iv been going out with my girl nearly a year now...and we have sex regularly...She always wants to climax at the same time as me and if she climaxes before me she gets dry after she climaxes and it hard to keep going...So when she says shes about to climax i hit it harder until i climax....Is this normal? I usually can last long and really would like to give her orgasms but i feel like i have to climax at the same time or she will feel bad...
Also she doesn't know if shes had a orgasm or knows how it feel...she doesn't masturbate...so basicly sex is all the plassure she gets....After sex she tells me everything is num and her legs are shaking and she cant walk....Is there away to tell?
Thanks inadvance
There is so much to be addressed here. She wants to reach orgasm together but does not know if she has ever reached orgasm. Difficult to deal with.
The issue of simultaneoud orgasms was big a few decades ago. Forget that the male and female bodies cannot be set like alarms to go off together and is, therefore, most unlikely and a pleasant surprise when it happens.
How can say she is about to reach climax if she has never experienced that?
Everything being num and shaking after sex, with or without her reaching orgasm, is much more likely a function of position and being pounded upon than of sex. Lay back spread your legs and raise your knees as far as possible. Now imagine someone weighinthirteen stone or so laying on you and pounding away.
You each need to be studying a bit and then trying different techniques and positions many of which will not include a penis in a vagina.
I concur with Brandye. And, your girl needs to masturbate.
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[QUOTE=mrsocko915;230071]iv been going out with my girl nearly a year now...and we have sex regularly...She always wants to climax at the same time as me and if she climaxes before me she gets dry after she climaxes and it hard to keep going...
[COLOR="blue">As Brandye stated, simultaneous orgasms were all the rage several years ago, yet we now know that while this can be a lofty goal, it is an impractical task to try and achieve.**
This has only happened twice for me and I've been doing this for a while. Intercourse is not about the orgasm as much as it is about melding the two psyches. Orgasms are what Foreplay {b/j & h/j) are about.[/COLOR]
So when she says shes about to climax i hit it harder until i climax....Is this normal?***
Also she doesn't know if shes had a orgasm or knows how it feel...she doesn't masturbate.
[COLOR="blue">Which is it? You have presented contradictory statements. Because she does not masturbate, it is unlikely that she has ever experienced an orgasm. She needs to begin practicing! Why? For girls, masturbation is a learned experience requiring a conscious effort, while for boys, it is pretty much an auto response. Girls often do not learn to masturbate, or, learn much later than do boys.
We do not give orgasms away. Each person is responsible for his/hers. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve them. As you have learned, the technique you use while similar to what other guys do is in fact unique and special to you. If you do not do it the same or nearly the same way each time very often an orgasm will not happen or if it does it will be less than desired. The same for women. She must first learn what it takes to cause an orgasm to happen and be able to repeat it, she must then be able to show you how to mimic her movements, rhythms, and pressures; otherwise, an orgasm is unlikely. [/COLOR]
**I usually can last long and really would like to give her orgasms but i feel like i have to climax at the same time or she will feel bad...
[COLOR="blue">
What most young boys do not learn until they become older and wiser is that having sex is not just about getting your rocks off; it is as the other title states: "Making Love". Let each of your orgasms happen and concentrate on the making love aspect in which the two of you join your psyches for a moment in time. Making love should be about demonstrating the love each of you expresses for one another. Think emotions more than physical relief; which is the "sex" part. Make this your goal and learn to connect with her on an emotional level and you will not disappoint.[/COLOR]
..so basicly sex is all the plassure she gets.
[COLOR="blue">If this is true, then both of you are going about it for the wrong reasons. Oh, sure, sex for sex sake and the pure enjoyment of the feelings is fine to do, just do not confuse sex with making love. While they go together, you can just have the sex without necessarily the demonstration of the love aspect.[/COLOR]
...After sex she tells me everything is num and her legs are shaking and she cant walk....Is there away to tell?
Thanks inadvance[/QUOTE]
Is there a way to tell what? That her legs are numb and shaking--or, that she has experienced an orgasm? As for the latter, the only sure way of knowing is if she informs you so, verbally or non-verbally. As mentioned, above, until she learns to masturbate and can climax regularly and consistently by herself she can neither expect you to make it happen for her, nor can she help you to help her by taking your fingers and moving them in a way that she has become accustomed to using--just like with you.
***"Hitting it harder"-
Yes, this is normal; however, for best results, you need to learn to communicate verbally and/or non-verbally. When a person masturbates, we benefit from an internal feedback that lets us modulate our movements for desired results. When we turn the reins over to someone else, we loose this and must substitute communication in one form or another to let our partner know how we are responding to his/her caresses and for what we need now/next. The same holds true for letting each other know how close we are to a climax and for when it is going to happen and then has.
The two of you should do some much needed reading. Please look at the Index found at the top of the main screen. It lists many informative and how-to articles on all aspects of this. You will find these articles instructive and your means to an end. One bit of etiquette to learn is that a wise and caring lover will help his partner achieve an orgasm first, before intercourse--then later, after intercourse. In between the two of you can climax one or multiple times and space them out as desired. If simultaneous orgasms happen, great!, however this is not the goal.
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Thanks for all your advice....
For the record, She tells me shes cumming and then i feel like i have to come at the same time.....b/c she becomes very dry after she cums.....Now shes climaxed more then once before so we know it can happen...but after we used lube to make it wet again...Is this normal?
And this is really my 2nd sexual partner and im not to bright about orgams and stuff...i will check out the Articles on this site.
Also she doesn't feel right masturbating she tells me...i try to put her own hand down there and she pulled it away...Can she still get orgams without masturbating?
Thanks again
Using lube is perfectly acceptable, and if I am not mistaken the personal lubricant industry is huge and profitable.
My last gf was similar. She would cum very quickly, and afterwards she would start to dry up. Lucky for me she found ways to help speed my orgasm up just from simple leg positioning.
The sticky posts entitled "The Program" and "Body Worship" will help you enormously - find them and do what they say. Then ask her to reciprocate.