Unless you're in a serious long term relationship then just see the pill as you doing your bit the condom is him doing his bit not as an either or choice. Neither is 100% protection but the odd time without condoms is not at such a high risk if you're on the pill.

If this is not an exclusive relationship where both parties have been tested for STD's; I'd tell him no. You use the pill & he uses condoms. Why? Who knows what the other might potentially have.

As far a "pulling out", that baffles me. Perhaps he is looking for a visual effect or somehow thinks he is protecting his sperm? Any contact with vaginal fluids can lead to disease or pregnancy. Using the pill alone still leaves for margin of errors and risk for disease.

The site of ejaculation? Most often he will plan being somewhere on you. I think you both need to talk and get on the same page here.

It would be on you. However most men have little control to where they actually exit before ejaculating. But pregnancy prevention isn't the point of wearing a condom. Condoms are to prevent transmission of disease and for sharing the burden of safe sex.

Not using a condom is NOT an option

Everyone seems to be on the right track here. Condoms are not just for pregnancy prevention! Make him wear one everytime for your safety and his.

YUP! Your questions have been answered very well, above. It is foolish to rely upon one method of contraception alone. Sex is a partnership and both of you need to take care of Number One. If you are unprepared to be an unwed mother and to have the future course of your live forever changed, then you need to use the pill, as you are, or some other highly reliable form of contraception. Same goes for the guy. If he is unprepared to be an unwed father and to contribute and commit to raising a child and to have the future course of his life changed forever, then he needs to be using a condom all the time. No method of contraception is 100% effective.

Birth Control Failure Rates

As for pulling out as a way of preventing a possible pregnancy, this is just wishful thinking. Sperm can be mixed in with precum, so any time he is leaking from before he is aroused enough to become erect to the moment of ejaculation, sperm can be there to mix with a woman's vaginal fluid--and that spells "possible".

As for where a guy's semen lands when outside, that all depends. I agree, he usually does have very little control over the actual landing site; however, he can often select a given area like your breast, chest, pubic area, etc. It depends somewhat on whether he continues to stroke and thus have his penis wiggling around up the the point of ejaculation or whether he stops a moment before and has time to point before shooting.

I believe the two of you need to talk as mentioned, yet more to the point, I believe the two of you need much more information.

Pregnancy is always and issue domie...even with birth control you have a chance. Like brandye once said you would have to take them at pretty much the same time every day and never forget or take anything that would counteract them in order to get a perfect use....

When a guy pulls out generally he will come wherever it lands. doc is right generally breast, chest or pubic area. If he cums inside you though be prepared of the drips. Its where the semen leaks out of the vagina while laying, sitting, or stading up.

> My question was even if im on the pill, do men stil lalways finish inside the girl as thats my concern...that it will be messy. if a man pulls out right before cumming, where does it usually go?? like if we were outside would he jst let it go on the floor...and if we were in bed would he just do it into a tissue or does it not work like that lol?? and would it just happen automatically or would he need stumulation again after pulling out, in order to cum? sorry, im just confused as to whether this ever happens or if the guy just cums inside the girl.

I missed this paragraph.

If you are on the pill, there is little reason other than variety to what you've been doing not to ejaculate inside the vagina. That's pretty much the whole point.

> that it will be messy. if a man pulls out right before cumming, where does it usually go?? like if we were outside would he jst let it go on the floor...and if we were in bed would he just do it into a tissue or does it not work like that lol??

Sure, it can be any or all of the above scenarios.

> and would it just happen automatically or would he need stumulation again after pulling out, in order to cum?

Please understand that like you, a guy also requires stimulation right up to the point of ejaculation. It can also feel extremely good to continue the stimulation for a couple of seconds after, also. Once in a while he can coast beyond the point of no return, meaning that if all stimulation stops a second or two before reaching the trigger point, the "momentum" will carry him past this point and he will ejaculate. While this can happen, usually the orgasmic feeling is less intense.

So, whether, inside or outside, stimulation usually does continue right up to the shot being fired.

> sorry, im just confused as to whether this ever happens or if the guy just cums inside the girl.

I hope this answers your question. If not, please elaborate. Please feel free to ask about anything else as it comes to mind. In the meantime, if you haven't read the articles listed in the Index, please do. Knowledge is empowering.

Many of us feel more complete, and certainly more satisfied, when ejaculation takes place in our vaginas. That is the point of any borth control. Given your clarifying post, you simply have sex and wipe the results off your bottom. You will get used to the drainage.

Believe you? Why should we? You're being ACCOMODATING and letting him off the hook re: condom usage. This means you're willing to trade in your body, your future, and perhaps your very life for his 'feelings'. Ya doormat!

