I don't know if anyone has read this article (not a med paper but a survey and short paper) about the correlation between anal sex and deep throating. If you have, or happen to have the link would you be able to post it for me. I'm doing a paper on the "dirty" aspects of sex for a class I am taking. Everyone in the class has such an absurd view on sex that I really want to set fire to the hive and watch the bees go crazy. Call me wicked but I think when your taking a class to learn about human sexuality, and your considered a perv because you are liberal in bed (dominate, talk dirty, enjoy 69ing, basically willing to try anything) your just asking to be trolled.
If anyoe isn't sure what I'm talking about, the article basically surveyed women and asked if they could deep throat, if they enjoyed it and if the engaged in anal sex and if they enjoyed it.
The breakdown was something like this:
woman who engaged in anal sex could deep throat (save 1 or 2 women)
Women who enjoyed giving fellatio (and deep throating) enjoyed anal sex to the point of satisfaction (not necessarily orgasm but they actually enjoyed quickies in the back rather than the front....pun intended:p)
Most of the woman who hated anal only gave head because their partner asked (didn't like it, or only gave head because they liked turning on there partner).
There was also 1 specification about the woman who enjoyed anal and giving head. Their enjoyment from giving oral was based on them (not their partners reaction) they enjoyed the sensations of giving. Feelings taste etc. Even up to the point that they enjoyed being "face ****ed".
I forget how many women they surveyed but so far the only girl I know who loved the thought of being gagged or deepthroating enjoyed anal. The other girl who could deep throat didn't mind anal but didn't love it to the point of satisfaction. It was interesting but that's it. All the other girls who enjoy giving head because it turns on the partner (I.e. 90% of my partners) thought anal was no bueno. And the ones who hated giving head absolutely hated even the idea of anal.
Ducy, perhaps you should ask your teacher to give a definition of "harmful", give further explanation on why she classifies these items as such AND articles on research that prove this assumption. Come to think of it; such questions also provide for some nice discussion in the classroom. Or is she one of those teachers that doesn't like it when her students "suddenly" start to think for themselves and share opinions? :rolleyes:
Personally; I have been a pain in the ass of some teachers, cause I would not simply "believe" what they were saying (if I wanted that, I would join a religion ;):D). Luckily some teachers also loved my attitude. And I'm glad I did, since this never ending curiosity and a healthy portion of criticism has learned me the most so far :)
Human sexuality and sexual health class in what way? To teach you about sexual behavior? to train you for a profession (sexologist)? Or as an extra course considering a related (and/or current) profession?
I think to sum it you could say that they get off, getting you off. If a girl did not enjoy receiving oral sex from me, I would find no pleasure in giving it. However, when they do enjoy it, I am only too happy to oblige and it turns me on as well.
So, knowing anal sex really gets a lot of guys off, I would guess girls like it because they get excited getting the guy excited. Adding to this it is easier for them to feel comfortable with anal, thus easier to enjoy.
But hey, I'm not a girl, so what do I know? Just taking a guess.
P.S.
I too enjoy "setting fire to the hive" haha. Gotta love messing with up-tight people! :D
Be careful, Ducy, of your conclusions. I have no knowledge of the article and hope you find it but from your brief synopsis you run a great risk of reading the wrong things into it. I doubt that there is any relationship between women's oral skills and anal skills (or desires or whatever). There is, however, a very strong intervening variable: sexual adveturousness.
Considering that many women (including myself) refuse penetrative anal sex and that there are apparently many women who are turned off by the thought of performing oral sex, there must be many who refuse both. Let us say, for discussion, that will be about a quarter of us. Many of those will tell you they object because it is "dirty" in some terms. (My objection to anal has nothing to do with hygiene but with long term cumulative effects.) We often label these women (or men) as sexually repressed.
At the other extreme are those women who are willing to try virtually anything sexual and learn to enjoy some or most of what they try. We may label them as sexually liberated, or some such. These are the ones identified in the "study" as happily doing both.
