No...one time I came home from work early to surprise [my first husband]; I had a surprise. He was dressed in my night gown/lingerie and in our bed was his boyfriend, it was quite tight on him.

This was a point he forgot to mention before marriage; therefore, I see no turn on since.

WOW.............a simple and short............WOW
Was that the end of the marriage then and there or did you try to "work"
with him on his indiscretions??

[quote=constantlylearning;222560]WOW.............a simple and short............WOW
Was that the end of the marriage then and there or did you try to "work"
with him on his indiscretions??[/quote] The marriage ended at that time; he moved into another room until he figured out what/where he was going. Nothing to work out; admittedly, his emotional attachment to his b/f was much stronger than to his wife. During the time we were dating & engaged they had been on the outs & his b/f lived in another state. Once we married, within a few months, he moved back. I would have been nice to have shared this with me prior to our dating much less the marriage. I knew nothing.

He moved in w/his b/f & they bought a house & I sold ours. I found out over the years, he has remarried a few times, each failed, his boyfriend is still living next door to him. He is not happy in either world, I still run into him/them. All is okay & we do get along; it's been about 23 years or so. We were only living "married" together for about 6 months & filed for a separation agreement. Now, both of his parents are no longer alive, he is more open about his life. He was the only child of parents who refused to accept his alternative lifestyle.

CL did say it best wow......a simple and short......wow. I'm sorry to hear that he has not found happiness. I don't get that living next door to each other, was this during the other marriages? I hope he finds that he is who he is and he needs to live happy, and for himself.

sera, i am so sorry to hear of that.
Rowan, i don't know if other women feel that way or not, i am really hoping my wife will though i have a post over in the Marraige / long term relationships area titled: I am just afraid of it being “The Last Straw” if you could read it and give me some pointers i would be very greatful!

After he moved out of the house our house, he bought another. This is where his boyfriend moved next door. They are still neighbors & have matching cars throughout his marriages & his b/f's one attempt which failed quick.

I doubt he will be truly happy since he cannot find sexual satisfaction with one gender or the other. This was how it was explained to me by a few friends of mine. Don't know but do see the revolving door of visitors; g/f, wives, b/f's, and his long term b/f. I would think after one failed attempt at marriage he would just quit. And I know one of the women he married; I know she was not accepting of the lifestyle. I also found out from "calls" about his ongoing interludes; so he was with his b/f and meeting up with guys at a local park to where he was living. One thing I have noticed; he has taken up drinking. Ran into him a few months ago out.

After the marriage terminated, the feelings settled from anger; we spoke. He did apologize for some of the matters which happened & always said he would be there if I needed him, as a friend. And he has. We do get along & I have no doubt that he did love me--just not the way I needed. Why do I talk about this here? So others see the need to be honest & truthful. Perhaps it can help them in some way.

So, my man dressing up [even for Halloween] I cannot find hot...Sorry Rowan!

That would not have gone over well in the locker room that I can assure you.
PERIOD. The dressing that is...........

[quote=constantlylearning;222606]That would not have gone over well in the locker room that I can assure you.
PERIOD. The dressing that is...........[/quote] No it did not, why he hid it. He was also a Cop...yes, I married two cops.

Why the deception?????????????????? It can only end badly.........the truth
always finds it's way to the surface eventually. People do not deserve to be
hurt for someone's lack of honesty with themselves......THINK ABOUT IT.

Sports locker room here not another sort...........YIKES.

[quote=constantlylearning;222609]Why the deception?????????????????? It can only end badly.........the truth
always finds it's way to the surface eventually. People do not deserve to be
hurt for someone's lack of honesty with themselves......THINK ABOUT IT.[/quote] His parents saw one way...live the typical life & you [meaning him]will adjust. I believe he thinks at times and did when he married me he could be in a strictly heterosexual relationship. Once married, he felt trapped and acted on his attraction. His long term b/f has not exactly had a "perfect life" with him either.