trying to concive

[RedRoses]

Hi there Desi! I can totally imagine your thoughts; being scared about having a baby, but at the same time knowing you're ready. Every mother-to-be feels this way; it is quite normal

Great to hear that you have made a conscious decision and a plan. I must admit you're quite young; given statistics on when people start to have kids. And given biologically around age 25 seems to be the best time to have a baby. Dancing doc has certainly pointed out some valid cons, but let's not forget about pro's; both your body and mind are flexible!

Since it seems to be getting more an more normal for women to have children at a relatively "old" age (>30), causing more problems conceiving, during pregnancy and giving birth, not to mention: lacking the mental flexibility to adapt to a new situation. It is for those reasons some even encourage women to have children in their early twenties and try to create a cultural change. By my knowledge: 18 is the age that the average woman stops "growing" and "developing" physically. From that age it's more like the body settles down. Only a certain part of the brain continues developing till appr 22, but let's not forget this is an average as well. (medical professionals, please correct me if I'm wrong). Aside from the statistics and the medical approach; it is clear to everyone: some people develop and mature faster than others.

I'm very happy to read you've started on folic acid before conceiving, as this could contribute to the health of your to-be-baby (it significantly decreases chances of "spina bifida"). It is recommended to start at least 4 weeks prior to conception and continue until 2 months pregnancy taking tablets of 400-500 mg on a daily basis. There's no harm done when you're not immediately pregnant and take folic acid for a longer period of time. (information by ErfoCentrum- Dutch Centre on Genetical Heredity) Consult your primary physician (or other health professional) if you have questions or if you'd like any additional information.

May I offer you a bit advice in case you have conceived and are happily pregnant? Or in case you'd like to do some preparing? Not only to think about what happens after birth, but also: how you'd like your pregnancy and birth to be. See a nice discussion on this thread, including recommendations for books to read: Orgasmic Birth

[Desi2010]

thanks and if anything happens i will post it up here we are going to talk to a gyno in a week or soo about it and see what they say

[EvilEvilKitten]

Excuse me, I know you're in love and all however, let's talk genetics for a minute. I am sure he's a great guy but he does have his physical issues. Yes, it only takes one spermatazoon to fertilize but as the father so too the son. While you're getting checked out at the gyne, have him checked out at the urologist. That way, you both know what you're getting yourself into and you can make an informed decision.

In addition to the material money issues, you do have to consider the phsyiological issues. What conditions, diseases, traits exist in your family and which exist in his and how the two could blend. For example: diabetes runs rampant throughout my maternal side and heart disease prevents all males on my father's side from reaching the age of 65. Fortunately, neither issue prevails in my husband's family where baldness and psoriasis prevail. Both of those are transmitted by the mother so my husband could not give them to our kids. And if you're asking whether we discussed this prior to getting married - yes, we did.

Next item: when are you getting married? Fiance's have no more rights than any other man and his access to the hospital and any information will be curtailed. I strongly encourage that you marry and build a happy marriage before you have children. Children do best within stable loving relationships so to my mind you two are putting the cart before the horse by thinking babies before you two have had several years married under your belts.

Reality has a nasty habit of sneaking up on you and biting you in the rump. The stresses inherent within a new marriage are bad enough without also having the stresses of being new parents on top of it.