Hi I have a new dilemma, see me and my girlfriend have been having sex for about a month and a half, but the condom keeps breaking. We even tried to stronger magnum and bought extra lube in the hopes that it might prevent the condom from breaking, but it still does. does anyone have any thought as to what it keep breaking?
Sun, 05/16/2010 - 17:39
#1
Condom Breaks
I am at a disadvantage because, having no penis I have not experienced this. I am at a great advantage because over the year several people have allowed me to play with theirs.
Men tend to masturbate quite aggressively and, in some cases, desensitize themselves. Women doing the job tend to treat the penis as we wish you men would treat our clitoris - gently. Our mouths cannot be moved as fast as our hands, so even though we have lips and tongue, it still does not deliver the rubbing that a hand does. The vagina is the gentlest of all.
All this to say, in spite of doc's comment, cutting back on masturbating would help. It may also help if she takes over that chore as often as possible so that your body can learn that it is more fun to have it done than do it yourself. At least hold off a day or so before and see if she cannot get you off then. Preferably several times.
I do recommend that young women develop skill at these three methods of semen extraction. She can learn much and your body can be retrained.
The two most common reasons for a condom breaking are rough sex and not putting it on correctly. Leave bit of room at the end for the head of your penis to move without stretching the condom. The condom is obviously being pushed down the shaft of your penis. That indicates that you are sliding inside the condom more than the condom is sliding in her vagina. This can be interpreted that there is insufficient lube on the outside of the condom, or in her, and too much lube inside the condom. Use dry condoms and apply the lube (preferably spermicidal vaginal jelly) inside her and around her entrance.
Thanks for the advice everyone, I will start off first with responding to Doc, but sense I don't know how to multi quote I will try to make it clear as to what I am referring to in his post.
1: the whole session was 2 and a half to three hours. We first start with foreplay to get her wet and excited, that takes about 30 minutes to an hour, depending. the actual sex was two hours. The thing is, she has no trouble having an orgasm, she has multi's actually. Its just me thats the problem.
2: I will ask her about the new condoms when I see her next, or if she sees this post, she hangs out on here as well and she knows my username.
3: Since I am so used to masterbating I will hold off for as long as I can, its just hard because its such a habit. We useally have sex on Fridays and the rest of the weekend when we are free, so a whole week should hopefully help.
Brandeye: I like your advice, I will ask and see if she is willing to add masterbation for me as part of the foreplay, to see if we can change my bodies system from my way to her more gentle way.
If its ok with you all, I will like to keep this thread updated to let you know if its a success or not. The results would likely happen friday night or saturday this week.
We tried that last night, putting more lube inside her and not a single condom broke, we were so happy. I can't remember the name but it was water based and on the bottle said something about a natural gel.
Now the problem I have is I can't bloody cum! Her and I went for two hours yesterday and I couldn't cum, she was on the verge of passing out and my body was exhausted but i culdn't finish except for a handjob, with my own hand in front of her. This is not new, as it happens most times when we have sex, I just don't get it. At first her and I thought it was because I am not used to cumming in a condom, so she suggessted I start masterbating with a condom on so I get used to it and it may make it easier. So I tried that and I came easily this morning with a condom. Now I am beginning to think I need to stop masterbating all together, which I will suggest to her later today. what do you all think, her and I are getting desperate here.
[QUOTE=shinji;254928][COLOR="blue">We tried that last night, putting more lube inside her and not a single condom broke, we were so happy. I can't remember the name but it was water based and on the bottle said something about a natural gel.[/COLOR]
From your description, it sounds like the two of you found success, at least with this part of the situation.
[COLOR="blue">Now the problem I have is I can't bloody cum! Her and I went for two hours yesterday and I couldn't cum, she was on the verge of passing out and my body was exhausted but i culdn't finish except for a handjob, with my own hand in front of her. [/COLOR]
Two hours!! No wonder you two were exhausted. I'da thunk that after half that length of time if it wasn't working, you'd try be trying a different approach. What lasted two hours? Intercourse, or, was it the whole session?
[COLOR="blue">This is not new, as it happens most times when we have sex, I just don't get it. At first her and I thought it was because I am not used to cumming in a condom,[/COLOR]
Welcome to the world of condom usage. Many men, including me, find it impossible to reach climax while wearing a condom. I have the following suggestions:
1. apply a small dab of lube on the glans of your penis
before rolling on the condom. Doing so will give your
penis more wiggle room and thus provide more stimulation
2. switch to poly or lamb-skin natural condoms. The latter will not stop the passage of STDs, so are only recommended for monogamous couples with a clean bill of health. The material is much thinner making it much easier to build to and reach a climax.
[COLOR="blue">so she suggessted I start masterbating with a condom on so I get used to it and it may make it easier. So I tried that and I came easily this morning with a condom.[/COLOR]
This was a good suggestion; however what may prove to be its undoing is that there is a vast difference between the stimulation we derive from stimulating ourselves (masturbation), our partner's hand (h/j), and stroking within the vagina. What you will likely find out is that you can bring about a climax from masturbation using a condom, yet continue to fail to achieve them when having intercourse, just because the friction is less as is the "squeeze" difference between a hand grip and the loose fit of a vagina.
Now I am beginning to think I need to stop masterbating all together, which I will suggest to her later today. what do you all think, her and I are getting desperate here.[/QUOTE]
Usually, when someone suggests not masturbating my response is "just try"! Depending upon age, drive, and how a person is "wired", you might be able to stop for two or three days as most before things just happen and you find yourself taking matters into your own hands, again.
In your case, doing so less, is a good strategy. Do not masturbate at all during the 24 hours prior to having a love making session and see if that helps to improve your response.
Now, having said that, and, having written the article on masturbation and management, I'm more in favor of management over abstaining, and, more in favor of using a condom made of another material other than Latex. So, look for the natural lamb skin types and give them a try, first.
BTW, proper grammar usage is "she and I", not her.... We never say "her did this or that".