Turned off yet turned on by the though of pregnancy

[Ducy]

I know the title is a major contradiction, but lately I have noticed a strange arousal to the thought of impregnating my fwb. Like I am mortified at the thought of her being pregnant, and I do NOT want a child, yet part of me is so turned on by the thought of her getting pregnant. Like I fantasize about her moaning how she wants me to "knock her up" and during actual sex if I think about it my orgasm generally occurs moments later. Its just incredibly arousing.

Is this common to be terrified and NOT want to be a father yet being turned on by the thought of making it happen?

[RedRoses]

Maybe your natural urge is messing with your head I mean; men were programmed to spread their seeds and create offspring. And no; it's not that uncommon. Some men have an inexplicable urge to procreate, even though they don't want a child. A part of the men that donate sperm do so from this urge and some never even get to see the child (or children) they've conceived, but they do find peace of mind in fulfilling this biological duty.

Another aspect could be you feel a conflict between part of you feeling ready to impregnate her, yet part of you knows very well that this is not the time/place/person to have a baby, which in it's turn creates emotions of anxiety. Leaving you in emotional turmoil. I've heard both men and women about this problem... A men I spoke with called it a secret longing that he denies to himself and succeeds to do so, but it does "pop up" with something as primal like sex.

Last but not least;
-perhaps it's just like any fantasy; something that gets us off, but we don't want to happen for real
-perhaps it makes sex dangerous and some people just get off on possible danger
-perhaps an emotion so powerful as being "mortified" does say something about how much subconsciously you could be associating sex and pregnancy (whether you'd like to or not).

You know yourself best to tell if either could be true to you.

[Ducy]

See I genuinely am confounded. Like the thought of it happening gets me off yet it also makes me so paranoid. Like if I was in a relationship with a girl who wasn't on birth control I wouldn't dare think about having sex without a condom, but as I'm drawing close to the edge of climax, my mind switches to the "fill her with my seed make her pregnant" I cum and then after I'm just kinda like shocked at my thoughts.

My current friends with benefits is on depo. She's been on it for like 2 years. I was her first and we both got checked then had sex without a condom. Now before I get shot for "risking it" we both have thoroughly discussed the reprucussions and both agree on what to do upon an unplanned pregnancy.

She enjoys feeling me cum, no matter where it happens. In or on her it turns her on. Normally I can't even pull out the first time around. I guess it would be my primal instincts because I know the first time I cum there is generally a lot and again this thought becomes overwhelming powerful. I know she can't get pregnant which makes me feel safe (which is probably why I feel unable to withdraw. Something that I overcome when I know I have an incredilbly high chance with a partner who isn't on birth control)

I told her yesterday when we were talking about out "weirdest" fantasies. She told me hers and I told her mine. She was caught off guard and thought I actually meant I wanted a kid and was like um no I'm not having a kid till I'm at least 28 and I'm married (21 on depo now). But I explained it and she told me it wasn't anything bad. But I think I may have converted her (or she was just trying to please me) because we started having sex and she started talking dirty and mentioning my fantasy (and she rarely talks dirty.

[RedRoses]

From your post; I think it's your natural urge messing with your head. And you can allow yourself that little fantasy just like any other, even when it's confusing!

O, and I didn't mean to say you hadn't taken precautions. Thrills with little possible risk can be thrills too! It's why people love riding roller coasters; it's a sort of happy anxiety And anxiety could kill sex, but could also make it very intimate. I for one clearly remember the first time we had sex again after a failing condom. We were so longing for eachother and yet so scared that condom would fail us again. If I'd have to pick; that was the best sex we've ever had so far! It was the first time I squirted too! The time the condom failed was the first time we came simultaneously, which later we discovered relates to condomless sex (at that time; we hadn't done it bare).

[Brandye]

I am a woman who has been carefully active since a very early age. I have never planned nor wanted to have children. There have been a few times when I have experienced nearly transcendent sex leading to my lying there wishing that, "just now I want to be pregnant; to have HIS child." Almost an immobilizing desire keeping me there not allowing any of the precious semen to drain away.

The following morning, I am always relieved that I could not have become pregnant. A heat of the moment thing and that is what sex is for according to Mother Nature. Analogous to your issue?