Birth Control Phobia?

[Ducy]

Okay, so are there any women out there who refuse to go on birth control? Whether out of fear or some other reason (Non medical)

I mean my fwb doesnt wanna and she says cuz its not like were dating (Yet during our brief relationship, she found every excuse not to)

Forgetting to take the pills or her parents finding em is one thing. But there are so many other options and none of her excuses make any sense (like the were not dating one)

We had unprotected sex the other day and went to the store to get plan B. I talked about getting some back up method and she just doesnt seem to want to own up. I mean spermicide makes her feel "weird and super oily/wet" BCP and other forms of contraceptives seem to just be a problem. I told her I would even pay for them if it came down to it but she still was against it.

And I feel sort of cheated. I mean I dont think its fair that I should be the one to protect myself from sti's (although it is a monogamous fwb lol) and protect her from pregnancy. Last time I checked it was fair to say that each person should protect THEMSELVES. I honestly feel like telling her next time that I dont feel like wearing a condom or purchasing any because I dont want my mom to find them, or because were not dating or some excuse like that.

I know it sounds like a ****ty thing to do but it feels like thats what she is doing to me.

Oh and btw to anyone who wants to give me the bcp screws with your body while a condom doesnt...I know that but she has never tried them, and she refuses even to use spermicide (Which I know she isnt allergic to or anything because there have never been any signs or symptoms)

[Ducy]

And I just realized I put this in the wrong section. Sorry guys!

[cjb1981]

Ducy this is stupid. If your friend doesn't want to use BCP (or any other form of hormone birth control) then just deal with it. A lot of women that I know don't like the thought of using BCP because of the fear that it may mess up there chances to have children or cause other health risk to themselves. Weather those fears are unfounded or not (I have no idea), they are there. Perhaps this is what your friend fears, or something similar. "Monogamous friends with benefits", really Ducy? Grow up man. Having unprotected sex with someone who isn't a long term partner is very irresponsible and you know that. You should be using a condom every time you have sex. Also, you're like 20 years old and you're worried about your mom finding your condoms? Grow up, you two need to have a talk about the fact that you have sex, or move out. If you're going to play like an adult, act like an adult.

[demonbuttercup]

She doesn't want to take hormonal BC but she'll take a Plan B?

I mean of course there are pros/cons w/ any medication whether it's for BC or for high blood pressure.
I personally have been on the pill for 5+ yrs and have no trouble w/ as far as side effects and remembering to take it. On a side note... I think this is sooo childish for someone to say they can't remember to take a pill everyday. You just make it part of your daily routine... take w/ your daily vitamin... take right before you go to bed... either way.
If their life depended on this pill to live... you know for damn sure they would remember to take it... and for me... my life (now child free) does depend on it.

And I also understand people who read too much on the internet and read EVERY bad thing that could happen while on the pill... so decide not to take it... but there are many options out there.

Back on topic... I do agree she needs to comprise to some point as to what would be her responsibility and no I wouldn't have unprotected sex w/ her... whether its fwb or not.

Shouldn't be having sex if she/you can't comprise on some sort of BC.

[Ducy]

Man cjb you just pretty much chewed my ass out...I really think something got lost in translation. She doesnt want any form of back up for her, spermicide, hormonal, non hormonal...NOTHING. I know I should be using a condom every time, and I am ashamed of myself for it cuz I have always pushed for condom use with all my friends and even on this board.

And the whole monogamous friends with benefits thing was just a little wise crack. I've known her for 5 years and we have both discussed the whole sti's, pregnancy, and past or current flings (or lack of in some instances)

I am not worried about my parents finding my condoms. They know I have sex, they have given up on me and just stress out over my sister (They even offer to get me condoms since they really dont want me getting anything or getting anyone pregnant). That whole last line was again a wise crack, just to show the comparison of her excuses to mine. I mean her parents find some bcp pills and sure she gets yelled at and such, but she is also 18 (going on 19) so its not as big a deal either. At least it wasnt like when my parents found a condom and flipped out. Lucky for me it was a day till my 18th so as mad as they were I was a legal adult.

[Ducy]

Oh and demon, I dont even care if she doesnt want to take bcp, an implant, or anything hormonal/long term (Such as a copper IUD)

I would simply appreciate a spermicide, whether a vcf or foam or lubricant. But she is adamant on those too.

[demonbuttercup]

Gotcha... Well maybe she just needs to read over more of the facts???
Like as in the failure rates of condoms alone...and then the benefits of condoms paired w/ a secondary form.

And you also have the right to voice that condoms alone don't "ease your mind" and that you enjoy things a lot better knowing you aren't paranoid the whole time if the condom slips/busts. In the end... it would be your responsibility (the kid)... and you just aren't ready for that.... FWB sex is supposed to be beneficial.... not a pain in the ass! LOL