I know communication is key to a healthy relationship and a healthy sexual relationship so haha i think i have a problem lol
my bf and i barely talk during sex and sometimes it makes me a little bit frusterated because im not sure what really he wants and so on. I also contribute to the silent lovemaking but in all honesty i don't know what to say when were doing it. I've tried telling him when he does something that i like it but he'll reply yeah? and that kinda ends the communication, i know i can do the same thing.
I want to know if this is a pretty serious problem, and i would like to start communicating more with him. Is there a way that we can avoid that "yeah?" reply and such?
Sorry if this is a repeat post or anything haha but i did check.
haha any help would be greatly appreciated :) haha ive never been much of a talker :P
[quote=Webby;207246]I know communication is key to a healthy relationship and a healthy sexual relationship so haha i think i have a problem lol
my bf and i barely talk during sex and sometimes it makes me a little bit frusterated because im not sure what really he wants and so on. I also contribute to the silent lovemaking but in all honesty i don't know what to say when were doing it. I've tried telling him when he does something that i like it but he'll reply yeah? and that kinda ends the communication, i know i can do the same thing.
I want to know if this is a pretty serious problem, and i would like to start communicating more with him. Is there a way that we can avoid that "yeah?" reply and such?
Sorry if this is a repeat post or anything haha but i did check.
haha any help would be greatly appreciated :) haha ive never been much of a talker :P[/quote]
Ask open ended questions...rather then a simple one which allows him to get away from one word such as "Yeah"; ask him why he likes it? What is the turn on for him?, etc.
Just follow seras advice...I mean I think most people are like this when they are generally starting out...(I was :()
Just dont let it turn into a convo...I mean me and my girl joke cuz we tend to get a little carried away sometimes...then after sex we will be sitting there thinking why the f**k were we talking about that during sex? lol
I like to use walkie talkies to communicate!;)
*Oh yea baby just like that
*You forgot to say over...over
*Omg Im cumming...over
ROFLMAO
An old teacher of mine always said, 90% of all communication is non-verbal. Learn to read his facial cues and body language. Like an old radio, if you want the good station just keeping tweaking the knobs, :).
ooh knobs, dirty! ; )
It sounds like you have a man of few words. Some guys are like this. Their communication skills are limited to one or two word responses. Once in a great while you will receive a sentence. Paragraph? Forgetaboutit.
Asking open ended questions are a good approach. So too is proceeding with "Implied Consent". Do a forum search on this for more information.
It sounds like you have two problems with this; first, that both of you are not chatty expressive individuals; second, that in order for this to change, you have to impress upon your friend how important the sharing of information is to a relationship.
> I want to know if this is a pretty serious problem, and i would like to start communicating more with him.
Any situation can be a serious problem if it is of concern to one or the other.
Being 'expressive' and giving 'feedback' include more than just words. Move, moan, wave signal flags - whatever! The thing is to PAY ATTENTION to your partner. He says yeah, you say yeah and back and forth is that's going to be theextent of it.
"Marsha." "John."
"Marsha!" "John!"
"MARSHA!!!!!!" "JOHN!!!!"
Got the idea?
What you say is of little importance as opposed to HOW you say it.
As above, body language and response is very indicative of what you need and want.
You don't need to have a full-on conversation about what you are doing, what you want done and chat during sex. If he is a man of few words, if he gets so into it he is not able to speak, you can't find the right words to say, how about doing all the talking before you start the actual sex act? Send him an email/text/phonecall/letter about what you want him to do to you/what you want to do to him, talk before you start foreplay in the same way to get him warmed up and more receptive to talking during this time.
Sometimes, all it takes is a playful giggle whilst you are fooling around to start being more verbal communication :)
[QUOTE=Ducy;207311]*Oh yea baby just like that
*You forgot to say over...over
*Omg Im cumming...over
ROFLMAO[/QUOTE]
LMAO that's awesome
I'm down w/ keeping the chatter to a minimum... too much and I lose concentration! lol
My b/f tries to get me to talk more (dirty stuff) but Im just like...uh huh..ok lol.
Just ask him to tell you what feels good. You don't have to have full sentences, but just really the idea is to make sure you are both satisfied. If you think it is an issue, then try talking about it outside of the bedroom. Or like someone else mentioned, during foreplay talk about the things you would love to have him do to you and ask him what he would like. When you first start out, it does feel awkward talking about it, but really, it is nothing to feel awkward about. Just ask!