And did your dr know you were going off the pill? Any prescription drug should only be stopped with your dr's knowledge and approval.
And birth control is not just the woman's issue, it is also the guys. And guys you need to stay on top of it. I have a 2nd cousin, male, with a now 3 year old, the condom broke and I guess she, the mother (now his wife - they got married this past August) is allergic to the pill so she can't be on it.
I keep saying this if you can't discuss birth control or sexual transmitted disease's ect with someone you don't need to be in bed with them. If you don't want this person to be a part of the rest of your life, because if you share a child that is what is going to happen, then you don't need to be in bed with them either.

If you are not on the pill then you really should use at the very least a condom. If you are using the pull out method, then you don’t need to convince him that it’s safe, because its not. If your using a condom and spermicidal than, I apologies for accusing you. If not, then you really should unless you want an unplanned pregnancy.

This is just irresponsible behavior on both of your parts. You need more forethought and less hindsight. What good are any contraceptives if you do not use them all of the time, no ifs ands, or, buts.

I am sure your boyfriend is somewhere between scared and apprehensive, yet he has to take half the blame for this, also, so it is not proper for him to put all the responsibility on you. I believe the two of you should abstain from sex until the two of you are more responsible and do not take unnecessary chances.

The two of you need to have a nice polite ongoing discussion and own up to both of your failures and agree to communicate about what you are doing and not doing overall and "tonight".

"The talk" should be an ongoing dialog--"communication". The two of you need to talk to each other about what you are each doing and not taking things for granted. A key ingredient to a healthy relationship is communication. Making love is also not what we do to each other, rather, what we do with and for each other. A relationship is a working partnership, not two individuals working independently.

Even though your boyfriend may be upset with this, not wearing a condom is equally irresponsible and dangerous. Right or wrong, his attitude is one of trust and it has been tarnished. Once trust is damaged, it is often very hard to repair. This is why the two of you must not be afraid to bare your souls and work for the common good, together.

> he thinks he may have ejaculated inside me but he is "pretty sure" that he did not.

"Thinks" is not good enough. Also, sperm is usually present in pre-cum and it is almost certain that this was present.

Plan B was a good thing to do, although, you cannot be relying on this every time there is a mistake. Going on Depo is a great way to protect yourself, yet it has a time limit and must be renewed within a specific window. Ya must not forget.

Well your first mistake was in going off the pill without him knowing. 'Forgot to tell him'??? My BF knew before I ever went in to get my IUD, and then he knew when I went in for the one month re-check, and then he knew I had to go in for an ultra sound just to be sure(the dork cut the strings too long and they folded up and he couldn't find them), and then he knew all was fine. He has always known precisely where we were at BC-wise. He NEEDS to be part of that conversation-this is not just about you alone, it's about the TWO of you and you BOTH need to be in on the decisions. I'm not by any stretch saying 'ask his permission to make changes' because it's still YOUR body-but there needs to be ongoing communication with him about it.

Here it is pretty simple--He does not trust you! He sees it as if you are now trying to trap him. I agree he should be responsible & be using a condom to protect his own self interests. However, I have to ask what were you two thinking? And asking the question; how do you get him to sleep with you? He clearly does not trust you at all.

Both of you have been reckless. There is no answer to how, here. Especially since you let him go without the condom and KNEW you were off the pill. This type of action; if he uses a condom or not, is a clear signal for any guy to run. Face it even as we as women put our trust in a man when we sleep with him [he will not do harm, etc]; men also place trust in a partner to be honest and forthcoming re:birth control. That's been violated.

> since you let him go without the condom and KNEW you were off the pill

Who is to have responsibility? Who is to take responsibility?

The stork brings the baby, but a lil swallow keeps the baby away...get it ? Go the oral route till you get the injecton.

[quote=dancingdoc2;224499]> since you let him go without the condom and KNEW you were off the pill

Who is to have responsibility? Who is to take responsibility?[/quote] BOTH!

He is responsible for not using his own protection, regarding pregnancy & STD, prevention. It's his responsibility to "protect his sperm"; he was careless.

What I find she was deceitful; her allowing, knowing fully both methods were absent [her pill & the condom], him to have sex [which is careless as well] & not disclosing the truth. There comes a point in time where one does have "trust" in the other to disclose information based on the degree of the relationship. I feel she is doubly responsible. He is not off the hook for being careless; however, she is really on it for not telling the truth before hand.

