First, why do you feel bad about masturbating? Why is it OK for him yet not you?

Second, communication is the cornerstone of a good relationship. If a couple cannot talk to each other and none of us are mind readers, how do you expect information to be exchanged?

If you do not or cannot tell him, then gently take his fingers and place them where you want them. If he does not get the hint and does not remove them, guide his movements so he can learn what to do.

> But he stopped.

There is a time to pause and a time not to stop. If you are not aroused to a point near the point of triggering your climax, then pausing is OK when you want to extend the proceedings and rebuild. Stopping the stimulation when the woman is about to climax is very bad form.

> I just dont want to climax.

WHY?

> I didnt want to do it myself, in case he became offended.

OH, let me give you a pointer. Most guys would be turned on by watching their partner take matters into her own hands. If he does not, then he has serious confidence and/or ego issues that need addressing.

I've had a similar issue. One thing that you can do, since it seems you can be climactic with clitoral stimulation over actual intercourse, is to have your partner arouse you clitorally until you reach the point where orgasm is imminent. At that time, he slows down a bit, and begins vaginal stimulation with fingers as well as whatever he'd been doing to your clitoris :) The idea here is to sort of wake up the other nerve endings in and around the area... then once you feel adequately "warmed up" and again reaching the point of climax, he moves on to penis stimulation.
It may take a few good times, but it's fun indeed for both in the process!

This is your problem:

"But I just dont want to climax."

Whyever NOT? Don't you like orgasms? Don't you WANT orgasms?
EVERYONE on the planet masturbates! Yegods woman - if you need clitoral stimulation TELL him so - do NOT leave him fumbling around in the dark getting more and more depressed because he can't seem to do anything right for you! How would you feel if the situation were reversed? You'd feel like HELL that's how - so why are you letting him feel that way now?

My b/f LOVES when I reach down and start rubbing my clit. Sometimes he'll even stop what he was doing just to watch LOL.

I rub my clit and will maybe play w/ one boob while he's on the other boob and doing whatever else... the more areas of stimulation you get at once... the better it all feels.

Extremely FEW men on the planet would be at all offended by their lady doing whatever during sex! They completely enjoy the sight, the feel, the sounds of sex.

He will not be at all offended by your using your hands on yourself.

BTW stop telling yourself that you can't climax. I'm sure you could with enough foreplay and the right stimulation. If he caresses your G-Spot and Posterior Fornix with the well-lubed head of his penis you might be surprised.

Sounds like you two need to spend more time in the bed exploring eachother.

> A couple of weeks back, he started touching my clitoris during sex, and I told him if he kept doing it, I would climax. But he stopped.

Thank you for all the clarification.

After reading everything, above, it looks to me like this matter has yet to be solved. Is he listening to you? Are you asking for what you specifically need?

That he stopped (or is stopping too soon) is one thing, that you do not ask for what you need him to do is another. Encourage him to finger you while engaged in intercourse, then give him feedback on how you are responding to his caresses and for what you need, now.

Even if you do not climax through intercourse, what is also important is that you be given the opportunity to climax before and/or after intercourse if it is your desire.

INTERCOURSE / ORGASMS / and the gentle art of Humping