Major Problem...

[LuvinVanessa4]

k i've been with my girlfriend about 11 months now and i have been very happy with her, but all of a sudden i have been going through a ton of issues and i have been upsetting her cuz i have been thinking stupid stuff. well its hard to explain but lately i mean just all of a sudden i start thinking theirs stuff about her that is wrong or i don't like or something like that and then i feel so guilty about the fact that i even thought of something like this when im supposed to be really happy with her and in love with her and no nothings wrong with her and i tell her what i thought was wrong even though i know that its not wrong with her. im really in love with my girlfriend and no matter what i know i love her and i wanna be with her, but for some dumb reason all of a sudden i start thinking stuff is wrong with her like thinking she's ugly, that her boobs are too small, thats she's too white, that i don't like how she's shaped, that her butts flat or just not right, and a bunch of other stuff too. ive never felt this way before when i have been with her so what all of a sudden would make me think this now, and what would stop me from telling her what im thinking cuz i know she's getting tired of hearing what i think is wrong with her when i really know nothings wrong with her in the first place, and what would make me feel that i don't wanna be with her anymore when i know i do wanna be with her, i know we haven't had sex yet and i told her that i would wait until she is ready to and i know she's ready to but im scared im gonna take her virginity not out of love but hornyness plus i feel like i can't wait to have sex any longer, she's 16 and im 20 so that could be a issue too but i don't wanna break up with her. alot of people think i might have a anxiety disorder and that im worrying about the stupidest stuff, but i know i love my girlfriend and i know i wanna be with her no matter what. i love her so much i would be nothing without her and i don't wanna lose her, so could someone please tell me what i could possibly do?

Thanks,
John

[Shorty43]

It is part of love. I think it is just a very usual phase that a person in a relationship goes through. If you know you love her, so what that you think these things sometimes. Plus, may I point out that nobody is perfect and maybe she is "too white" or maybe her butt isn't huge, but if you love the person inside does that really matter? Sure, maybe you have anxiety disorder, but everyone is very quick to jump to science these days for answers to their problems and medicine is not the answer to everything. From my perspective, you are acting pretty normally, you are trying to find reasons why you might be making a mistake and then looking at yourself and realizing how lucky you are and how much you love this girl. It is you performing a check on yourself. Everyone does it, and it doesn't only happen with relationships. Think about it, people are always asking why they have such and such job, but how often does that person devote their life to what they do because they love it?

[girlygirl]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (LuvinVanessa4 @ May 23 2003,19:40)]...ive never felt this way before when i have been with her so what all of a sudden would make me think this now, and what would stop me from telling her what im thinking cuz i know she's getting tired of hearing what i think is wrong with her when i really know nothings wrong with her in the first place...

The question is, why are you telling her these things in the first place? From this and other posts of yours it sounds like you have a problem with being too honest. Of course honesty is important in a relationship, but that doesn't mean you have to tell each other every thought and feeling that crosses your minds. I am not saying you should lie to her, but there are times when it is better to say nothing at all. You gain nothing from making complaints that you know will hurt her about things that you know she can't change.

[Hello]

gotta add my agreements about being too open here. id guess she doesnt really wanna know what u think is up with her, cause at the end of the day, she cant rfeally change them, if it were things like she flirts with other blokes too much, or doesnt make enough time to c u then they are good things to talk about and problems like that have to b sorted, but telling her bad stuff about her body and shit is like shredding her confidence, and remeber most teenage girls arent amazingly confident about their bodies anyway, they are always seeing slim sexy models with "perfect" boobs, and "perfect" arses, but i know that while my girl is not a supermodel, i love her to bits, and that doesnt just mean her mind, it means her everything, her body, her outlook on life, her demeanor towards others, everything about her i love, even if there are parts of her which are not of supermodel similarity, it doesnt mean those parts of her are wrong or bad, they are natural (which is often more than can b said for supermodels) and they please me, so what more can i ask for?

maybe yours never did, but i remember the times when my mum used to say, "if you havent got anythibng nice to say then dont say anything at all!" and this applies to all of life, if its something that can be changed,then dont voice a complaint about it, she doesnt need to know. if it is gonna seriously upset her and isnt necessary then DOJNT TELL HER. if its somethign can can b sorted then by all means communicate, and support each other to get it sorted, but dont complain and moan at her about things that piss u off, u havent been married 20 years yet, if ur gonna do that, save it until u have been married 20 years!

[chuli]

i agree with girlygirl and hello about u telling her to much.I think this is somthing that your going through inside yourself and this time sharing your feelings might not help neither of you. All that this will do is make her feel like shit. i dont think that this would be the best time for u two to have sex (in my opinion) because u want to make sure u appreciate her while u make love to her.
Have u considered taking a "break" from each other so u can take time to examen your self and mybe realize that u might really like all those things about her when your not with her. "You never know how much you really love someone (or somthing) untill there gone" so mybe a break is what u need?
i dont know how but u shouldn't do that now cuz you've prob. made her feel very insecure and and she might get the wrong impression (she might think youll want to leave her) so you will have to know when it will be ok to tell her u need a break(if thats what u want to do).
hope i helped