My then husband told me STD's were not an issue. Lucky me...only she (the g/f) & he got them!

Sorta off the main topic a bit, what if say your girlfriend goes on the pill, you both are STD free and only been with each other, and you decide not to go with the condom? Is the feeling of no condom really worth it? I've never felt with no condom because we always use to be safe, but I was just wondering. I use the durex extra sensative condoms which are those micro thin ones, not sure if it is the best stimulation or not since it is the only one I have tried =p.

Yes, there is a difference but face it - you get off "scot free" while she's messing up her hormones?

What kind of a man are you that you let her take those risks while you take none???

My girl friend and I, like many, have followed the stupid, but oh so pleasurable path of onanism, or pulling out.

It's very tempting, and easy to do, but don't do it.

Yeah, it's hypocrisy, the world's made of the stuff.

If she is considering the birth control pills, research as much as you can, talk to other people, and weigh out the pros and cons. Also, both of you must get checked for STDs.

If you aren't ready to do those things, then she's not ready to start it, and you're definitely not ready to reap the benefits.

Where does the cum go? Well he finishes in your vagina, as Brandye said, it will leak out. Which can be messy and very annoying, as it takes a while for all of the cum to leak out and it will end up on your underwear or the sheets. If he cums elsewhere? Breasts, butt, and stomach are some common areas of the body for him to cum on. The other most popular is the face or mouth. Without a condom, having him cum in your mouth is the least messy option for the cum. Of course, he could always keep tissues or towels handy and ejaculate into those. Or you can finish with a handjob and wipe the cum away however you normally would in that situation. The simple answer is, without a condom, sex is messy!

Also, I am kind of confused as to why everyone is treating the original poster like a child and continually warning about condom usage. It seems to me like she understands the risks and is making an informed decision after weighing her options. If that is her choice, why can't anyone just address the actual question instead of lecturing? I understand the risk of STDs, but many post in similar situations and don't get any flack for it.

I agree with brownie. **** condoms!

[quote=browneyedgirl;208201]
Also, I am kind of confused as to why everyone is treating the original poster like a child and continually warning about condom usage. It seems to me like she understands the risks and is making an informed decision after weighing her options. If that is her choice, why can't anyone just address the actual question instead of lecturing? I understand the risk of STDs, but many post in similar situations and don't get any flack for it.[/quote]

This person appears to be new to sex...why lecture? Treat a few women for severe PID and you would see why. The risks? Are awful & detrimental to fertility over a long period of time. If I had a quarter for every person who thought they were in monogamous relationships & ended up with a STD---I'd be rich. The emphasis cannot be paced heavily enough on protection of ones self. Even married people end up with them b/c they trust their spouse. If one chooses to skip them? They need to understand the assumption of risks. Watch people w/HIV? That is enough in it's self to warn. Just think how you would feel sitting in the gyn office or ER being told you have one.

I think this is a good checklist when deciding to go bareback. All answers should be yes if you choose to ditch the condom.

Do you trust your partner beyond a doubt?
Are you mentally and financially capable to raise a child if one partner gets pregnant?
Will both partners stick around to raise the child if so?
Are you on another form of birth control and are willing to have faith in it?
Have you both been tested, and its come out negative?
Is it worth the risk of pregnancy and STD's for a bit more stimulation?
Are you prepared to clean up afterward?

and most importantly:

Are you emotionally prepared for the consequences, and are you making your OWN decision, not just following your partners?

Lol EEK, I didnt mean I was going to not use condoms, I was just asking what is the stimulation like, if say we did switch to pill alone. Sorta a view of what will come later once we are comfortable with the chance of a baby. As much as I know the responsibility and action to be taken is on both parties, there is still the factor that some couples like the feeling and just going with the pill alone. Personally in my case we arent doing the pill because of the health risks right now, we dont have sex daily as if we were living together so the pill will be something we face later on. Right now I am the one who does the protection job, and it works well for us. I dont expect or want to risk harm to her by saying "do your part, get on the pill."

Obviously none of you have "got it"

There are sexually transmitted diseases that are NOT routinely tested for when you go in and ask to be tested. Everyone here is thinking Herpes, Syph, and gonnoreha. That is what you'll be tested for when you go in for your tests. What you have to ask for in addition to that is Hepatitus C, HPV and yes you have to ask to be tested for HIV/AIDS separately from everything else. I would know because, even with condom usage, I get tested every October. It takes 7 vials of blood and a month for all the results to come back. Yes, I have to ask that I be tested for everything that can be sexually tranmitted. That's why I have give them all that blood.

