Where to go?

[kevin83]

Ok, there are two girls that i really like. My current girlfriend used to be great. We had so much fun. We'd spend days together just walking so we could be together.

She was with this guy before me, and she let him finger her (the guy was going out with another girl at the time). They talked about how they wanted to sleep together (my girlfriend denies this) and i know they were crazy about each other. But they got caught and it ended. And i know my girlfriend was upset. Then i came into the picture and she tells me how i'm 100 times what he was but i just can't help but feel like she's lying to me just to please me. I know she really liked this guy, and if they didn't get caught, i have my suspicions as to it would still be going on or not.

Anyway, she still liked him after it and then she met me. We've been going out for 8/9 months now and we've been through the mill (pregnancy scares, fights, tests etc...), and although she says she still loves me, i feel as though she is just with me because i'm an older guy (2 years older) and she wants my reputation (cause i'm quite well known) rather than me. She get's on so well with all our friends, guys and girls, she can talk to any guy so well and she's always flirting and laughin with them, but she still says that she wants me.

Every time i think about her being with that other guy, and how they would probably still be doing it if they didn't get caught, i just get so upset, it feels like she's cheated on me, even although that happened before we were going out, i knew her at the time.

Then, there's this other girl. She is gorgeous, and she likes me (in a good way), but she is really friendly with my current girlfriend, and what makes it worse is that a few of my friends really like the girl who likes me. She's liked me for a while (so i'm told), and i really feel horrible about not being able to see her. I don't know what to do because i can't even think anymore. I'm going to help out at this girl's mum's dance thing on saturday, should i tell her how i feel?

The problem is breaking up with my current girlfriend. There's no way i could do it. She's just so attached to me, but i still don't feel like she's with me because she loves me, her parents know me really well, and they would hate me if i broke up with her, and if i ever wanted to give things another chance they would probably hate me, and not let it happen. I think she would be really upset, and i just don't think i could do that to her. I don't know what to do.

Any advice? Please...?

kev.

[oberon]

I get a very strong sense of "Help me get out of this relationship without hurting anyone" in you post. *That's too bad. *Unfortunately, when relationships end, someone usually ends up feeling hurt. *It also sounds as if you are trying to justify your reasons for wanting out.

As to your being justified in your reasoning: you don't need to be. *Your reasons are your reasons. *If you want to end this relationship you are perfectly within your rights to do so. *With no more reason than "It's not working for me." *

As to not hurting anyone: *commendable, but not usually possible. *Better to be caring and honest. *If one person is unhappy in a relationship, both usually end up unhappy. *If you don't think you can fix the unhappy, best that both of you move on. *

About the new girl. *It's okay that you like her. *Just make sure you tie up all the loose ends of your current relationship before you begin anything new. *In plain english, dump the first BEFORE you start something with someone new. *It's really not cool to move the next one in before the last one is out the door.

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

that.. and i duno maybe wait a month.. for some reason if you break up then just go out with the other the next day its hard.. specially them being friends, if they dont know eachother LOL thats a different story. and if your ready for that.. but yea jus tmaybe wait alittle but before going after the other?

[oberon]

LOL...Lady. I guess I've gotten cynical. While a waiting period would be nice, I suppose I've come to settle for ending one before you begin another. Your way is definitely classier.

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

Well, thats.. my rule.. only if they know eachother.. lol but if they dont! GO For it!, and.. don't tell the ex.. usally LOL untill about a month or more.. so.. it doesnt hurt them? as much? u know... i do that one too


jamie