You're going to get people saying "no, stay out of it, it's her business not yours," but I think the possibility of her getting pregnant and bringing another baby in this world the parents can't support is more of a concern than you invading whatever God given right to privacy a 15 year old gets.
Wow that's a long sentence.
Unless you know she's on birth control, or the parents at least know she's very serious with this bf. I would suspect "your daughter is having sex" sounds a lot better to a parent than "your daughter is pregnant."
To inform or not to inform your parents about this is a difficult situation. Here are some things to consider:
a) that you know she is using the pill or some other highly reliable
form of birth control
b) that you know for certain the b/f is using a condom
c) what are the house rules or expectations
If you are older, I would suggest asking her about how responsible she is with her own protection and in requiring the b/f to be equally responsible. Both of them need to look out for "Number One" (themselves) and then use a third form of protection as back up to the other two--a spermicide. Teenagers are more likely to become pregnant than any other age group and it behooves the couple to make use of all three. If not the pill or patch, then at least the other two.
Ask both to read these articles more than once and to discuss between them what they've learned.
As for informing your parents, only you can be the judge of this and whether or not it is the thing to do.
.... and have your sister read Am I Ready for Sex? in sexual health: women
My three year older sister was a great resource when I started about that age. Through her, our aunt, who had helped her when she got started was the primary source of my education and safety. My sister and I even shared protection supplies until she left for university.
That depends upon your parents. Think about it. What have they told you about sex? How do they handle exposure to risque or sexy scenes in the media? What seems to be their opinion on sex education in school and so on? How do they react to the current run of teenage girls' fashions?
It is difficult for most people to STFU when they witness anything - even adults. So it is best that YOU learn NOW - to seriously consider consequences. Do NOT try to justify speaking because "it is for her own good". Because it may not be. The outcome could be horrendous. Also remember that your sister will never forgive nor forget that you ratted her out and will always question your motives for doing anything forevermore.
TALK TO YOUR SISTER. Ask your sister if BCPs and condoms were used. If so, then fine, say nothing to no one. If NOT, then you had better send her here to us - so she can learn better.
Do not be thinking your sister is running into trouble. She's doing pretty much what other 15 yr olds do. She's exploring. As long as she doing it safely and with due concern for the pregnancy and health issues involved - she's fine.
[QUOTE=Brandye;237514]
My three year older sister was a great resource when I started about that age. Through her, our aunt, who had helped her when she got started was the primary source of my education and safety. My sister and I even shared protection supplies until she left for university.[/QUOTE]
I've unfortunately :eek: heard my sister moaning a few times when my parents have been out, when guys have been with her. She's on bc that I know cuz we share a bathroom. As one of the posts says if she's old enough then that's her choice. But what I'd wish when she thinks about that is too do it when I'm not around like I do! That way I wouldn't feel strange. Plus I've seen a vibrator in the shower that I used once! My sister has no idea about being secretive! I could spill beans to my parents like no tomorrow. But she's "old" enough to make her own decisions. I just wish she'd think about thinking when and where she does/leaves her own things....
That's what I'd like to pass on to anyone who's in a sexual relationship and doesn't want to get caught. BE CAUTIOUS AND THINK ABOUT WHEN'S A GOOD TIME TO HAVE SEX AT HOME....WHEN NO ONE'S AROUND. Also don't leave personal items around where your siblings/parents can find them (and then be mortified like I was). I had an instance happen to me a while back. My gf and I had had sex when I was alone in the house. I disposed of the condom in our garbage and thought I was in the clear....WRONG! Some animals dug through our garbage that night and the bag got ripped. My dad went to work that morning and as looked out the window I saw the condom wrapper on the driveway as well as the condom! I quickly ran out and grabbed them both and shoved them in the new garbage bag and my parents never knew anything. I was so relieved!
So she should consider your feelings and rather than being open and honest, she should be secretive? I know, you'd prefer I use the word discreet and you do have a point - but only just.
Your feelings are your responsibility. You can choose to control them or you can choose to let them control you. It is not her job to keep you from 'feeling strange'.
However, from the stand point of having good manners, she really should be tidier with her things and more careful about her liasons.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;246051]So she should consider your feelings and rather than being open and honest, she should be secretive? I know, you'd prefer I use the word discreet and you do have a point - but only just.
Your feelings are your responsibility. You can choose to control them or you can choose to let them control you. It is not her job to keep you from 'feeling strange'.
However, from the stand point of having good manners, she really should be tidier with her things and more careful about her liasons.[/QUOTE]
we have a problem like that with my dads partner, its not a very soundproof house and myself and my sister do need to sleep at night in order to go to work in the morning !
