It's so much nicer when I get to make up both sides of the dialogue. *Oh well, that's life, I guess. *Roll the dice and take your chance.

Anyway, again good luck. *Let us know what happens.

[thetease13]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (oberon @ Mar. 09 2004,12:56)]I also "think too much" and the conversations I imagine in my head are NEVER like the real ones. *It's so much nicer when I get to make up both sides of the dialogue.

ain't it though? lol.

me and my guy, we're on a break right now, so to speak.
so now all i'm doing is thinking and making up conversations in my head.
yea, i should seek medical attention. lol.

[oberon]

Hey thetease13, I'm with you. If things get too bad, just remember what I said to TJdude and know that the other half of that 6 billion are men.

[thetease13]

we're not giving up on each other.
we just have to take a break for a while, because well, in all honesty i have a nosey ass of a coworker who decided to go through the call list on my phone and saw his name a bunch of times so now she's all up on his case about us (he works part time with us.)

i don't really care if we're "together" right now (well i do, but just go with me a minute). it's the fact that he is also my best friend and it's none of her business why i'm talking to him or why i'm calling him. we don't always flirt over the phone. a lot of the times we hold normal conversations like normal friends would.
and he's ALWAYS been my friend even before we ever showed interest in each other. and through the months we've just grown closer.
so it's not tearing me apart that i'm not with him. it's tearing me apart cause i'm losing my best friend for the time being and well, it sucks monkey balls.

and if you do or don't know already, he is older than me. he is also married (yea yea, i know, stone me to death if you must) and i know that i am just a side thing but it doesn't bug me. it's never really bothered me that hey, i can't have him. i'm used to the whole, keeping it on the downlow thing. i'm used to the whole not telling anyone thing. i'm used to the whole "together but not together" thing, and like i said, doesn't really bother me (i have my moments but that's normal.)
it just bothers me that i basically have to deny him as a friend right now cause people apparently want to be hypocrites in life and butt into other peoples lives when it's not their place.

[yea, i'm a little pissy today...and probably will be for some time. lol]

[Tjdude]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (oberon @ Mar. 08 2004,11:56)]I also "think too much" and the conversations I imagine in my head are NEVER like the real ones. *It's so much nicer when I get to make up both sides of the dialogue. *Oh well, that's life, I guess. *Roll the dice and take your chance.

Man!!! That is so truth, i was thinking yesterday of asking her out as i said, but i was so busy that i never had a chance, and she is almost never alone (it'll be akward to ask her out in the middle of a crowd of co-workers). And i blew my perfect chance when she was going out to go home and i ask her what way she was going, and she told me an opposite direction from where i was going, and i so stupid told her alright and good bye. I don't know if laugh or cry about it . I need a new brain, seriously