The techniques you've mentioned are generally considered to be foreplay (ie beFORE penetrative sex). They help arouse both partners. Most (but not all) women will orgasm through manual/oral stimulation at this point, and it makes the body even more sensitive. Fewer women can orgasm through penetrative sex, although a good dose of foreplay makes this more likely!

On a personal note- I don't like receiving oral sex after he has cum, as by that time it's a bit sweaty down there, and so I doubt it's the sweetest smelling it could be!

"Ladies First!" or at least if you want a second date with me!

Please see the sticky post entitled The Program under Married and Long-Term Relationships

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. Please begin by reading the Posting Guidelines and the Index found at the top of the main screen in the Board Forums section.

It looks like you have already done some reading on the site, great! The Index contains many how-to articles including The Program mentioned by EEK. I recommend that you and your girlfriend read through the relevant articles. There is much information to glean and acquire.

[QUOTE=kdubs;202662]hey i'm new to the board and it looks like there's some solid information on here. my girlfriend's coming home for christmas break on wednesday and i'd like to surprise her with something new.

we've only been having sex for a couple months and at relatively long intervals since we both go to different schools. although i think she's had an orgasm before through masturbation (her and her friends are real open about that stuff),

[COLOR="Navy">Unlike boys, girls either do not masturbate at all, or if they do, begin later and with much more of a concerted effort. It is important that they learn early, and, do it regularly and consistently in order to fully enjoy sex later and with greater ease. That said, Brandye states in one article that orgasms are not essential to a woman's pleasure, so please understand that while it is a guy thing to try and help her have one or more, what is really the important issue is that there is intimacy and an emotional connection.[/COLOR]

she was a virgin before we started dating. i wasn't and i feel like i should be the one leading the whole thing.

[COLOR="Navy">Making love as with the the entire relationship is a partnership in which the two individuals contribute. I like your choice of the word "leading". Very often guys get it into their head that in being male means that they be "boss". Wrong. We guide with the cooperation and input of our partner. So, while you may lead much or most of the time, she can also take the initiative from time to time. Variety is spice. By letting her take the lead from time to time means that she has the ability to show you how much she admires, believes in, and values your relationship.[/COLOR]

i don't think i've ever given a girl an O, but before this girl i've generally been too.... ahem.... inebriated to really try.

[COLOR="Navy">Two things:
T#1. Dry up. Sex and alcohol do not mix. Alcohol and a relationship do not mix.
T#2. We do not give orgasms away. Each person is responsible for his/her own. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve theirs.[/COLOR]

so bottom line here, i really like this girl (throwing the L word around in my head) and i want her to enjoy sex just as much as i do. i'm going to try some of the fingering techniques on this board and would love to try and go down on her. but here's the problem.

last time i tried to go down on her we had just finished having sex and as i moved down she said it was weird. not sure if she meant the oral was weird or trying it right after sex. so here's my question: is it better to get the girl off before sex or afterwards? i always just figured that if i fingered/cullilingus-ed her well enough she wouldn't want to do much else after that, so it'd be better to get hers done after.

[COLOR="Navy">Good thinking, that. Nice try, but totally backward, placing the proverbial cart before the horse. [/COLOR]

so would it be better for me to get her off before or after sex?

[COLOR="Navy">BEFORE! As explained, very few sexual positions place her pieces-parts in close constant contact with your body sufficient to generate the required friction required to build and trigger a climax. What a knowledgeable, skilled, caring, compassionate lover will do is to reach around and finger her while stroking away. A typical woman can enjoy many more orgasms than the male of the species, and, in a shorter time frame. The average guy (depending upon age, drive, and, "wiring") requires between ten and thirty minutes before being able to have another orgasm. While we may be limited to three or four, a woman can have many more and within moments of the previous.

Help her to enjoy as many as she desires before intercourse, help her to have at least one during if possible, and as many after as she wishes. Do not be disappointed if she does not climax during intercourse, or at other times once in a while; be happy with the outcome of the entire love making session as a whole however it turns out.

In addition to EEK's recommended reading, I suggest the two of you (or at least YOU) begin by reading her other excellent and informative article: [/COLOR]
Body Worship How-To by EEK

[COLOR="Navy">Next, go back up to the top of the Index and work your way down the list of articles. As you go, or after reading them, if you have additional questions, please feel free to ask.[/COLOR] [/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=kdubs;202662]last time i tried to go down on her we had just finished having sex and as i moved down she said it was weird. not sure if she meant the oral was weird or trying it right after sex.[/QUOTE]

Maybe she wierded out at the thought that you going down on her immediatly after sex was a way for you to get to 'taste yourself' as well.

There are a couple reasons why...I mean it could just be that you did help her avhieve an orgasm, and she was out of the mood because of it (I know a few females who finish and are over being please or having their vlit or vagina first.

She may have found the thought of oral sex to be weird (I mean it being the first time and especially since she sounds new to this all.)

Or like rat said...tasting yourself...

The best advice, you can use oral to get her off...but why not use it as a way of getting her turned on...to the point that she is begging for you to be inside her...at that point her orgasm isnt usuall too far behind.

And even if she doesnt cum, she will more than likely love it all and want it all again ;)