Hi all. I've been sexually active for about 3 months now, but that is only as long as I have been having intercourse. I have been exploring things such as oral sex for over four years.
And over this time, I have noticed a reccuring trend. I come to orgasm easily most of the time. In fact, every single time I am stimulated everywhere BUT inside me, I orgasm. But the second my boyfriend, or any of the few partners I have had before him sticks anything from a finger to a penis inside me, I cannot physically orgasm- it just never happens.
I've tried remedying the problem on my own, but nothing helps- a finger, a vibrator. One something is inside me, I just cannot orgasm, even with clitoral stimulation at the same time.
Help? This means I have never orgasmed during sex, and my boyfriend is starting to think its his fault.
First you are fortunate since some women cannot have an orgasm even with clitoral stimulation; meanwhile, other women can through penetration.
Perhaps there is too much stimulation happening for you during intercourse and this distracts from being able to orgasm?
Have him search out your g-spot (read around the board) and try it that way. They are very different; an orgasm by clitoral stim., penetration, and g-spot ones. Not all orgasms are created equal!
Additionally, the more you worry about it the less likely it will happen!
Bella,
Half the women in the world never, or rarely, experience orgasm through penetration and thrusting. I am among them.
Pity the quarter of all women who never experience orgasm and do nto become overly concerned. It may happen sometimes. It may not. Tell your chauvinistic boyfriend that he is not responsible for your orgasms other than to do what you request.
Brandye, I do not mean to be rude. I am simply going to say don't judge, and please read my post before you give advice.
I can climax only with clitoral stimulation. If anything penetrates me even as I am about to orgasm clitorally, I cannot, even if the clitoral stimulation remains constant during the penetration.
Is this definetly just a mental roadblock, or could there be something wrong?
Also- do not call my boyfriend, or any male chauvinistic simply because he wants his partner to enjoy themselves in bed. In his mind- if he gets pleasure and satisfaction out of sex, I should to. He ENJOYS making me feel good- almost more then he enjoys feeling good himself. I'm sorry if you've never had that experience with a bed partner.
[QUOTE=BellaRosa;175894]
Is this definetly just a mental roadblock, or could there be something wrong?
Also- do not call my boyfriend, or any male chauvinistic simply because he wants his partner to enjoy themselves in bed. [/QUOTE]
I would guess that it is likely a mental block; it would appear at this point that I am also experiencing one, and it is very frustrating since it isn't anything conscious that I can pinpoint and correct. Have you had anything in the past that could have had an effect on you mentally or emotionally? Any kind of abuse, even if the abuser has no idea that it is even abuse, can linger and create scars that will subliminally affect you for a long time. I know I have been subjected to a bevy of different kinds, and some of the effects are still there, even though I can see some of them and have tried for years to fix them.
Also in regards to the latter part of your post, I still can't figure out what if anything would suggest of imply that your partner is chauvinistic. The fact that he thinks he is to blame for your inability to reach orgasm through intercourse would suggest the opposite of chauvinistic logic, but that's just me. Unless of course being concerned and trying to help your partner achieve satisfaction in bed is considered chauvinistic these days.