odd

[neeta]

lattly i have been looking around at young parents and wishing that i could have a child of my owne. when i told my feoncay he simply told me that theay arn't puppys and left it at that. but the more i see the young familys it only makes me want to start one more.

[dancingdoc2]

Can you afford a child(ren)? Do you have money set aside for-
* doctor visits and later hospitalization for the birth
* clothes and diapers
* furniture
do you have money in the budget for-
* food
* clothes and diapers
* unexpected expenses
* etc.

Do you have your lives in order? Do you have all the major items you will need for the next five years?

Can you afford to set aside money for college? It is much less expensive now than a year or two or ten in the future.

Why do you want a child? This may sound like a silly question, yet your answer can be telling.

[Ducy]

Neeta how old are you and your fiance? I simply ask because you say that you see young parents. How young exactly? 16? 18? 21? I am just curious because I went through a phase at 18 where I wanted to be a father. About 15 people from my graduating class were pregnant and it was cool watching them take care of the kids and the happiness they had made me jealous.

Then I got a little older and I realized that the kids weren't a "puppy" they required a lot of hard work, and you couldn't just throw some kibble in a bowl, give em a dish of water and leave them for the day.

[dancingdoc2]

The o/p has not been active in nearly two years; however, the conversation remains current and relevant for today's readers.

Very often when a child wants to have a child, the reason is one of two:
1. she wants someone to love and to love her in return for the lack of such in her life.**
2. she believes (at whatever age) she is mature enough to be a mother for whatever reason.

What girls at this stage of life fail to understand is that babies require all of her time; morning, noon, and, night. Gone for the foreseeable future is her free time, and, a social life. When she tires of the responsibility, she expects parents or grandparents to step in and take over. Often, it are these older adults who will be called upon by default to raise another child.

Once becoming a teen mother, it becomes very difficult to impossible to continue an education and complete college or a technical school.

Once the child is born, who is going to finance his/her support? The father? The grandparents?

** Children should not be brought into this world with a job to do. If something is lacking in a girl's life, having a child will not generally solve what is amiss or replace what is faulty.

If you are a teen or in your early twenties, think long and hard about having a baby before you have had time to learn how to be a responsible adult with the means to support this new person in all aspects of their upbringing.

[Barely18Guy]

That's right doc, I want a child really hard, and I'm only 18, but not now, I want to settle a life for myself first... I can't even see my furure clearly, I wouldn't cloud another being's future because I think it's wonderful to be a parent.