hello
as a lurker, i've noticed this board to be very open minded to people's private problems. i hope to get someone's perspective on this subject because i worry for my boyfriend's psychological health. i'm trying to be open minded but it is quite the pickle.
we were talking about fantasies the other night and i asked what his were. not expecting the strangest, i got the strangest. he admitted that he has, in the past masturbated to beastiality on the internet. my first instinct as his girlfriend was to comfort him and make him feel normal, but im afraid. he has done it more than once and claims he only does it when normal porn doesnt do it for him. he is otherwise relitively normal and i love him, but i don't know how to act in this situation.
should i be okay with it and be open minded or seek help?
i dont know what to do and am so lost
I'm by no means an expert, but I've read before that some people fantasise about getting raped/group sex, etc...but it doesn't mean that they actually want it to happen & it isn't a personality disorder or anything like that - maybe the same kind of logic applies here?
I've explored many aspects of online porn ... *shamefully* and I've been shocked by some of the horrors I've witnessed. But maybe your boyfriend likes the idea of something strange because normal, mediocre pornos are just boring. Honestly I would suggest keeping your boyfriend busy so he doesn't have the time to look up porno so much. I've realized that the longer I stay away from porn... normal vanilla sex is just as appealing as group sex and all that crazy stuff.
I've heard accounts from self-described online porn addicts who say that when you are really addicted, the regular porn doesn't cut it. They need the most extreme stuff to even become excited, so they turn to all kinds of really disturbing videos and maybe even bestiality.
I'm not saying that all people who view bestiality videos are porn addicts. But IMO it bears 'looking into' in case there is a real problem that needs to be addressed. I think the key factor is that if the porn habit is interfering with his relationships with real people and his ability to fulfill his real life obligations, then it is a problem. If this is happening and he denies it is a problem, this it is a bigger problem.
I've actually been frightened by the idea of Complete and Total desensitization (sp?) of sex, by porn. I've heard that it can be possible, where you just Can't peak nemore because you've watched toooo much Porn! Sounds a little funny, but I am now trying to go cold turkey without porn.
well shocked, (I love how peopl's names on here sond like nicknames from " dear Abby"). I don't think you should be worried, as long as it isn't the only thing that gets him aroused, or you see that he has bought a large dog. Sometimes if guys watch "normal" porn too much they start to build up a little bit of a tolerance, or just start seeing it as all being the same thing. This may lead them to more "intense" things like beastiality, rape, Dp or S and M. I don't doubt that if I am right, he has watched all of these types of porn. Goodluck working this one out, if you are still really worried about it, ask him if he watches regular porn too, or if he watches beastiality porn on a regular basis.
Probably it's not a big deal unless he's really interested in exploring bestiality for real.
File this under "things I should have kept to myself".