Advice on this relationship

[exle]

I feel a bit awkward posting this, but I am curious to hear the opinion's of those more experienced than I -

Approximately a month ago, I began seeing a girl; mainly, I had the intention of bringing her to Prom. *Eventually she convinced herself that she wanted to go (she is a rebel as I will soon reveal)... Prom was great, but as it came to a close we delved into her somewhat skewed past. *A bit more background: I am a fairly quiet, calm, and thoughtful person, while she is what I would describe as "bubbly", spur of the moment and full of energy. *What one may classify as "opposites". *Back to her past; I learned that she had/is involved in drugs (pot leading to ecstasy, mushrooms, acid, and possibly more), although I got the sense it was a monthly or perhaps bi-monthly event.

Moving on, after Prom we found a quiet spot to talk in my car. *We began to make-out, but since I am a first-timer, she slowed down and we began talking again. *She, in so many words, basically told me:

1.) "I like you so much, but I don't want to hurt you"
2.) "I'm 'nobody's girl'"
3.) "If we have sex tonight, there is a chance that I will end up having sex with someone else in the near future; of course I would tell you, but I cannot guarantee that I won't get on someone else"
4.) I asked how many guys she had sex with, and she told me "Four.". *Personally, that did not turn me on in the least, in fact it turned me off.

So basically I had concluded "screw this girl", I like her a whole lot but I really don't want to have anything to do with this BS. *We ended up talking for a few hours more, but I did not allow her to get in my pants. *Now, the next day, while deep in thought, I realized that I am only 16, herself only 17, and that it is not neccessarily healthy to be in a steady relationship; I should play the field and date various girls (mind you, not sexually playing the field). *Thus, I should not expect her to only date me, as it is inevitable that she will fall for someone else eventually, be in the day after Prom or six months from now. *

Anyway, back to my point; it is now roughly a month since Prom, and we are still dating and have become much closer. *She obviously likes me (or loves me, corny as it may sound), to a great extent. *The feeling is mutual. *Recently we began fooling around, never able to complete actual sex, but nonetheless into heavy foreplay. *Unfortunately, she wrote about what we did to a girlfriend of hers (her parents not being home, us naked in her bed etc etc). *Well, her mom ended up finding the letter; so, basically, now I don't want to show my face anywhere near her parents. *Since then, she seems to have backed off the relationship...

Today, she informed me that she had been at a party last Saturday, (a party she didnt tell me about *), though i wouldn't expect her to if it was just with her girlfriends) and that a "good friend from a long time ago" attempted to get on her but she rejected him. *Now, this was supposed to make me feel good, but ended up making me quite angry.

We talked at the movies tonight and all was well, though this is still eating at me:

Do the people of SexInfo101 believe I should continue this relationship or drop it now? *Does that party incident justify my anger? *I think there is more to it than she told me and its eating away at me. *

I suppose it is a trust issue; *she made me not trust her with what was said after Prom, although she has decided to try and change (stop drugs, change her wild conduct in general) and now "allows" me to call her my Girlfriend. *

What do ya'll think?

Sorry for the long and possibly, (or probably) boring post -

Thanks,

- exle -

[Shorty43]

I really wish I had some great advice for you, but I don't. This id one of those decisions you need to make. Personally, I think you are wasting your time, but then again I am honestly not one to talk. My boyfriend isn't exactly the perfect angel in the drug department, I don't like it, I don't do them, I hate the fact that he does, but I seem to stay with him.

If you are happy with this girl, have fun. But it seems like you don't really care about the relationship too much and are looking for an excuse to end it. Ask yourself if there is anything good about your girlfriend that outways the bad.

[Vixen916]

I agree with Shorty.. I am also somewhat lost why you are even with her?? At the beginnning of the paragraph all you do was talk about how wrong she is for you by her doing drugs and being sexually active.. so think about it.

If I was you I would be leary of anything the chic even says. You admitted to us that she is nobody's girl and "If we have sex tonight, there is a chance that I will end up having sex with someone else in the near future" so how the hell do you know she is even telling the truth about that night at the party?

Take a step back, forget about all the fu nyou have together sexually and think about where this is going. With her past and your unsettlingness with it, do you actually trust this girl and see yourself solidly in a trusting relationship with her?

[Teknics]

Ok first of all doing drugs doesn't make you a bad person. It fucks a few people up but I've seen plently of people that do drugs and are perfectly fine people to hang out with. Free spirit no doubt. :P And second, the girl herself. She seems like a girl who didn't know if she really liked you, and she's decided, and now she does. Like you said your only 16-17 so why not just say, "Screw it, I'm young let's screw around", and don't do anything you don't feel up too. That's all being a teen is. At least to me. :P PCE

Drew

[sexykitty]

If she's only 17 there's a chance that a lot of the stuff she told you on prom night isn't true, she may have just said it to interest you. *Some girls for some reason think that guys want to hear that kind of stuff. *But, unfortunately you are not one of those guys who does. *In past relationships that I have been in, the guys were able to joke with me about crazy things we had both done in the past, my current fiance does NOT want to know anything about any past relationships I have been in. *Still sometimes things slip, but because I know it bothers him I try really hard to keep it in the past. *Sounds like you need to have a talk with her and find out where she really is in your relationship. *If she hasn't cheated on you and is working hard to stay out of her previous lifestyle I would suggest you give your relationship a try, if that's what you really want. *People do change, and even though sometimes it's hard to believe that someone can do a 180 it happens all the time. *I think the major question you need to ask yourself is, can you deal with her past without it affecting the present? *Hope it helps.

[Tjdude]

You really have a problem there. IMHO you can't change people, people do change, but only if they want to, not because some one else can make them change in any way, you can try to be a positive influence on her life and try to alter that collision course she is in to, but at the end it will be up to her if she wants to change or not.
So, take the incident at the party as an oportunity to analize your feelings for her, what's realy bothering you? and why?, di you tell her about what is bothering you? is that relationship really worth the trouble?, maybe she just needs a reason to change, but ... would you like to be that reason?

c ya