Casual sex getting serious

[lisahasapma]

I have a friend that I "hooked up" with about once a week for several months. Just did it, had a lot of fun, talked a bit and said good-bye. No relationship BS went on and we both liked it that way. It was so much fun! "A friend with a bonus" I think my friend part has changed to likeing him way more than I should. I vowed to never get in a relationship again, I thought this was the way to go! Then about three weeks ago, my feelings changed. Is it possible to have the best sex I have ever had with this guy and for us to not supposed to be together as boyfriend and girlfriend? The way he touches me, it's like he knows where to touch me and how. How he breaths on me, and in me. How I feel about my body now because he allows me to feel good. The catch he is dating someone else. "No" as he says, but I know different. I knew about her from the begining, but didn't care becasue I wasn't getting invovled with him anyway. All of a sudden, one day I get jealous of her. That's is not supposed to happen. I have no right to get jealous of her. Then I find myself thinking of him more and more, the way he smells, how his voice sounds, how much fun we have together. Other people have commented about how we are together. I'm told we are NOT just "f" buddies by the people that have seen us together. Well I told him today feelings were getting invovled. He is away on a trip in another state. He said when he got back we would talk. I told him I didn't want this to ruine our frinedship, but when the feelings get invovled, the sex might have to stop especially if I want more from him and he is with her. I don't feel stupid, or used, I'm an adult and I made a decision to have fun with him. I just don't want to stop the unbeleivable sex we have, but on the other hand I don't want anyone to end up hurt. I'm starting to like him more than I should. What do I do? Any suggestions?

[sexykitty]

My advice... don't ever get involved with a friend. The problem is that one of the people always ends up getting attached and the other is happy being "friends". What ends up happening in the end is that the friendship is ruined because of it.

I guess sometimes it can turn out good, and for your sake I hope that is your case.

[Rawbob]

Well..never say never! hahahha.
I belive that you have to be just as much FRIENDS as lovers! The key thing is to find out if he has the same feelings of romance as you. Yes, you played with a friend. Yes it was hot and fun and you were able to be "f*** buddies."

That said, it's also very normal for someone to develop emotional feelings when u are THAT intimate! So, he said he'd talk to you about it, and he may say he feels the same way, or that he's comfortable with the way it is. Oh, and for the record, thats called "having your cake and eating it too."

But, that all goes to the wayside if he's at least a bit honest about any feelings he has!

My advise! Talk it out! Be right upfront, don't be needy or jealous or pushy. You knew waht u were getting into, u just didn't think you'd get the emotional tie!

[hanksnow]

It's near impossible for a sexual relationship to be a "buddy" thing. Sooner or later, your hormones & pheromones interact, feelings deepen and it gets yucky.

I think the issue is how you two deal with the "relationship BS". Jealousy sucks but it's real. I agree that you need to talk to him about this. It can be a pain but it can also be an ego booster to hear that a woman wants you for her own. Maybe he keeps his distance because he thinks that's what you want. You'll never know until you ask.

[JCTX10980]

See I think you can have friends with benefits, its just that both of you have to realize that there are going to be feelings, and that most likely in the end someone going to get hurt. I mean its not the most emotionally healthy thing to do. When your intimate with someone, one person is always going to have more feelings than the other, so if if it is just an fb, someone is gonna get hurt. I have had the same fb, since I was 16 and some how its managed to workout, even in between both of our screwed up relationships with other people, so 7 years. I say its possible. We have had our issues and our problems. I feel kind of bad sometimes because I am usually the one that hurts her, but we talk about and she has told me how she feels and that ball is in her court, if she wants to stop, all she has to do is say something. So yeah, I agree with them though. The only way to deal with issues is to talk about it. Never hurts to ask.