so my girl and i have been together for a while and have recently started having sex, we were both virgins, and have only done it a couple times
both times was only for about 10 minutes, but we did the same position the whole time both times
my friend said him and his girl did it for an hour the first time they had sex, and about that everytime, if not more, but i cant help but cum after that long
what can i do?
is this normal?
Are you using a good lubricant?
If you are not, you may want to consider it. The lubricant will reduce friction and you may last longer before ejaculating.
Worth a try.
Other than that, try varying the speed and length of your stroke. When you establish a rythm, stop every 4th or 5th stroke and pause with you penis inside the vagina. If you feel an orgasm coming on and definately want to prolong it, suggest to your partner that you change posistions or that you'd like to add more lube. The momentary break may help you to last longer.
> is this normal?
NO.
It is a common misconception made by a lot of young men new to the art of love that the stroking done in coitus is primarily intended to build sexual excitement to the brink of an orgasm and if it takes 20, 30, 40, 50, 60+ minutes so be it.
WRONG.
This is why couples traditionally begin a romantic journey hours before with a hint or suggestion to a mate by word, note, or deed, of what is hoped for later that day. Based in tradition, for this example, we begin the stuff of romance with kisses, progress to "necking" move on to "petting", then "heavy petting" and ultimately "foreplay"--terms popularized no doubt after the Sexual Revolution of the 1960s. It is the latter part of making love that peaks our arousal and sexual tension and expectations. The act of intercourse is the ultimate expression of a couple's love for each other. The stroking brings the man to the very brink of an orgasm. Stroking is not a substitute for all the fondling and other caresses that go on before. Herein lies the young couple's error in technique.
If you ask, many women will tell you that about ten minutes of intercourse is about maximum before she becomes tired, bored, and, sore.
> what can i do?
If a man reaches the brink of an orgasm within about a minute, or, upon entering the vagina, initial return stroke, or within the first few, then this is what is known as "Premature Ejaculation". If stroking lasts beyond this then and unplanned ejaculation within the first several minutes is simply untimely. Fortunately, the fix for both "oops'" are the same. The Squeeze Technique that Brandye suggests as well as the exercise I tout both stave off an approaching orgasm.
I completely disagree.
For example, ever try shifting position when an orgasm is about to happen? Let me be the first to tell you that moving the penis ever so slightly when at the brink will stimulate the nerves in the root structure of the penis and trigger the orgasm. Not a good idea.
Yes, a lubricant will reduce friction, however, in so doing it greatly intensifies the resulting sensations generated by the stroking action.
When a guy senses or feels an orgasm coming on it is generally too late to stop it. At this point along the arousal curve you are simply going to coast past the trigger point and BAM. If you really want to put the brakes on a climax at this point, pull out and immediately use the squeeze technique!
I will go along with your suggestion to pause, although not for the reasons given. Just pause, that's all, until the sense of urgency subsides.
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