Regrets "Birthday Sex"

[scooter]

Hey everyone! I just need some imput as to what everyone thinks about somethin that happend to me the other day. Yesterday (Monday) was my 19th birthday (yah!!)! And I was hanging out at some 'work friends' appartment drinking and havin a grand ol' time. The two girls whos appartment it is are good friends of mine now. But one of them is really special to me, and i allllllmost feel like she could be considered my best friend (she tells me all the time that I am her best friend). She is really open about sex and we openly flirt and talk about having sex with each other (even though she has a bf of a year). When they bust out the "birthday sex" talking. By this time I was absolutely smashed and the room was spinning. Another of the girls friends came over and started to party with us. I needed to take a break though so I found the nearest girls room and laid on the bed to try and take a breather. Suddenly this newest arrival to the group comes in, and lays down beside me. Eventually shes takin off her shirt and is going to close the door (and i think because I told her to close the door)...anyways one thing leads to another and we end up fooling around (which I dont remember anything of really).

And now I feel terrible (no not because of the drinking haha)! The one girl who I have become really close with seemed almost dissapointed when she walked in on us...even though she was laughing and seemed happy (if that makes sense). I found out later that they had all talked about giving me birthday sex. She told me, that any chance that I had previously had with her relationship wise was gone now...and im crushed! I cant stop wishing that I had said no! I cant stop thinking about her! I just kinda feel like I let her down because she knows that I like her in a more than friend way, and yet was so easily 'distracted' by someone else...I cant even sleep tonight because of it...

Now, like I said I dont remember alot about what happend, but should I talk to this girl who I fooled around with? Tell her that I regret it or something? It didnt mean anything to me...


Sorry about the rambling and excessive detail in this post! I just felt it neccessary to fully explain the situation and get some stuff off my chest...

Thanks for any replies too, cause I know its a pain to read through it all haha!

Later Days

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

well first that girl is in a relationship.. do you really want that? like.. if you 2 got together and she really was wanting to screw around with another? do you honestly want someone whos like that? 2nd...drinkin isnt an exscuse... and you do what you do.. nothin really can change that.. don't matter if you regret it or not it is what it is.. and.... like she said.. you guys are best friends.. FRIENDS... that means something other than... MORE THAN FRIENDS. Alsoooo if they ALL talked about givin you "bday sex" then.. i dont see why she has her panties in a twist.. but BAH....

jamie

[scooter]

I understand your points about how she is in a relationship and stuff...and how she could pull the same stuff on me if we were together. Its true.

And I've always known that drinking isnt an excuse. I've seen plenty of friends go through it...

I think why Im really bummed out about it all, is because I feel like i let myself down. The girl I like is amazing even if she does have a bf, and how she said "Me and you have no chance anymore" was a big ouch! Maybe it has somethin to do with her just being mad at me for it? Like her friend instead of her...maybe thats just bull though haha.

A buddy of mine said somethin though that made alot of sense, she is always telling ME about how she gets so much sex and whatnot from her bf. I've told her bout a few times of mine but, she just happend to see it first hand one time...

I guess I'll just see what happens today when I see her...

[oberon]

I agree with Lady. *This girl says you have no chance with her now; how much of a chance did you have before?! *She has a boyfriend! *

I also don't see her right to be huffy. *Are you suppose to be celibate just because you can't have her?

One last thing. *DON'T tell the young woman you fooled around with that you regret it. *Say YOU made a mistake or YOU were drunk and took things farther than you meant to. *If you say you regret it, she is just going to hear that SHE was a mistake in some way. * And I don't think you want to hurt her feelings.

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

totally...
either way... lol she shouldnt even be saying that kinda shiznit. to you.
Oberon with ya.. 100%

[scooter]

Work today was a bit weird as hell. The girl that I care alot about wasn't even talking to me...which got me really bummed out. Its funny because the girl I had the b-day sex with was totally normal and we chatted casually like always.

I have no idea what to do. Give her some time and space? I really wanna make her a valatines gift that shes told me she hasnt gotten from her bf in along time...it's like im falling for her even though she has a bf. The thought of her being mad over something like this, kinda scares me...mostly just because shes so amazing!!

Anymore thoughts?

And just a tid-bit more info...I had sex with a casual friend a couple weeks ago and she knew about it cause i told her...she didnt get upset about it. Its just kinda 'lopsided' if ya know what i mean.

Later Days

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

ok well doesn't matter.. sorry but shes got a bf.. so.. really shes off limits. and you should respect that. And honestly.. who cares? if shes mad about YOU having sex with someone.. its not like she can do a thing about it unless she breaks up with her bf.. which im not sure she will.. because thats "security".. but i dont see why your bothering.. shes taken sweetie.

then again i dont see why shes being the way she is about it.. she has a bf.. she should maybe smarten up.. and figure out what she wants from her bf.. or well more so with her life... anyhoo


jamie

[oberon]

I agree. You can tell her you like her, but until the boyfriend is history you are just asking for trouble if you try to be more than friends. And don't try to talk her into leaving the boyfriend for you. You'll regret it. It has to be her decision. If she feels like you forced her into anything, she'll resent it and always hold it against you.

Also, would you want to date her if she still had a boyfriend? What if you were the boyfriend? Would you want her to think it was o.k. to look for the next guy before she was done with you?

[?wiseman?]

scooter, I'm thinking that the girl you like is feeling rejected. Sounds like she was primed to provide you with a birthday present only to find out that this newest arrival to the group delivered hers first.

Only way you're gonna straighten things out with her is to talk to her. Let her know that you respect that fact that she's in a relationship with someone and you still want to be friends, and possibly more, in the future. Throw the ball back into her court.

Oh, and uh, Happy Birthday!

[scooter]

Wiseman, thats what I feel like it is too. Like she feels rejected by me in some way. Which I had no intention of doing at all!! I cant say enough how awesome she is!

I want to talk to her, Ill be seeing her tonight. I just dont know how to do it straight up...any ideas?

Later Days