About her history

[vagabondprince]

I've figured out what i need to know...thanks for the advice you guys, i just needed to think about my feelings for a second and i'm gonna live in the now..not in the past

[John_of_NZ]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (vagabondprince @ Oct. 20 2003,13:07)]I've been going out with a girl for two months now (it seems like so much longer because we live on the same floor in the same dorm, so i've spent almost every night [from an hour to the whole night] with her watching tv, talking or doing other activities * along with other stuff that requires going out).

Anyway, I've been learning about her past little by little, and as we were talking one night she brought up that she had had many one-night-stands before (it was shocking, but probably not as shocking as it seems it would be for me since i had mentioned something about another friend and one-night-stands). I couldn't stop thinking about this the next day as i was working. I didn't really know how i should feel about it.

The thing is, when i'm with this girl, I feel awesome...She has been able to affect me like no other so far by prodding me till i openned up and got to know her.

I just don't know how much I should let her sexual history affect how i feel about her. She has guaranteed me that the one-night-stands were just another part of her past and that if she wanted a "one-night-stand" now she had someone (me) to call. She has also expressed many times how much different this relationship is that we have. I am very confident that she would not be unfaithful to me any time soon. What my main concern is is how much should her history affect my feelings for/opinion of her???

&vagabondprince, It seems like I am in a similar situation to you! I have been going out with my girl for 2 months now and I really really like her! And one night she told me about her past, and it was hard to take! She has got with some guys at my school that I hate, and that really gets to me! and with lots and lots of others

And when she go's clubbing with her friends I worry that she will cheat on me, its a really hard thing for me to deal with but I have to! And I know she has changed from her past ways now, but it still gets to me! And Im not sure what else to think about it!

John_of_NZ

[?wiseman?]

vagabondprince, the only real affect that her history should have on you is her physical health. In this day and age both men and women are, more likely than not, going to have some number of sexual partners by your ages. If you intend to have a monogomous relationship, you should insist on both of you being tested for STDs. Your mind can usually accept prior sexual history, but you need to assure that you're not putting your physical health in jeapordy.

[mike]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ] What my main concern is is how much should her history affect my feelings for/opinion of her???

That is something that we cannot answer for you, since it all depends on how you view sex. If I were in your situation it would not be an easy decision either way, requiring a lot of thought, prayer, and talking with her before I could say for sure. For other people such as ?wiseman? said, the only concern would be whether or not she had a STD.

[Tjdude]

I agree with Mike, for some people those one-night-stands won't be a big deal, and for some other that would be a problem. It's up to you to decide if you can trust her, and only after knowing her a little bit more u can make a fair judgment. Maybe she was just passing thru some wild times but now they are over for good. Your best option IMHO is to talk to her about how you feel, and ask her if she honestly think that she can be in a serious realtionship with you or if she just want another o-n-s for the record.
c ya.

[sexykitty]

Men need to realize that many women "play the field" just like men do. Men don't like to hear it because they all want to think they are the first. Women, on the other hand, don't like to hear about the women that their partner had been in love with.

A woman's past doesn't have anything to do with her future. What people do when they are single should not be compared to being in a relationship. Basically, you have to decide if you can live with it. And, like wiseman said, make sure you have both been tested for STDs.

[hanksnow]

Drop her if it really bothers you. The doubts won't go away. Just remember that they're your doubts and not a reflection on her character.

Talk to her about it and try to understand it if you love her. You may find that her past affairs are not significant to her when stacked up against your situation with her.

There's a lot of good advice in the earlier posts. Sexykitty's right on when she says a person's past has nothing to do with their future.

[mike]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]A woman's past doesn't have anything to do with her future.

Someones past can be a very good indication of how they will react and handle things in the future- yes some people change, but let's be honest, it isn't that common. It is, however, far to complex to attempt to make generalizations.

[Tjdude]

I agree with mike again. The past is important and so is the present.

[sexykitty]

From what it sounds to me, it seems like you are saying that anyone who has had a one night stand will never be faithful to anyone. If that is the case, at least 3/4 of the male population should remain single. I don't agree with Mike and TJDude. I think that it is ok to have fun and experiment when you are single. It does not mean that when you are in a serious relationship that you will continue to see other people.

What's up with the "it's ok for guys but not for girls"?