B/f has a police record

[annymous]

im going to try to make this as short as possable ive been datimg this guy for 4 months i know thats not that long but any ways half way throu the relationship my mom started hateing him and didnt want him at her house any moe she even kicked me out and cause all kinds of other drama cause i was seeing him yesterday she showed me his court records wich are a mile long moastly traffic tickets and phone horassment but she said there are 3 things he isnt telling she told me he has a felony he never told me about this i dont know if it is true but since she told me that now im very concerned and scared for myself shoud i just leave him i do have strong feeling for him

[thetease13]

if you feel that he is going to hurt you (like physically or something), leave.
no one should be in any type of abusive relationship.

and i know you may care for him, or love him, or whatever, but if you're scared of him and/or what he might do to you, it's not worth it, to me atleast.
i don't believe anyone should be scared of their partner in any way.

[demonbuttercup]

yeah i agree w/ the tease
if you are having doubts its better to get out now.
i know you might hate to admit it but moms are usually right about stuff.
i mean if he already has some stuff on his record why would she make up the fact he has a felony?
maybe you should talk to him and ask him.
maybe it was something from a long time ago and he's a changed person.
like if it was drugs or something but he's gotten help and isn't using anymore you shouldn't hold that against him.
on the other hand, if it was for something more violent then you should definetly consider leaving the relationship.
good luck.

[oberon]

Well, having a young sister, I have been through this and have basically formed the opinion that people are going to do whatever they have already decided- no matter how many people tell them it's a bad idea. *But in case you happen to be different, here goes.

I sounds like you are fairly young, but that doesn't mean that you can't form strong attachments or that your judgement is bad. It also sounds like you are fairly intelligent. *So why don't we try to reason this out. *What I have heard from you so far:

1. *It's a new relationship- put bluntly, you barely know this guy.

2. *There are already trust issues.

3. *It sounds like he, at least in the past, is not the most stable person, possibly even dangerous.

4. *This is causing very basic problems in your life- it's already lost you a place to live and made it difficult to talk to your family.

Now as far as the guy goes, maybe he has changed, or maybe he hasn't. *In my experience, people changing their basic nature is very rare- like never. *But if you think he is worth taking the chance, you need time to find out if he has changed.

Unfortunately, he has already started to cut you off from your family, so if it turns out he is a bad guy, who do you turn to? *You need to try to patch things up with your mother. *Family will be there long after all the guys in the world have left. *This also gives you a safe place to think things through, and support if things go wrong. *Especially if it turns out he really is dangerous.

Now, if this guy is really a nice guy, he won't want to cause you any pain or trouble. *So he shouldn't want you to lose your family. *He should also be willing to take the time to show that he is decent and has only your best interest at heart. *I mean, if it's love, you want to be together for a long time. So why not take the time to really get to know each other? *If he really is interested in caring for you, he should stick it out. *If he's not, wouldn't you rather know now? *Before you've gone through hell and high water, and wasted a lot of time on him?

Incidentally, if it turns out he is a rat, don't be too upset. *The old adage, "There's a lot of fish in the sea." really is true. *I promise there will be another guy out there for you.

[?wiseman?]

annymous, regardless of your age, your warning signs are going off. I think you're probably mid to late teens and you are in a dead end relationship. Please talk with someone at your school about your situation if you feel you cannot talk with your mom. A parent who kicks their child out of the house is not a good parent. I sense a real desperation in your post and you need to speak with an adult who can help you look at your situation from an objective point of view. In the meantime, your mom is family and regardless of what your "boyfriend" says, they have your best interests at heart.

Strong feeling or not, you're scared and need to talk to an adult about your situation. Please do so immediately!

[annymous]

im 21

[Rawbob]

Well, if you're 21, you are old enough to make your own decisions and live with the consequenses.

If you are living with your mom however, you ARE obligated to abide by her rules. We all hate it, but, thats life. If you can afford to get your own place, pay your bills, etc..then you can come and go as you like. And, given that scenerio, your mom will have to deal with the fact that you are an independed adult and just be there to support you.

I do think that you should talk with him about what his criminal past is about. If nothign else, it will give u an indication of how truthful he is with you.

Think with your heart and your head..and try not to get so mad at your mom - no matter how much it seems like she's butting in your life!

[annymous]

i talked with him about his past and all he told me a few things we decided that we should just be freinds he also told me he wants to hear of my mom getting along with me again and if not i shoud move out wich is being considered when i get a better job thanks for the advice