Hi I have been trying some stuff with a vibrator and with my fingers and really it just feels weird... From when i was a kid i'd just play with my nibbles and squeeze my legs together... nothing more, and i dont think that really counts as masturbation nor do i think what i feel is an orgasm so i wanted to try to figure out my body and actually experience an orgasm but nothing new feels right... just the nipple stimulation... i mean it feels like there is nothing going on 'down there' when i touch, rub or vibrate on it... and penetration feels like a weird tampon experience... so what am i doing wrong? or whats wrong with me?
Fri, 06/15/2012 - 07:53
#1
Could it be that i just dont like masturbation?
Hi!
I'm sure you'll get plenty of "it's all mental" type replies, so I'll go first I guess. :)
Making the leap from sensations feeling "like sex" versus "like day to day" is very much jn your mind. For example I could hold and touch my penis all day if I were in medical looking-things-over mode, but once my mind switches to pleasure mode then things really take off. To me in my non-medical mind I think it's because your mind "knows" what's going on. Like how you can scratch your feet just fine, but somebody else does it and it tickles.
The key for me as a guy is fantasy. I har to very much lose myself in as detailed of a fantasy as I can muster. My mind has to be so into it for it to switch modes. Usually any distraction from this will snap me back to reality and I'm starting over at that point.
There are plenty of good threads and articles on this site dealing with exactly what you're going through. And no you're definitely not alone or weird. My wife was very much the same way. She only has masturbated a handful of times (no pun intended). She just didn't have the drive to do it.
Take care!
Here is an article also listed in the Index found near the top of the main screen.
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/women-only-help-why-cant-he-make-me-orgasm
For Women Only- Help! Why Can't He Make Me Orgasm?
(I have not figured out how to imbed the URL with the title with our new software, so just highlight the link and place it in your browser.)
The article will give you some steps to follow that should lead you to become an orgasmic woman. Note tho that not every woman can achieve orgasms; some small percentage cannot yet do not find sex and intercourse any less enjoyable. Brandye, our resident M.D. has written about this at length.
-doc
Every woman is different so I'm just going to tell you what helped me sometimes. Read a sexy story or watch a dirty video. Whatever revs your engine. Get yourself really worked up over a fantasy. Listen to your b and what feels good, you don't have to rush to your genitals.... Let your horniness guide you...
stop trying so hard. If you're not relaxed, you're killing the orgasm before it even begins. I have written several times on this subject but will repeat it here. In order to orgasm you have to be both relaxed and aroused. Difficult one might think but it is possible. Make yourself comfortable then imagine yourself naked, lying on a raft on the ocean beyond the breakers. The sun is hot but there's a light breeze so you're warm but comfortable. Just lying there feeling the swells rolling along beneath your raft. The swells (orgasms) build, roll under the raft and then ebb away. One after another after another. Let them move through you and don't worry if they "feel weird" etc just enjoy what comes.
Evil gives the best advice - relax.
My first orgasm, at age 13, resulted from rocking on a fresh menstrual pad in a "saddle" like seat. I had no idea it was coming but simply found it to feel good. I was baby sitting and there were two small boys present watching mwe ride one of their toys. For half a year or so I had been playing with myself with no real idea what I was doing. When it happened I had no expectations and was not specifically focused on orgasm.