Remember some do not throw symptoms, esp in women, until very late in life. So there is no way to know if you have them. It only takes once. I was warned by a doctor during my routine physical just this past October to get the Hepatitus C test because I was in the hospital back in 1968 and had been given blood then, since I had lost so much - gruesome story - you don't need to know. I hadn't even heard about Hepatitus C before last October and I have been getting STD tested each year for the past decade.

That was 40 years ago, people. Just think of how many people I could have given Hepatitus C to without even knowing it in 40 years if I had NOT used condoms religiously! And how many my condom-less partners could have given it to - just because they didn't want to wear one and I let them.

There is no cure for Hepatitus C and it gradually kills off your liver - dead by age 55 to 60 if no transplant.

Browneyed, CW, et al - THAT'S why we're giving her "both barrels" here. There is an excellent chance that neither her nor her prospective condom-less partner has been tested for EVERYTHING that can be sexually transmitted. They are most likely just assuming they're both clean because they're both young, have had very few partners, and such testing is expensive and time-consuming.

BTW I do have other stories if you require further convincing. Two friends who had their own close calls and one not-at-all-close acquaintance who will never be permitted within 10 feet of me because he has herpes and so does his wife.

[quote=EvilEvilKitten;208226]OBviously none of you have "got it"

There are sexually transmitted diseases that are NOT routinely tested for when you go in and ask to be tested. Everyone here is thinking Herpes, Syph, and gonnoreha. That is what you'll be tested for when you go in for your tests. What you have to ask for in addition to that is Hepatitus C, HPV and yes you have to ask to be tested for HIV/AIDS separately from everything else. I would know because, even with condom usage, I get tested every October. It takes 7 vials of blood and a month for all the results to come back. Yes, I have to ask that I be tested for everything that can be sexually tranmitted. That's why I have give them all that blood.

Remember some do not throw symptoms, esp in women, until very late in life. So there is no way to know if you have them. It only takes once. I was warned by a doctor during my routine physical to get the Hepatitis C test because I was in the hospital back in 1968 and had been given blood then, since I had lost so much - gruesome story - you don't need to know.

That was 40 years ago, people. Just think of how many people I could have given Hepatitus C to without even knowing it in 40 years if I had NOT used condoms religiously! And how many my condom-less partners could have given it to - just because they didn't want to wear one and I let him.

There is no cure for Hepatitus C and it gradually kills off your liver - dead by age 55 to 60 if no transplant.

Browneyed, CW, et al - THAT'S why we're giving her "both barrels" here.
BTW I do have other stories if you require further convincing. Two friends who had their own close calls and one not-at-all-close acquaintance who will never be permitted within 10 feet of me.[/quote]

Hep C is rampant in Health care workers for an "unknown reason" hence the need for routine testing. Time to turn seropositive form HIV is not immediate. People miss this many times. Routine screening needs to be accurate & frequently. I was stuck from an infected patients needle in 1988...yes, I test annually and after any exposures (such as when my ex left)...these are not just matter of fact items! Condoms can be your best friend. Skip one...the assumption of the risk can be your life & this is real.

Remember - No Glove, No Love...:D

[quote=Thresher_V;208231]Remember - No Glove, No Love...:D[/quote]Used to have a poster on the wall at work..."Wrap your Rascal"...:D

OP - if your feeling very adventurous and don't want to make a mess you can have him finish in your mouth, and then swallow the evidence. My ex and I used this method quite frequently when we would have our random spur of the moment quickies.

[QUOTE=domie;208076]That wasnt what i was asking at all!! pregnancy is NOT an issue...i am well aware of the risks, i will take my pill and never forget, come easter i WILL be in a relationship with him, (im at uni at the moment so we are not getting into the whole relationship thing while im stil away). beleive me if it werent exclusive, i wouldnt have sex without a condom, STDs wont be a risk, i wouldnt have sex without one until i knew he wasnt diseased (and me for that matter) and im willing to risk the like 1% risk of pregnancy from the pill.

My question was even if im on the pill, do men stil lalways finish inside the girl as thats my concern...that it will be messy. if a man pulls out right before cumming, where does it usually go?? like if we were outside would he jst let it go on the floor...and if we were in bed would he just do it into a tissue or does it not work like that lol?? and would it just happen automatically or would he need stumulation again after pulling out, in order to cum? sorry, im just confused as to whether this ever happens or if the guy just cums inside the girl.[/QUOTE]

if he cums inside you (which is perfectly natural not an "option") most will probably run back out especially if you get up so have tissues at hand if your out in the woods and you don't want it in you well he does it on the floor or tissue in bed well a tissue preferably it seems you have an issue with the "mess" which a condom would catch if anything it can be less hassle