I have a step sister that is very cute and makes lots of noise. Over the last few years we started to catch each other fucking and playing. She would date my friends and i would date some of her friends. After a while we talked . Why hide it I said? She said true. After that we started to fuck in the same rooms sometimes.The next day we would talk about it . She said it made her wet to watch me stroking my dick or fucking someone.
I told her that I watched her when we were kids and I would jerk off. We never had sex with each other .I still get hard and jerk off when she is getting fucked in the next room .
Some of my past flames like to hear her fucking while we are doing the same.
Well not sure I'd want to watch, she is just5 a selfish woman particularly after a drink. As it happens I used to "go out" with her daughter, we'd often have an unoffial swap, my dad would go to her mum and she would come to me but I eventually fell out of seeing her as i was getting fed up with being the "spare bit" she could be noisy too but had the decency to keep it quiet if we were not alone
[QUOTE=duh477;237498]I caught my15 year old sis trying to have sex in our basement with a boy her age. Should I tell my parents?[/QUOTE]
whatever she do, you have to interfere in her life.. Because she is your sis..
and you have to tell her the limit and the perfect age of sex..even you older than her..and tell her right thing to do and be a frank with her...behave like friend with her..
[quote]i'm a devout christian (so you may not like my opinion)[/quote]
Odd thing to say... Your believes are irrelevant to me whenever I read your post... Unless you would have justified your answer to this question by 'cause God told me so'...
Dear onlyformygirl, Welcome to this forum and simply feel free to express yourself! :)
[quote]i think yes rat her out, she has no business having sex[/quote]
We are talking about a 15-year old sis (perhaps even 16 by now, cause it's an old thread ;)). Considering your other post in which you state that you live at your family and are "too young to go to an "adult" store" I wonder how old you are yourself... Maybe it's a bit faul of me pointing this out, sorry for that! :o Age does not make your answer less valid, but you know... Well, I'm just simply curious...
Because whichever way she decides to go, she will be blasting her relationship with her sister to hell and back. Now, when their parents are dead and gone, she will have only this sister so "thinking of the future" and what's likely to be in store for this family - the OP needs to think this situation through - completely - BEFORE she does anything. Because her sister will remember this.
What does she hope to achieve here?
Will telling her parents achieve that?
Is she protecting her sister, does her sister need her protection, why and from what?
Is she jealous and a rival of her sister for her parents' love and attention? Does she want to be 'the good daughter'?
Does she fear her sister will go be damned for having sex prior to marriage?
MOTIVE MATTERS and if the OP is not 'pristine' in her motives then she's damned for what she will do regardless of what she does.
Talking with her sister is the second step, not the first. The first is answering my questions and making sure her motives are pristine.
[QUOTE=RedRoses;257576]Odd thing to say... Your believes are irrelevant to me whenever I read your post... Unless you would have justified your answer to this question by 'cause God told me so'...
Dear onlyformygirl, Welcome to this forum and simply feel free to express yourself! :)
We are talking about a 15-year old sis (perhaps even 16 by now, cause it's an old thread ;)). Considering your other post in which you state that you live at your family and are "too young to go to an "adult" store" I wonder how old you are yourself... Maybe it's a bit faul of me pointing this out, sorry for that! :o Age does not make your answer less valid, but you know... Well, I'm just simply curious...[/QUOTE]
ha, sweet, i was wondering if anybody would connect the two posts. while yes i did in another post talk about being to young to go to an adult store to get something, i never once said i have sex, i have very forcefully told my girlfriend that she could threaten to leave and i still wouldn't have sex with her.ever if it was my last day on earth i still wouldn't. i may be a teenager, but i am no where near stupid
[QUOTE=onlyformygirl;257606]ha, sweet, i was wondering if anybody would connect the two posts. while yes i did in another post talk about being to young to go to an adult store to get something, i never once said i have sex, i have very forcefully told my girlfriend that she could threaten to leave and i still wouldn't have sex with her.ever if it was my last day on earth i still wouldn't. i may be a teenager, but i am no where near stupid[/QUOTE]
Life tip of the day - always check your grammar before saying "I am not stupid."
