Scared to try again......

[Caitiff]

Well, I guess the best way to start this out is by telling about my last relationship.



My last girlfriend worked as a stripper in Chester, PA when we met. My brother introduced us on a Saturday night in June 2001. We hooked up a few days later, and she took my virginity. Well, I wouldn't go that far, but we had sex. (I'll explain what I meant here in a minute.)

While we were actually having sex, her cell phone started to ring. She looked down at me (Yes, she was on top.) and asked me to "Stay still and don't say anything." At this point, in my naïveté, I just asked her to hurry up. Big mistake. She was on the phone for over 20 minutes. (I'm not exagerating, either. There was a DVD of Neon Genesis Evangelion playing, so while she was on the phone, I literally watched a full episode.) So, it turns out that I'm probably the only guy in the world who didn't nut his first time.

(When I mentioned "Had Sex" as opposed to "Took Virginity," I meant that a friend of mine told me something a few days after it happened. She told me "Until you've had good sex, you haven't really had sex." So, by that train of thought, I'm still a virgin.)

Well, the next 5 months aren't important to this story, so I'll skip to the good stuff. Starting with the fact that the guy on the phone was her last boyfriend before me. (I'm creative, but this is further than I can ever imagine. This is true.) So, let's fast forward a couple months, when she actually called me on the phone to inform me that she just had sex with another woman. (I'm not kidding. And, it gets even better.) I got this phone call somewhere between 5-10 times. I really didn't keep count. But, after that was said and done, she had been with at least 3 other women.

I found out a few weeks later that she was cheating on me with more people, including the guy who was on the phone when we had sex the first time. (Yup, you read that right.) She also was having sex with someone else before we broke up. (For those of you scoring at home, that's 5 people she cheated on me with, that I know of.)

Now, her and my brother were "friends" the whole time, so she really told him everything. And, man did my brother ever drive that down my throat. But, he refused to tell me anything more tha I already knew. In fact, he said that I was "an idiot" if I thought that the sex with the women was even cheating. He also, for some strange reason, got very defensive when I said that she wasn't even very good in bed.

And, things went on about like that until just after Thanksgiving. My brother was in the basement (my bedroom, basically) with his girlfriend. So, Kat (my ex) and I were talking outside the house, and she started the conversation with "I'm not cheating on you, but..." Now, who the f*ck starts a conversation with that? I knew imediatly that this was a break up conversation. (Hey, I actually cared about her at the time. Also, I found out about the guys after we broke up.) So, we talked for a while, and then she offered to be "friends." I wasn't even listening at this point. I just wanted to go inside and crack into the 6 pack I had in the basement. But, when I reached the door to the basement, I heard my brother moan fairly loud. (Yeah, my brother and his girlfriend were having sex while Kat and I were breaking up.) The som-bitch even went as far as to nut-stain both my sheets and my pillow and not bother to tell me. (No, I can't make this up. That's the truth.)

Also, I found out over the next couple months that Kat had also cheated on me with, that's right, my brother. (That's 6 for those of you keeping score.) And, he even went as far as to brong her over on my birthday and make me talk to her for a half hour again. (Man I hate both her and my brother at this point.) And, during this conversation, she let it slip that the guy she started dating after me had been nailing her for a month before we broke up. (That's 7, for those of you still keeping score.)

At this point, I knew that my brother had been lying to me the whole time, so I ended up forcing him to tell me a lot of things, but I still don't think he told me everything. Man, the things a guy will do for closure. I just want this sh*t over with. Hell, I even found out that she made a pass at my sister, who was happily married for 8 years with 2 kids before Kat came along. Thankfully, my sister's not interested.


The part that bothers me is that all went down about 2 years ago. I'd love to be able to approach a woman to try to start with someone else, but every time I get up to them, I all but swallow my tongue from fear. So, does anyone have any useful advice? As often as I've heard "suck it up," and advice of it's like, I can tell you that it doesn't work.

[AnotherShyGuy]

My advice to you would be to try and take your time. Don't jump into anything.. Just relax and enjoy your life. Maybe next time you find someone, make sure they aren't a stripper or something along those lines. Become friends before you try and jump into a relationship... That helps a lot. Get to know the person before you fall head over heals for them.

That is about all I can think of... Yeah, I doubt I am that much help, but eh... What can you do.

[Rawbob]

Well buddy, after reading the first sentence in your post, i really didn't need to hear the littany of sexual exploits of your former girlfriend - SHE IS A STRIPPER!

Now, i don't deny the right for anyone to make a buck. But, lets be honest, she's in an industry where showing off her body for the sexual entertainment of otherse (men and women) is waht she does for a living.

I am NOT calling her a slut. What I am saying is that you can't expect her to act in the same manner as a woman who works in a bank or office building. yes, some women who work in banks and office buildings can be promiscious, but let's be honest!

I'd chalk this one up to a learning experience and simply focus more on women who are looking for a long term relationship based on honesty and hopefully monogamy!

[demonbuttercup]

man thats a crazy story!!!
good post rawbob and i will say it.. she's a slut!
i mean from the time she answered the phone while you 2 were having sex for the first time (your first time) and talked for 20 minutes that should have been the sign this chick is all about herself.

like bob said...just take this as one of life's little lessons and go for chicks who are more down to earth and who are interested in you not your whole family. don't let her scare you away from the rest of the women in the world...we all aren't as selfish as she is.
good luck!

[Caitiff]

Well, I'll go you one better. She's not a slut. She's a ho.

Hell, I know for a certainty that I could have phoned Springer with that story when it happened, and gotten a free trip to Chicago out of it. But, to give you a better idea of my brother's strength of character, at the time, he was 23, and his girlfriend was 15.

[Tjdude]

boy, i can't agree more with Rawbob, after that first line, nothing was a surprise in your story.
Live and learn my friend