Sex On The First Date

[Shorty43]

Sex on the first date...bad idea?

I don't want to seem easy, but this relationship has been blooming for about 4 years now. We haven't seen each other in 2 years and have had no physical relationship before because of certain circumstances, never even a little kiss. Next week will be the first time in a very long time that I'll be seeing this guy, we talk all the time, we are on the phone at least 4 times a week.



(And for those who have seen my posts about breaking up with my boyfriend, no, this is not at all a rebound guy, he is one of the many the reasons for the split)

[nodoubt16pb]

Well.. you did what you did now it is up to you to see if either of you regret it... it is not a bad thing if you don't regret it... it is if that is all you do and that is only what your life is revolved around and your relationship is only revolved around that then yes you should... but if you know you really like her and you had a good time and you don't feel guilty about it or anything then no don't worry ... maybe you wanna also talk to her about her feelings towards it

[Shorty43]

I guess I should clarify some stuff, lol...

1. I haven't seen this guy in 2 years. We aren't going to see one another for at least another week.

2. I am female - I won't regret having sex on the first date. It is his image of me I'm more worried about because I really like this guy and don't want to come off as being easy. I've known him for 4 years, I know what he is about, I can tell when he is upset without even seeing him, he knows exactly how to make me smile...

[?wiseman?]

Shorty, you obviously have some kind of relationship with the guy, so it's not like he saw you on the street, took you to dinner and then to the bed. My guess is that he's wondering about the same things. A lot depends on what you guys have spoken about. Have your conversations possibly led him to believe that you are ready for an intimate relationship with him? Have yoiu left him with the impression that your bed is ready for him when he arrives? If so, it will make your situation more difficult. If not, go with the flow. You say you can read him well, so you'll know what his expectation is when you get together. If it doesn't feel right at the time, simply tell him that you want to go a bit slow for a few days and not rush it. If it feels right, you'll know what to do.

Best of luck-

[Rawbob]

Well..this is a tough one, since we're not privvey to all the behind the scenes things you have been going thru.

It sounds like, even tho you've not really "met" face to face, taht you DO interact ALOT on the phone and maybe the internet. I can tell you this, REAL LIFE IS FAR DIFFERENT FROM PHONE and INTERNET. There's something safe about holding the phone or typing on the keyboard and NOT having to look the other person in the face to get the full spectrum of reactions.

Also, you've moved ON in your life from your prior relationship, and no matter HOW long you've known this "friend" it WILL be a rebound. You are NOT allowing yourself time to be "independent" again - socially and sexually (maybe).

There really is not much more to say to you in terms of advice than GO SLOW! It sounds like yo'uve already decided you're ok with going to bed, and i'd bet you've had some heated sexual discussions about what will happen when you finally ARE together. So, just know you're jumping back into the "dating pool" and you're emotions are NOT functioning like they would if you were single for year and given yourself time to re-center on where you want to be in the future - both professionally, personaly and emotionally!

Good luck! GO SLOW!

[Anne15]

I would say to take it slow...I realize that you are very enthusiastic about it, but sex on the first date, in my opinion isn't a good idea. Not because of your image or anything , but just that with all the excitement a new relationship brings, you may not want to put everything into one big night. But I would say that you probably won't really be able to decide fully until the night comes around. Just have fun... If it feels completely right then do what you feel is best.

[sexykitty]

Some men would take sex on the first date as being "easy". I can't really give you advice without knowing him and what he wants and feels. If you guys have known eachother for a few years it makes a difference. It's not like you met some guy and wanted to sleep with him that same day. You guys have known eachother, so think about what you know of him. Also talking to him about it will help. Explain your fears to him and see what he has to say.

[Dirrty LiL Duckie]

I say go for it.. u have known him for 4 years!!!

ur not easy for having sex with him.. like wiseman said.. it's not some random guy u met on the street.