In between are those of us who thoroughly enjoy sex within our rather broad limits and may even be pretty good at it. No one ever objected to my blowjobs and I adore being rimmed, just do not approach that orifice with a penis expecting to enter.
You do not have a correlation, you have a covariance and the implications are quite different. Consider that street vendor ice cream sales appear to be related to street crime. However, both peak in the summer so there is a covariance with no causality. It is not enjoying oral that leads to performing anal nor enjoying anal that begets oral skills. More inhibited women may never be willing to try either and less inhibited women will try anything.
OK, simply advice on your conclusions before you "strike the match" and spring it on your professor. Tread carefully in interpreting any data on human behaviour. Doubly so for sexual behaviour.
Okay brandye. Gotcha! I more am presenting this paper to make everyone rage in my class. I've read 3 papers so far from classmates because they asked me to correct it for them. They are all filled with religious views such as sex should not be something casual. Having several partner throughout life. And a topic that EEK would certainly love.
Why having an open relationship is unhealthy...how it shows someone who is insecure...unable to control their compulsions...and how they are less evolved than most humans since they have multiple partners like animals...
This class needs a bit of absurdity wouldn't you agree? Or perhaps I should make a video documentary on my sex life. I have several willing participants haha.
More like a good bit of open-mindedness Ducy! Their ideas are more absurd than yours!
CN the whole survey thing wasn't my idea. Haha I just wanted to present something to shock the class since I'm such a "perv". I got called a pig because I participated in a FFM threesome. Although it wasn't for me because my gf was bi and tbh I found her choice to be unattractive.
I also participated in a MMF which leed me to be called a creeper because I had sex with a male and female...they don't seem to realize you can have a MMF threesome without touching or being attracted to the same sex...
I think men enjoy oral and anal more that vaginal.
perhaps girls enjoy vaginal most followed by anal and least is oral.
But if oral is in postions like 69 or other where she is also stimulated in return then she enjoys it.
Mohit I would have to disagree and say as an average men enjoy oral vaginal then anal simply because with oral the pressure of pleasing your woman is gone so they can completely enjoy it. And with so many taboos around anal men are hesitant to admit they like it/they haven't tried it/ they have but their partner is so turned off to it that they assosciate negative things and therefore don't like it.
For woman it would be vaginal oral then anal (as an average) simply because vaginal is pleasureable. Oral can be mostly because woman can be creative and do pretty much anything and a man will be so turned on by just the fact they have their mouth on it that women enjoy it for the power and control aspect. Anal last because they would be afraid to admit it for fear of being a "sleeze" due to social and religious upbringings/genuinely do not like it because the feeling of a rough first time with an inexperienced male parter/or they just plain don't like it
I can't help you with the article... But I was going to say about the same as Brandye points out :)
It's a pity to hear that your classmates seem so "closed up" about it... :( If you don't mind me asking: what kind of education is this course part?
Perhaps you could take it the other way around; how being open to sexual experiences requires us to accept ourselves the way we are and be in tune with our bodies. How our current culture fills us with shame that alienates us from ourselves and our bodies and therefor makes us incapable to enjoy sex. Sometimes even unable to truly "feel" ourselves. You could link to religion (obviously ;)), but also competing-goal-and-result-oriented culture. And how we seem to live in "our head" most of the time, causing us to neglect the signals our body so clearly sends.
PS: about the sequence of how pleasurable specific sexual acts are: this will be different to every woman. When it's about the sequence of performing oral-vaginal-anal sex; the reason why anal comes last is because you need extreme relaxation and arousal to be able to enjoy it. I just made quite a long post on the pleasure of anal sex, including more articles to read, see: http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/pleasing-her/29708-anal-sex-pleasurable-...
