Yes I HAVE STOPPED but im not known in the locker room cause i dont get around and i have only been with 2 trustfull guys ... my age is a number yes and sex is a big part and i stopped because i have my whole lofe to have sex,,, why start ((or keep going )) now i just want everyone that is young on this sight to pay attention to that...... Yes fooling around a little i wanna and will do sometimes cause its nice DUHHH i have been with this guy 6 months and now im ignoring the subject of perfection because obviously he doesnt care if i just dont wanna ... Thank you all!
A double-dose. I just read your post with concern about becoming "too loose" and it included your admission that you've started having sex "too young."
I agree with you. You did start too young.
You're way too concerned with your performance and "measuring up." Before you edited your post it indicated that you were actually encouraging your boyfriend to compare you to his previous partners. Your worry was not that he was comparing, it was that you weren't #1 in all categories.
You are setting yourself up for a lot of pain in your life. A lot of guys would LOVE to be with a girl like you, but for all the wrong reasons. If you can't get past this need to measure up... stop having sex and (I know you'll hate hearing this but I don't know how else to say it) "grow up a little."
How would you like to be known in the guy's locker room as "the girl who will do anything?" I know that's harsh, but it's a reputation that is easy to get.
Hey honey.. just be urself u can't be perfect. If u are striving for perfection u r just letting urself down.. he should be thinking ur number 1 anyway and anyday... don't take that shit... stand up and stop worrying on being perfect.. no one is... u r who u r and he should be 100% happy with what u give him ... if not.. then there should be some tlaking.
[QUOTE=Quote (nrgummybear @ Mar. 26 2004,10:48)]The thing is HE DOES make me feel like i need to mesure up or he wont do his best if im niot his best iits weird Like hell be pleaseing me and just stop with out finishing and then its his turn and it sucks.........its a little agrivateing so im hopeing to get him satisfied enough!!![/QUOTE]
i'm certainly no relationship genius here, but when you say that, lightbulbs start going off in my brain.
it seems that he's hung up on the past and will obviously never move forward if he's just gonna compare you (or anyone) to his exlovers.
and the fact that he doesn't finish just sends more signals off. to me, that just says, he's doing it only for himself and doesn't care about you. because not only is he "forcing" you to get better so HE can get off better, he's not even finishing up his end of the bargain, which is just wrong to me.
and i'm not trying to be judgemental here (but i know it will come off that way) but you say it doesn't bother you that he compares...yet you made a post about it. to me, that says it bothers you atleast to some extent because obviously you're trying to outdo whoever is in "first" because it bothers you to be "second".
well thats being selfish on his part.
i mean you could turn the whole thing around and the way he's acting tell him "well you aren't exactly the best ive had either"
especially if he's shortchanging you in the pleasure dept.
why should you work extra hard to please him if he's not giving the same effort. i mean he knows you are trying to improve yourself. he should cut you a little slack.
you both should be working toward the same goal he shouldn't expect it to all be on you.
also, don't pretend that him comparing you to his ex doesn't bother you. it would bother anyone to be compared and "graded" according to someone else.
maybe you should take wallys advice and be like look you aren't w/ her anymore you are w/ me. so we should focus on us not if im as good in bed as she was. if she was so great why aren't you still w/ her?
I'd want you to get things into perspective. You don't have to be "perfect." Okay, so maybe I've been with a girl who was "better" sexually than you are. The fact is that I'm with you now.
You see, my dear, there is nothing more frustrating for a guy to be satisfied with you and you are not satisfied with yourself.
If you want to get a little wilder in the sack, that's fine. But don't spend relationship energy competing with old girlfriends and the past. You're actually putting unfair pressure on HIM and making him responsible for your own feelings of inadequacy. (He's already told you your the best BJ, kisser... is there a checklist? LOL)
What do guys like? a little variation... lots of response (the feeling that you are with me, not just doing stuff to get me off)... some open-mindedness and willingness to try things... sometimes some playfulness and maybe even occasional silliness... so much of sex is about attitude, really.
here is a link to a page of all different kinds of sex positions w/ pics so you get a better idea.
theres men on top, women on top, and everything in between.
if theres not one there you haven't tried then i don't know what to tell ya lol.
there were a couple i was curious in trying.
ive tried pretty much every variation.
one was the woman on top but her legs are together and straight down instead of straddling him. looked like it might be complicated but worth trying.
good luck!!!!
p.s.
one thing to try is i don't know about your b/f but mine LOVES to have his nipples played w/. esp when i suck on them while rubbing his penis.
what drove him even wilder is while i was on top, i would just slowly grind and then i bent down and started sucking and teasing his nipples. i couldn't do it for long...lol.. he said it just felt TOOO good.
give that a try.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
You sound happy with your decision and clearly happier in general that you sounded when you started this thread.
As I said earlier, I did not mean to sound harsh... and I don't mean to sound patronizing now, but I'm proud of you.
You go, girl!
And a big thanks for coming back to tell us. It's nice to hear happy endings and feel a part of them.
