* A girl states: I am 16, 18, 20, 22 and he is 21, 24, 26, 30, or some other expansive age difference.
* A girl states: "but I love him...." **
+ We have so much in common
+ We spend hours on the telephone/texting
+ We have never met in person and it's been nearly two years
+ He wants to marry me
+ I've sent him nude pictures, do you think that's OK
+ He tells me what we'll do sexually when we first meet up
+ He wants me to travel to where he lives as soon as possible
[quote=EEK]You're 24 years old and have wasted a lot of time you should have spent learning. Please do not waste any more time searching for the entirely mythical "One". For how to meet men - there's a thread here on just that topic. [/quote]
[URL="http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/dating-new-relationships/29403-how-meet-..."]How to Meet Men
Our point being, that with such vast age differences, you are not only on different "pages" in life, you are in different "chapters" when it comes to life lessons and experiences. It requires time for the younger individual to acquire all this in order to become more or less on an equal footing with the older person.
** It is not enough that you are in love (lust?) with a total stranger. "Love" does not make everything A-OK. The problem with these vast age differences is that the older men have experienced more of life, have learned some important lessons that you have yet to grasp, learned to be on their own, have become an autonomous adults (meaning he has lived on his own, can take care of day to day obligations, plan ahead, and as important, has acquired a more realistic perspective of life than does the younger person.)
The teenage years are a decade long. The transformation from child to adult does not end with the end of puberty! The next stages of development are mental, emotional, and, psychological. As a major part of this is the fact that a person's brain is not fully developed until sometime during the 21st year! As part of a person's maturation is the experiential aspect: you should not jump straight from your bed to his without learning how to live on your own. This means, learning how to cook, clean, budget, save, and manage these tasks as well as others. This also means acquiring a perspective of yourself and your place in the world that comes from living alone (or with roommates), working, getting an education beyond high school, perhaps traveling (even if only weekend getaways), and, interacting with other people. In short, becoming both more responsible for yourself and potentially others, and, becoming more "worldly" as an individual.
When it comes to the latter, the best way is thru dating lots of different people. Dating should not begin and end with the first warm body who expresses an interest in us. Dating should be all about having fun, learning about other people and their ideas, goals, quirks, objectives, likes, dislikes, morals, values, interests, potential compatibility, etc., in order to help determine when Mr./Ms. Right comes along.
It is important to know and understand that there is more to being compatible with one another than just being in love--or worse, in love with the idea of being in love--as in some romance novel. During the days prior to computers, children began interacting with others by being "pen pals" with people in distant places. For me, this began in the 6th grade when I chose to correspond with a girl in Sydney, Australia. While in high school I corresponded with several boys around the country by audio tape. With the advent of computers, we can correspond electronically in different formats. For the past twenty years I've been "keyboard pals" with a man 600 miles away. (If you do the math, this began before the W)orld W)ide W)eb, when computers could be tied together via electronic "bulletin boards".)
Do I know him? Yes, yet only from what he tells me and thru our discussions of this, that, and, the other. Are we compatible? Only on this elementary level. During this time we have met in person four times when he and/or his family have passed thru Sacramento. Could we cohabit as roommates if single? Maybe yes, maybe no; ya just gotta spend a lot of time together, first and foremost, and keep your head out of the clouds, so to speak.
Bottom Line: If you wish to establish a friendship via the internet, keep it real. This means attempting to establish and nurturing albeit a casual friendship.
If you wish to establish a deeper more meaningful relationship then you should very much do so in person with someone within an hour's drive from you; otherwise what's the point? You have to be able to see and interact with each other on a regular basis in order to become more than total strangers. Who a person purports to be in writing or via a webcam can be vastly different than what comes across face-to-face and up close and personal, with ongoing touchy-feely get togethers. With the former, people tend to put up a false front, not to let their hair down; with the latter, letting one's hair down and being vulnerable and open is important when determining likes, dislikes, and, compatibility--then, just maybe, loving and later being in love.
SUGGESTED AGE SPANS FOR DATING
A Guideline Only[/CENTER]
24 21 [CENTER]Initial compatibility with regard to life experiences[/CENTER]
Reading about love in some romance novel is great entertainment and a diversion, but when it comes to real life, girls, ya just gotta get real.
[CENTER]Successful relationships form when two people, each with a past,
join forces in order to enjoy a future greater than the sum of its two parts.[/CENTER]
Thought for the day: In order to become lucky in love, you have to prepare. The definition of "luck" is when opportunity meets preparedness. Please do not rely on things just falling into place on their own, hoping all will work out in the end. Relationships require work and cooperation, and are best accomplished hand-in-hand; you cannot do this very well with a long distance relationship in which the two of you have yet to meet and having spent lots of time together. This is difficult as it is for well established couples separated by war, employment, or other circumstances.
Part One of this essay:
DATING--Rules: how to and how not to
[URL="http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/dating-new-relationships/29403-how-meet-..."]How to Meet Men[CENTER][/CENTER]
[URL="http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/dating-new-relationships/30186-finding-p..."]FINDING A PERSON TO DATE: Where are the men? Where are the women?