Lacking confidence with girls

[richard114]

What it is I am nearly 20 years old and I have never had a girlfriend and I feel like the only 20 year old never to have, recently this has been getting me down. The problem is I am not very good around girls, I get very shy and never know what to say and I can not just go up to someone I don’t know. All the girls who I like have always been in class at school/college or friends of friends etc. Since changing jobs I left behind a lot of girls I liked but I don’t seem to be meeting new ones. What I want to know is how do I meet girls? I know it sounds really lame but as I have said I don’t have the confidence to just walk up to a girl and start talking to her (where would I start) and anything thing I am not one for going around the town drinking which is what everyone my age seems to do. I just feel so low at the moment as if I am never going to meet anyone :-(

[sexykitty]

Ever thought of trying online?

My brother was very shy as well and didn't have a girlfriend until he joined to service. He met his first and second girlfriends online and actually married the second one. They have been married quite a while now. My husband and I met online also. It works.

[richard114]

i tried online but it never worked out. actually tried again just the other week and worked ok, we arranged to meet but then her ex started to text her again and she decided she liked him

[Rawbob]

Don't give up! Online chat's a good way of learning hot to communicate.....and get past your initial shyness!

ALso, you should look into joining a club or to..if you like to hike or rock climb, or mountiain bike.....you need to find a hobby that allows you to meet women where u have things in coommon!

[lordroad]

Hey Richard, are you in college ? If so, I suggest joining some of the student organizations on campus ... ie. a movie club, music club, service fraternity, social fraternity (I'm a Sigma Nu), etc. This will do two things for you: one, you will not be feeling sorry for yourself and compounding the problem by always being alone, and two, you'll get to know people, and some of those people will be girls, and some of those girls will be single.

The most important thing is to expand your comfort zone... here's how I look at it. You don't necessarily completely stray away from your comfort zone, nor do you completely reside in it at all times : you expand your comfort zone to include new settings and situations.

Join some clubs, meet some people, hang out, and most important of all: Take it easy and relax! Don't get discouraged... I'm 22 right now, and the relationship I'm in right now is my first and it's great.

[?wiseman?]

Could not have said it better, lordroad. Nice advice.

[lunaknight]

Like lordroad said, join some clubs. *

List out your intrests, join clubs that correspond to those. *This way, you'll meet people sharing at least an intrest with you - a nice start.

If you want a pretty easy way to meet people (and you're willing to stretch yourself a bit):

A ballroom dance club is *always* tilted in ratio. *There are ALWAYS more girls than guys in these clubs (generally speaking). *I'm in one right now and there are ALWAYS girls without partners. *Even if you're a total klutz, join a beginner's class. *You can't tell me you'll get an easier chance to meet someone and (if you can manage) dance and talk with them for a bit at the same time. *Generally not a lot of guys do the classical dance thing and it's (generally) looked upon favourably. *Don't worry about being terrible at it. *Relax, have fun, follow instructions and you'll be fine.

There have been several "common" complaints though (from girls):

Don't:
- use the death grip
- push/pull forcefully
- step on toes if you can help it (accidents are understandable)

Do:
- be polite
- follow instructions
- have a sense of personal hygene

P.S. Don't be too discouraged. I'm 20 myself and I didn't meet my girlfriend until I was 19. Don't worry, if you're sincere and considerate, you'll meet someone. Guaranteed, the nice guys won't finish last.

[sweetiez]

just even saying "hi how are you today?" is a great way to start talking with a gurl another good topic is "what kind of music do youlike?movies? are you a shopper?cars?" many others!

[FlexXxKavana]

yo bro, i was the same way also. durin4 years of highskool i was madd scared 2 apporach 2 a girl, by college i was gettin notice because i started goin 2 the gym and changin my looks. it work i bag 10 girls last year betta than i did in Highskool. girls are funny sumtimes, i'm room Bronx, NY so0o0o girls like a tough, badass guy but also a pretty boy as well. rite now talkin 2 this fly girl from Yonkers, i still have a hard time talkin 2 her, i still need help. But just maybe u need 2 do a change join a gym and improve ur looks and just be yourself, try 2 make them laugh thats wat helps me. iight goodluck.

[Trendy Artist]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (richard114 @ Sep. 05 2003,02:50)]What it is I am nearly 20 years old and I have never had a girlfriend and I feel like the only 20 year old never to have, recently this has been getting me down. The problem is I am not very good around girls, I get very shy and never know what to say and I can not just go up to someone I don’t know. All the girls who I like have always been in class at school/college or friends of friends etc. Since changing jobs I left behind a lot of girls I liked but I don’t seem to be meeting new ones. What I want to know is how do I meet girls? I know it sounds really lame but as I have said I don’t have the confidence to just walk up to a girl and start talking to her (where would I start) and anything thing I am not one for going around the town drinking which is what everyone my age seems to do. I just feel so low at the moment as if I am never going to meet anyone :-(

First of all, don't try so hard. As a matter of fact, embrace being single, learn to appreciate it. That's some peoples' biggest problems, they constantly complain about being single that it looks unattractive.

I know you said you don't like to drink and stuff, but you ever consider night clubbing, becoming a night-crawler?

If you live in New York/New Jersey, Chicago, or Miami, then you're in luck. These cities have the best night club scenes in the country and if you reside in one of them then you're in luck. Maybe other cities have slamming night clubs too, I don't know for sure. But get your butt out to one regardless.

Night clubs aren't the best places to meet girls, go with the attitude that you're there to dance and have a good time. Who cares what other people think, and yes you'll get rejected while other while women dig you. I can write a whole essay about the wonders of night clubs. It's a real confidence builder, so go out and have a blast.