Regardless of what he did/she did. Ultimately it's her body and she went through with sex knowing the increase for risk...they had already a part of "Assumed risk" with skipping the condom. However, she has jeopardized her body for an act of hormones; meanwhile, he trusted she had used her regular method.

This is a typical situation heard...A trapped man due to pregnancy while the woman knew NO method was being used. It's bad enough to have a method fail but the blatant disregard of fully knowing and not conveying NO method is used. Yes, it's up to men to protect their sperm, their body's, and their partners. However, this is the source of his distrust.

Conversely, the situation is; I allow a man to skip a condom use. He does not disclose his belief of having a STD left untreated. Yes, I am a fool for getting in the position; however, he is dishonest.

I do not believe in "Oh, sorry I forgot to tell you X". Especially when forgetting one item which is essential--a condom or birth control altogether. Yes, over time and based on the situation one gets relaxed on condom use; however, that is only done with me after we have talked and has depended on the time in my life. He knows fully all the details...the best example is when I was engaged; yes we skipped since the STD was not an issue & pregnancy was not a big deal if it did happen.

She should have put the breaks on immediately since she held all the information.

And the title on the thread..."Convincing him to have sex with me again"...sounds like manipulation.

I recall my neighbor at 17 getting involved with a woman about 20 years older & with kids they dated about 7 months at the time. She had told him she "could never get pregnant". Yes, he was responsible for knowing to protect himself. Yet she knew better & it was a lie. He later came to me how to prove paternity--this was years ago.

I do believe though women have more of the responsibility. It's either a condom or no sex. Why? Yes he is at risks. But she is the one left standing alone if a matter goes wrong--pregnancy or STD. Women should protect their reproductive system as if its Fort Knox. A man gets treated for a STD and is fine. Women risk fertility. Pregnant? Yes you can file paternity suits in the courts but you will be the mother with or without him. There is no guarantee in a mans gene's to be the supportive father.

If men do not use a condom? How can they be surprised they were lied to? If they trusted, well the other has just been proven untrustworthy. Bad test to try.

Goof went and got snipped. He knew, at a young age, that he didn't want kids. Yet condoms are used for other reason's, so that he 1 has no unwanted children and 2 he's never been diagnosed with a disease.

[quote=Spicygirl82;224519]You are completely right Dancing Doc. I was irresponsible. I admit this. I will definitely be more responsible in the future.

You are right Sera. I was irresponsible. I was doubly irresponsible as you say. I admit this. However, I must say that I am in no way trying to manipulate him.[/quote] You have to be responsible for your body...you want kids someday right? You let one get away with it and before you know many will. Men can be talked out of a condom. As long as you were not trying to "catch him"...with a child; be careful since it's your health on the line. I have encountered all men expect to skip a condom. It's pretty simple, no condom=no sex. Then they are on the hook. And I do my half of BC.

He does not trust you; ask him & you may find out he has heard of bad experiences or had one. Men have a big fear of being caught into a relationship or child when not ready so make him do his half. If there is no condom...no intercourse.

You really don't need this again, the risks. Depo works well for some. I did well on it for years; other's have side effects. You get the injection every 3 months and you need to be careful since there is a 5 day window or it is not effective. The new IUD's look good as well as an alternative & if I was younger would try it, I no longer need birth control. However, I would look at it seriously since for years I used a cervical cap.

Sit him down & explain what your concerns are and he needs to talk to you as well--be honest. But really be careful unless you want children NOW! It's difficult enough when there is an accident, or a failure of Birth control. I can promise he is thinking just what I wondered about; be reassuring in both your words & actions--you both need to be safe.

You can add a spermicidal jelly or foam & he uses the condom until you start your Depo.

Good luck! :)

Get him to use a condom with spermicide??? Btw only time I have heard of plan B is from skateboarding... Just thought i would through that out there

Ichigo I really hope your not having sex if you dont even know what the morning after pill is.

I find this entire thread very annoying.

If you're going to indulge in adult behavior, you have to be adult about it.

She gets this shot because she won't have to remember to take the Pill every day. Excuse me? Do you wake up every day? Do you brush your teeth every day? Do you remember to wear clothing every day?

Yet with something this important you forget?

The Pill is NOT just some "accessory" - it is a NECESSITY. Think of it as air - you do remember to breathe, right?

Same thing with condoms. HE has to regard condoms as "air" as in no condom = no sex. ALWAYS. YOU have to have enough self-respect and self-control to be able to say NO and mean NO if he comes to you 'unprepared'.

I hope this scare has taught you both:
If you're going to indulge in adult behavior, you have to be adult about it.