Hang around, your experience can help others!
Wally
Yes I HAVE STOPPED but im not known in the locker room cause i dont get around and i have only been with 2 trustfull guys ... my age is a number yes and sex is a big part and i stopped because i have my whole lofe to have sex,,, why start ((or keep going )) now i just want everyone that is young on this sight to pay attention to that...... Yes fooling around a little i wanna and will do sometimes cause its nice DUHHH i have been with this guy 6 months and now im ignoring the subject of perfection because obviously he doesnt care if i just dont wanna ... Thank you all!
Okay, Gummy: what I said before.
A double-dose.
I just read your post with concern about becoming "too loose" and it included your admission that you've started having sex "too young."
I agree with you. You did start too young.
You're way too concerned with your performance and "measuring up." Before you edited your post it indicated that you were actually encouraging your boyfriend to compare you to his previous partners. Your worry was not that he was comparing, it was that you weren't #1 in all categories.
You are setting yourself up for a lot of pain in your life. A lot of guys would LOVE to be with a girl like you, but for all the wrong reasons. If you can't get past this need to measure up... stop having sex and (I know you'll hate hearing this but I don't know how else to say it) "grow up a little."
How would you like to be known in the guy's locker room as "the girl who will do anything?" I know that's harsh, but it's a reputation that is easy to get.
Please think about it.
Wally
Hey honey.. just be urself u can't be perfect. If u are striving for perfection u r just letting urself down.. he should be thinking ur number 1 anyway and anyday... don't take that shit... stand up and stop worrying on being perfect.. no one is... u r who u r and he should be 100% happy with what u give him ... if not.. then there should be some tlaking.
[QUOTE=Quote (nrgummybear @ Mar. 26 2004,10:48)]The thing is HE DOES make me feel like i need to mesure up or he wont do his best if im niot his best iits weird Like hell be pleaseing me and just stop with out finishing and then its his turn and it sucks.........its a little agrivateing so im hopeing to get him satisfied enough!!![/QUOTE]
i'm certainly no relationship genius here, but when you say that, lightbulbs start going off in my brain.
it seems that he's hung up on the past and will obviously never move forward if he's just gonna compare you (or anyone) to his exlovers.
and the fact that he doesn't finish just sends more signals off. to me, that just says, he's doing it only for himself and doesn't care about you. because not only is he "forcing" you to get better so HE can get off better, he's not even finishing up his end of the bargain, which is just wrong to me.
and i'm not trying to be judgemental here (but i know it will come off that way) but you say it doesn't bother you that he compares...yet you made a post about it. to me, that says it bothers you atleast to some extent because obviously you're trying to outdo whoever is in "first" because it bothers you to be "second".
its a little agrivateing so im hopeing to get him satisfied enough!!!
well thats being selfish on his part.
i mean you could turn the whole thing around and the way he's acting tell him "well you aren't exactly the best ive had either"
especially if he's shortchanging you in the pleasure dept.
why should you work extra hard to please him if he's not giving the same effort. i mean he knows you are trying to improve yourself. he should cut you a little slack.
you both should be working toward the same goal he shouldn't expect it to all be on you.
also, don't pretend that him comparing you to his ex doesn't bother you. it would bother anyone to be compared and "graded" according to someone else.
maybe you should take wallys advice and be like look you aren't w/ her anymore you are w/ me. so we should focus on us not if im as good in bed as she was. if she was so great why aren't you still w/ her?
good point Wally
As a guy...
I'd want you to get things into perspective. You don't have to be "perfect." Okay, so maybe I've been with a girl who was "better" sexually than you are. The fact is that I'm with you now.
You see, my dear, there is nothing more frustrating for a guy to be satisfied with you and you are not satisfied with yourself.
If you want to get a little wilder in the sack, that's fine. But don't spend relationship energy competing with old girlfriends and the past. You're actually putting unfair pressure on HIM and making him responsible for your own feelings of inadequacy. (He's already told you your the best BJ, kisser... is there a checklist? LOL)
What do guys like? a little variation... lots of response (the feeling that you are with me, not just doing stuff to get me off)... some open-mindedness and willingness to try things... sometimes some playfulness and maybe even occasional silliness... so much of sex is about attitude, really.
Focus on mutual pleasure, not measuring up.
Wally
here is a link to a page of all different kinds of sex positions w/ pics so you get a better idea.
theres men on top, women on top, and everything in between.
if theres not one there you haven't tried then i don't know what to tell ya lol.
there were a couple i was curious in trying.
ive tried pretty much every variation.
one was the woman on top but her legs are together and straight down instead of straddling him. looked like it might be complicated but worth trying.
good luck!!!!
p.s.
one thing to try is i don't know about your b/f but mine LOVES to have his nipples played w/. esp when i suck on them while rubbing his penis.
what drove him even wilder is while i was on top, i would just slowly grind and then i bent down and started sucking and teasing his nipples. i couldn't do it for long...lol.. he said it just felt TOOO good.
give that a try.