Planning on having sex...

[JBClvrGirl]

Me and my bf have been together for a long time, and we've been talking about sex for a while. Both of us are virgins, and im completely happy w/ losing my virginity to him. He's who i want it to be. I love him with all my heart, and he loves me too, that im not questioning. We've promised each other we're not going to let anything get in the way of our relationship.
* * * *Well, we're actually planning on having sex here in a few days. We both want to be safe, so we're using condoms and he's going to pull out. Everything that we've talked about, im happy with, i want it all to happen, im not nervous about any of the concequences of sex, we're being careful. But the one thing I am worried about is sex taking over our relationship. We have a wonderful relationship. We've been through some really hard times together. We dont get to be wiht eachother very much because of some distance, but we'd promised not to let anything get in the way and we pulled ourselves back together.
* * * *I know he's really looking forward to having sex. Dont get me wrong, i am too, but i think sex is going to become too much of it. I dont want us to begin to think that everytime we are together we have to have sex. A relationship should be so much more, and up to this point, it has been. If I were in a not as serious relationship and felt as comfortable having sex with the guy as i do now, i'd do it. But i *really think ours is something really special, and its meant to last, and a little part of me is saying that this is going to get in the way. But I still really want to. More of me wants to than doesnt, a lot more, but its just that little bit that im wondering if i should really worry about.
* * * *Has anyone ever been in a situation like this? How did it turn out? Any and all advise would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

I duno, you still seem to have a doubt there, and maybe it will take over the relationship.. im not sure, time will tell, but.. i duno also for planning.. maybe don't neccessarly plan it.. just keep everything on hand.. but wait till that right time where you don't feel that doubt.. cause by going "we are gonna have sex... the next time i see you kinda thing can cause stress on a person as well and make it... hard for them to relax. I'm saying this because.. that is what happend with my relationship.. well long long time ago, but we just would almost PLan sex.. and when we seen eachother, thats all we did.. really.. the communication kinda stopped aswell.. and we broke up about a month and half later... I duno my best suggestion is just WAIT untill you are comfy.. like say some night you guys are making out.. or something and it just keeps getiting more and more deeper.. then maybe go for it, but just dont.. plan on doing that.. so its liek your "forced"... but by your own mind of course... but always keep condoms around... at his house and your house....


peace

[?wiseman?]

Sounds like your mind is made up, so I'll only give you an answer, but no advice.

It sounds like there's a stong bond here, and you both are interested in moving to a more intimate relationship. Make no mistake, your relationship WILL change. Just one example: Each month, you'll now be wondering if there is any chance that you're pregnant. At least occassionally you'll be late on your period and wonder again, but it will be much more stressful. How will you react and how will he react?

The relationship will change and nly the two of you, together, can determine if it will be for the positive or the negative.

[LittleFury]

Well, dunno if this is going to help. I'm not gonna give you an advice, and I won't give you an answer. But I will tell you how it was for me deciding on this. Then I was thinking about it, I only went for it then there were no unanswered question, and then there was no doubt in my mind. Also I was on a pill for about 2 months before that. And yes, things did change. ONe of the ways was that every month I was worried from that point on if I was pregnant or not. This is soemthing you will have to find an answer for yourself, I don't think that we can trully help you.

[thetease13]

i really don't think anyone can help you much but i'm just gonna say this one thing.

yes, sex does change a relationship. *it can change it in good ways but it can also change it in bad ways (depending on how you personally look at it). *and if you're not ready for either kind of change to happen, perhaps now isn't the time for you.