Still Seeing Ex Boyfriend

[sh_2000_ca]

.. iam 17 and iam dating a girl that's 19, first of all , all my friends thing that the age diffrence is alot, but i think that things can workout, so far it has been really, really hard, because she is older, she allways makes all these deciesions without even telling me.... and even if she tells me , she really doenst care what i have to say.....

she still has to see Her X Boyfriend (went out for 1 yr) like every week, and he still calls her everynight and they talk on the phone for like 30 mins sometimes... *this pisses me off, and i have been telling her its not ok , even when we were friends... but now these past 2 weeks, i been really really pissed with this, and i just treat her like shit everywhere and ignore her, when his name is mentioned.... *i dont know what i should do, today i told her she coudlnt see him anymore and she started crying.. wtf am i supposed to do..???
and one more thing, she is a flirty person , and she flirts like with everyone that she works with.. and this has also been an issue, but i dont know if i should tell her?? is it okay that she's like this?? does she just not like me.. i am really confused, i would appreciate some feedback...

.... and one more thing.. ... she goes out to bars and stuff, cuz shes 19 , and i cant go with her, i told her i feel like shit when she does this.. but she still does it anyway.. what u people think i should do. .....???

[demonbuttercup]

id ditch her
apparently she has no regard for your feelings
you mention this fact several times

she apparently still has feelings for her ex or at least they are still friends.
you also have to allow her to have her own life and can't be telling her what to do all the time. treating her like shit and ignoring her isn't going to help the situation either.
if you guys can't communicate and come to any type of compromise then there's nothing to work w/.
i just don't think you two are at a point in time to have a relationship.

on the flirty thing...thats probably just her personality. i know girls like that. they'll flirt and not even realize it. thats part of who she is and even if she toned it down some she would probably always be the flirty type. that is just who she is. and if you can't like her for who she is, then it won't work out.

[archer]

YEAH DITCH HER!!!!!

she totally disregards your feelings and doesnt even make a comprimise. yes its hard wen you cant go out wif her, but bars and over 18 places arent the only great, fun places to go to.

She prolly still has feelings for her ex. i'd confront her and make her choose...i mean she can be friends wif her ex but the constant ph calls, etc i reckon is goin way tooo far!!

look forward to other ppl, ppl who actually care about u and your feelings!

good luck

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

ok first, what kind of decisions? Do they really have to do with you?.. or is it more.. she plans things to do on the weekend with out talking to you? you should grow up alittle, they were dating a year and if it was a mutual split, then they are most likely friends, that and she most likely isnt over h im completely and he isnt over her, but they are.. friends.. nothing wrong with friends. Also, you can't tell someone who they can and can't see. They will decide that for themselves.
The whole Flirty thing, like demon said, thats just sometimes someones personality. The whole BAR thing, whatever, nothin you can do about it, its something she likes to do.. and its not her fault or yours, that your not old enough. I don't really understand why it makes you feel like shit, she is just doing her own thing, she seems by the sounds of it Rather Independant, which is awesome, you should admire that :P sometimes its hard to come by.
But, you need to talk with her and really talk to her, see how she feels about shit when you say it...and i duno, you both seem maybe at an age where your at different levels in your life, but i do wish you luck.

Jamie - p.s sorry if im coming off as strong, but in your post you seem'd kinda.. 'she shouldn't do this, that and that' kinda vibe....
peace

[LittleFury]

Hmm, it looks like it would be best if you guys went your separate ways. She's not treating you like an equal, doesn't seem to care about your feelings, and pretty much partly treats you like shit.
BEst would be to break up. However, learn from this, and also look at your own actions. Try to learn to control your jealousy. I know you're upset about her still having contact with her x, but that doesn't give you a right to treat her like shit in return. Also, telling her that she's not allowed to see him anymore is pretty bad as well. Sorry if I sound harsh, but from what you told us, this is what I see, and it can pottentially cause a problem in your next relationship.
Seriously, from everything you told us, it definatly be best if you break up.

[sh_2000_ca]

allright, thanks for the advice you guys, That's what everyone seems to be telling her as well.. but i really don't want to break up the relationship, we were friends for so long, and i spent so much time with her. i didn't care that she flirted with guys when we were friends, and i didnt care that she had all thse other habits i didn't like.. but now that iam dating her.. she would come to work and pick me up, and spent like 30 mins just walking around and talking to the Managers, and all the guys that work there.. i told her i wasnt ok with that.. she said that's just how she is.. I dont know.. we have like totally oppesite personalities.. Iam sorry if it sounds like i keep complaining.. But i need some point of views, and i need some of you to kind of think for me, cuz it's really hard for me.. again thanks for the all replys. i appreciate it.

[deroxor]

umm it looks to me like they already thought for you. it may seem like youl regret ditching her now but its not worth it if she makes you put up with allot of sh*t... i learnd that the hard way, and i wish i woulda dumped her months before we broke up..... but thats just me. the decision is up to you.... we can only tell you what we think

[AJ69]

Your relationship soooo reminds me of my last relationship. It seems to me that your relationship w/ this girl is taking an unhealthy turn! IMO, there are a couple of questions you need to ask yourself--
1. Are her faults something you are willing/able to live with?
2. If the answer to question #1 is no, then are you willing to
miserable for the duration of your relationship?

My advice to you is to listen to what your friends have to say in the matter. I wish I would have listened to my best friend a lot earlier. It would have saved me a world of pain and heartache. I also agree that you may need to work on your jealousy/trust issues. Finally, think and make decisions w/ the head attached to your shoulders and not the head you keep in your pants.

GOOD LUCK!!!

[PennywiseEvilClown666]

I'm kinda divided on this one, because i can see points from everyone else that posted here. Personally, i'd ditch her and move on. These are my reasons:

1. I personally feel that if a girl or guy is still talking to their ex everyday on the phone, and then when they're with you their name is brought up is wrong. She is dating you, not him. It's possible to still be friends with someone and not talk to them everyday etc. So, yeah i'd be pissed to because when i'm with a girl she's where my soul attention goes to. I don't associate with other girls with an exception of an occasional hello or whatever. Plus, i've never been somewhere with another girl and said "well guess what me and angela talked about last night on the phone" or anything to even remotely bring up an ex girlfriend.

2. I know a lot of girls who are 100% flirts. That's just the way they are and it will never change. When i was younger i used to just associate girls like this as slutty, which wasn't exactly fair. Needless to say it helped me stay away from a personality i didnt like. So if you don't like her personality, then it wont work.

3. I agree that this girl is her own person, which is cool, but she should be able to do as she wants. Especially if she doesn't try telling you what you can and can't do. i also understand that going to bars is a thing she likes to do. That's her, and there's nothing you can do to change that. However, if she's aware of this and really wanted to spend time with you she'd be like "ok, how bout we go do something that we can do together."

My advice like i said earlier is to break off the relationship as it is. Y'all were probably better staying friends in the first place. And remember that there's time's to be jealous and times to not be jealous. Sometimes, jealousy can be a bitch to get control of.

[sh_2000_ca]

Hey, thanks for all the good advice.. The relationship is long gone- she's trying to hook back up with My bestfriend, like she tried and failed once already before she dated me..

But it allways gives me something to look forward to, when you guys add a good reply, especially the last one.

Thanks for your time