Yes RR I place anal last for women because it takes a certain amount of relaxation and openmindedness to enjoy it. My most current ex engaged in anal with a guy before me. He just lubed up and pushed in. No foreplay. No orgasms...no warm ups...and she absolutely hates it. But then again she does enjoy a finger in her anus during oral, and even worked up to 2. Yet she refused to try it again because of a terrible first experience.
And I think ill change my topic. Its a simple human sexuality and sexual health class. The course description was something along the lines of "a course based on the development of sexual health as well as an in depth look at sexual norms and acceptance of sexuality.
The teacher is the worst of all. She's teaching a course on proper sexual development and yet we were discussing harmful sexual fetishes...(her list of harmful)
Self mutilation
Fecal and urine play
BDSM
Dirty talking
Exhibitionism
Voyuerism
Sorry the first one is IMO is harmful. I mean apparantely scratching and biting "qualifies as mutilation" which I think is bull. But I remember a poster a while back who enjoyed splitting his eurethra by insirting miniature dildos...that's definitely harmful from possible infections..
Same with fecal play. Golden showers...well not an interest but I think its more sanitary because from my readings urine is at least sterile...
But Bdsm, exhibitionism, voyeurism and dirty talking is harmful?
Ha guess I'm mental cuz I would love to be tied up, talked dirty too, ridden hard, scratched, bitten, and if anyone wants to film or watch by all means!
I walked in yesterday with a bunch of hickeys from a long night (normally I have them hidden like on my stomach chest and hips ;) but I had her do them so they would be seen, plus I wore a tank so everyone could see them. I even had a few small cuts from her gripping my shoulders super tight while I was dominating.
I was getting disgusted looks from almost my whole class...except for one girl who seemed very fond of asking about each hickey why it was there each little scratch, why my partner would do it...and if I had any other ones and if she could see. She even insisted on see the one that was just underneath my belt line. Even though I merely slid my pants enough to show her (did not show anything private :p) her eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store....
maybe my "perverted" nature is starting to rub off on people
Just to further expand my knowledge. I love sex both from the pleasure standpoint and the psychological and social impact on society. I am liberal. I have a lot of beliefs about sex that many people sadly find "stupid".
I also think that understanding sexuality better could possibly benefit me in my field. I work with a lot of people. Men and women, and helping a client can become a test of willpower because certain assissted stretching techniques mimick sexual positions. Also I train a lot of what appear to be pent up sexless single women or lonely wives. (You can only accidentaly squeeze your trainers butt or groin....well that's never really an accident)
Assisted stretching... are you a physiotherapist, a manual & manipulative therapist and/or a trainer at the gym?
I think in any field in which touch is used, the impact of it should not be underestimated. Touch is rather intimate in it's core (intimate as in; within someone's personal space, not as in sexual). I think that also relates to how people have become somewhat "lazy" at interpreting signs of lust. I see a culture in which a naked body equals sex. A touch equals sex. A lot of people seem to have lost the ability to differentiate between the meaning of touch; healing, comforting, sensual, etc.
Iow; yes, I think such courses could be beneficial :) Just need a proper teacher ;)
I'm a personal fitness trainer. On of the first things we learn is to identify muscular and postural imbalances. Its amazing how many women are inflexible in their hips. So I have them laydown. One leg stays down while the other is liften up and outwards (similair to the wonderful leg lift performed during missionary). Granted I am not laying on top, but kneeling before them, it is a sensual act.
Or placing a hand on their mid back to help them see that their back is curved during a squat. Its odd to see the look that is in their eye from such simple contact. They suddenly become flirty making jokes, touching my arms and and chest, playing with their hair. Its a pity that a mid back touch turns them all ga ga goo goo. They would probably up and die (or scream in pleasure) if I made an actual sexual advance.
Ha, ha, I can imagine that inflexibility in the hips :) I'm practicing yoga and bodybalance (les mills) for 10 years now and I often am surprised that the women are very flexible in the legs, but not in the hips. To me it's the opposite. My flexibility in the hips is fine; I used to be a performing bellydancer (amateur, but still good enough to represent my class). But my legs never seem to cooperate when it comes to stretching... My bf has never complained, even complimented me; I'm more flexible than other women he's had.
