Regrets "Birthday Sex"

[?wiseman?]

Not knowing you guys, all I can say is that I'm a very open person who tries to put it right out on the table. Works with some folks, others have difficulty with it.

Clearly, the relationship changed the night of your birthday, so I'd start there.

"I really value your friendship and something changed between us the night we were all together for my birthday. I want to make sure you understand how I feel about it and I need to know how you feel about it because . . ."

You're on your own beyond that. Figure out what your motive is for having this conversation with her. Too many variables in what her response may be, so I suggest that you think through each one that you can come up with. Good luck and let us know how things turn out.

[scooter]

Well, I asked her tonight what exactly was on her mind. She hadnt said more than two words to me all night so I just had to ask...

She said that the girl I had fooled around with had done it before with another guy from work, and that they lost all of their respect for that guy. So I lost alot of their respect too...not so much as important as hers!

Then she went on to tell me about how her and her bf are breakin up when he moves out of their appartment...and how she wanted to be with me. Because over the last couple weeks she feels that she had gotten extremely close to me...As much as I wanted to know this and hear it I had never actually thought it would be for sure. I just never wanted to wreck that "chance". But she said that now it probably wont happen and it will be weird and different between us for awhile.

I feel worse tonight because I know that I wrecked something for HER not just for me. I could have made her incredibly happy and given her everything she ever wanted...

I just need to work to gain back most importantly HERS and my other friend's respect! We have the chemistry and maybe if we almost 'start all over' in a way, the chance will present itself again...every night I'm gonna pray that it does and if so, ill pray everynight the rest of my life that I was given that chance. If its meant to be it'll happen.

She is unlike anyone ive ever met, and SHES AMAZING! I feel terrible that I hurt her...more than I could just say in words...

Later Days

[archer]

You cant blame everything on yourself, you had no knowledge that she was gonna break up wif her b/f and she wanted you. The exact moment you fooled around with the other girl ur conscience was free, and you should remain that way, cos u htought u guys were "just friends". You cant expect to remain g/f free if you know the one u really truely like has a b/f. you were having your own fun. i almost kind of feel she is controlling you, or using you as a back up b/f (but i dont not know you or her personally).

She has betrayed you aswell..not telling you of her and her b/f's plans, and how she really likes you.

Yes you have lost something, but u werent in a b/f, g/f relationship with her on that party night.

If your love is true, she has to find it in her heart to forgive you, and she'll definietly see it, cos if she denies you, she'll be loosing something as well.

good luck

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

im with you on that archer... i think its too.. "odd", that.. and how does it make you loose respect for sleepin with that girl, stuff happens.. it shouldnt really be thrown in your face for it.. because hay.. THey ALL PLANNED it... from what you said... so.. i dont see the real problem.. that and if she felt that way, why didnt she say it before all that happend?>?> or somethign you know? Bah.. women, im a woman and i think sometimes they are so stupid. lol
in how they treat guys.