No confidence and shy as hell...

[fatDude]

Well, first of all let me tell you some things about me.

I am a 22 year old Mexican who came to the states three years ago. *For the most part I devoted myself to work and attended a few classes at college. Sometimes I feel really depressed for I have no friends and much less a love life. I know some people over the internet, a lot from my home country and others from Europe or South America and I keep in touch with them quite often, but as you know people need more than just words on a computer screen.

Most of all I am very shy and have almost no confidence on myself. My English (as you can see) is not that good, and I feel self-conscious when I try to speak, I guess I need a lot of practice. I was hoping someone could give me some advice.

I am really tired of my current situation, and think that it is time for a change of lifestyle. For most of my life I didn’t like how I looked and how I felt and I think I finally found the will to change most of those things. Anything you have to say will be appreciated.

Thank you.

[?wiseman?]

Hey fatDude, welcome to the forum. A couple things first off, your language is much better than many of the members on the board so congratulations on mastering English in such a short time. Secondly, get your head in the right place and change your member name.

There are quite a few posts on the board from persons who consider themselves shy and awkward in social scenarios, so take a look around. Shyness can sometimes be mistaken for standoffishness by those around us. Here is a short list of things to ponder:

Take a public speaking course at your school (confidence builder)
Take a debate class at school (confidence builder)
Join a club at school that addresses a hobby or interest. (meeting people)
Volunteer at a hospital, shelter or home (character builder and you meet people)
Join a health club (getting fit)

Think some other activities that will force you to be involved and come out of your shell. If you really do have difficulties in speaking the language, face them head on in social situations. Don't be afraid to ask someone how best to express something if you're unsure. This can be an endearing quality in a person- recognizing a self-limitation and not being afraid to seek some help.

Good luck to you-

[LittleFury]

Ok, lets try to kill a few birds with one stone.
Partly know how you feel, I moved here from another country a few years ago as well.
Now, you think that your English is not as good as you would like it to be. Here's the idea, take an English class that could help you to improve it. There are bunch of places you could do that at. First few days of class, turn around and say hi to a person behind you or across from you. Just introduce yourself. A bit later, you can ask if they would like to get together and study in a small group. That way you're improving your English and making new friends, and who knows, one of them mgiht be really cute and interested. Thats sort of what my mom did...except for the dating part, but she did make a bunch of friends that way.
Good luck

[fatDude]

Thank you, both of you. I really appreciate your advice and will keep it in mind. I thought about some of those things before, and also got some new ideas from you that I will make sure I try in the near future.

More than dating I just want to get to know people and learn to just be myself without that awkward feeling I always get. I can wait a little before I start the dating thing. My English is not that bad, especially when it comes to writing, reading and listening, it’s just that I get a bit nervous when I speak.

Anyways, I will keep browsing around the message board for other useful posts, so it is very likely that we will read each other again.

Thank you.