The back is rather sensitive. Hell, I can even orgasm from caress! But like I said; it requires to interpret touch in more than one way. And I think that's a skill today's society is losing. I guess that's also related to people not touching much. We all have huge personal spaces. I'm a person that doesn't mind being close to people and I touch rather easily (but never in a pushy way). I can usually tell by the first handshake whether someone would appreciate any proximity ;)
I too am a touchy person. I rarely am uncomfortable with a touch. And I do seem to pick up on sexual advances and such much easier than most. I can tell the difference between a hug as a kind gesture and a hug as a...let's hug like this but naked. Has yet to really fail me.
But then again I also have great body control I have cuddled in underwear without even the slightest stir. I have even gone down on girls without being hard. I have yet to figure out if its good or not. I mean I can get it up. But I am afraid ill offend a girl by not being a flag pole from seeing them naked.
Well Ducy, genuinely picking up vibes is really a quality! :) I don't think I am that good at picking up sexual vibes... or actually: acting on them, since my first response has always been to run away as soon as I got a suspicion! ;)
I must also admit that touch can be lifechanging. It changed my friendship into a relationship with my bf. About 3 years ago an evening after diner he simply stroked my back slowly and seductively. It was the most gentle and loving touch I had ever felt. Only when after gasping for air I told him that this wasn't just a friends touch, his reply was that it wasn't, because he was so falling in love with me... I think if he would have just told me this, I would have rejected him and stayed friends, very dear friends even. But in this way he proved that he would be loving and gentle. He stayed with me that night. Looking back at it, I still don't understand how things could have changed so fast. Isn't that weird what one touch could do?
Personally, I have no problems with him not being hard when he cuddles me or during foreplay. I can imagine more women could like it; gives the feeling that there is no rush, just lay back relax and enjoy whatever he's doing to please. First few times my bf slept over and we cuddled, he didn't get hard. He knew he was my first lover and that I was really shy and even a bit frightened, so he figured it be best not to scare me off ;) It does take him effort, though. When he's aroused, but really tired, it will automatically rise. Was a bit confusing to me at first, since he doesn't want me to touch him then; he just wants to let it sudsy and go to sleep. But considering it takes energy to keep it low, it's actually logical ;)
Ya it is quite amazing what a simple touch can do. I fall in love with any girl who plays with my hair haha. I love having my scalp touched. It feels so amazing I can totally fall asleep to it.
I think too that touch has to do with social adjustment. Someone who is socially awkward will take every touch as an advanced. I.e. the nerdy virgin who cums when a woman touches his leg, or the quiet girl who becomes flustered over the jock huggy her. I was socially adjusted to women. Grew up with a lot of female friends. Had sleepovers with the hottest girls in school, never made a move. The first shower I ever took with a woman was with a friend and not a girlfriend. We washed each other laughed and had a fun time. It was perfectly fine.
We did have a few times when we would shower (no sexual activity during) and something after, a look, a scent, something would set us off and we would have phenomenal sex. After we were back to friends. I could never really explain it, it was just something natural. And I think that you have to really be able to really understand touch differences to understand my story lol
I think I understand that things can work that way. Whether I'd be able to experience it, would be another. But that's got to do with whether there is added emotional connection through sex. Each time we have sex, I love him more. Whether I want to or not; it created bonding. This has even frightened me in the beginning. Guess it's a living example of "making love"; ha, ha! :rolleyes: Nonetheless, I do not exclude the possibility of lust without love. Or sex without adding that extra "love" to a friendship. What is love anyways? I mean; my relationship feels about the same bond as it was, only deeper. Like a friendship that has a +; with more love, some lust and some extra caring for eachother, learning from eachother and sharing with eachother that makes our lives connect and melt together more than it did with a friendship.