[QUOTE=funinthesun;257608]Life tip of the day - always check your grammar before saying "I am not stupid."[/QUOTE]
? where did i mess up, aside from capitalization
[quote]ha, sweet, i was wondering if anybody would connect the two posts. while yes i did in another post talk about being to young to go to an adult store to get something, i never once said i have sex, i have very forcefully told my girlfriend that she could threaten to leave and i still wouldn't have sex with her.ever if it was my last day on earth i still wouldn't. i may be a teenager, but i am no where near stupid[/quote]
Never said you were stupid :) You don't have sex, but I didn't assume that you were. I assume you are in an intimate relationship with some degree of sexual activity since you're looking for a vibrator? Back to the hypothetical situation: You just see your babysister messing around. Is it really 'sex'? Or just some other sexual activity? I don't know about you, but usually: I don't stay around and watch if there is actual penis-vagina-contact...
Does that matter to the question? For some it probably does; probably does for you. So I'd expect you in this hypothetical to be more cautious than to just rat her out... And to follow EEK's post!
I'm sorry, but I just feel like you've jumped to conclusions in your first post... Other than that: I do hope you have fun with the vibrator! :) Maybe read posts from you again some time!
[quote]I like how my questions were ignored.[/quote]
EEK, maybe it just wasn't responded to ;) But I even like this last post of you better cause it really is the best answer there is to it!
I know I've been in similar situations and I've been asking such questions to myself again and again... Although things didn't always work out for the best, I have no regrets. As my goal was merely to help her :) and I genuinely thought in some situations my mom could. So I guess these answers matter to her, your parents and your own conscious.
Only if you feel that the fact that they are having sex is a danger to her, and that by telling your parents the danger would be averted, should you tell them.
As has already been mentioned, do your best to make sure they are using birth control
How on earth would having sex while a teenager be stupid?
1. if you picked the wrong person(s).
2. if you had sex without protection.
Otherwise now is the time to get some basic experience - when the parental safety net is there to catch you.
Willing to play around with a vibe and yet not willing to put himself in "danger" (actual intercourse) while not considering what he's doing as having sex? Cognitive dissonance much, buddy?
You just posted a reply to a thread in which the original poster has not been active in nearly a year.
This does not make your comment any less relevant in general, however, if you want to specifically address a comment to the o/p please check the date stamp as well as whether the person is still active on the site.
You're going to get people saying "no, stay out of it, it's her business not yours," but I think the possibility of her getting pregnant and bringing another baby in this world the parents can't support is more of a concern than you invading whatever God given right to privacy a 15 year old gets.
Wow that's a long sentence.
Unless you know she's on birth control, or the parents at least know she's very serious with this bf. I would suspect "your daughter is having sex" sounds a lot better to a parent than "your daughter is pregnant."
Are you older or younger?
Maybe just approach your sis and discuss things like BC/condoms and being safe.
Here are three articles found in the Index that your sister and her boyfriend should read and understand:
I'm Ready for SEX! (or am I?) I really want to do it.
What Can I/We Do To Prepare For First Time Intercourse?
Making Out--Knowing How Far To Go
To inform or not to inform your parents about this is a difficult situation. Here are some things to consider:
a) that you know she is using the pill or some other highly reliable
form of birth control
b) that you know for certain the b/f is using a condom
c) what are the house rules or expectations
If you are older, I would suggest asking her about how responsible she is with her own protection and in requiring the b/f to be equally responsible. Both of them need to look out for "Number One" (themselves) and then use a third form of protection as back up to the other two--a spermicide. Teenagers are more likely to become pregnant than any other age group and it behooves the couple to make use of all three. If not the pill or patch, then at least the other two.
Ask both to read these articles more than once and to discuss between them what they've learned.
As for informing your parents, only you can be the judge of this and whether or not it is the thing to do.
.... and have your sister read Am I Ready for Sex? in sexual health: women
My three year older sister was a great resource when I started about that age. Through her, our aunt, who had helped her when she got started was the primary source of my education and safety. My sister and I even shared protection supplies until she left for university.
That depends upon your parents. Think about it. What have they told you about sex? How do they handle exposure to risque or sexy scenes in the media? What seems to be their opinion on sex education in school and so on? How do they react to the current run of teenage girls' fashions?
It is difficult for most people to STFU when they witness anything - even adults. So it is best that YOU learn NOW - to seriously consider consequences. Do NOT try to justify speaking because "it is for her own good". Because it may not be. The outcome could be horrendous. Also remember that your sister will never forgive nor forget that you ratted her out and will always question your motives for doing anything forevermore.
TALK TO YOUR SISTER. Ask your sister if BCPs and condoms were used. If so, then fine, say nothing to no one. If NOT, then you had better send her here to us - so she can learn better.
Do not be thinking your sister is running into trouble. She's doing pretty much what other 15 yr olds do. She's exploring. As long as she doing it safely and with due concern for the pregnancy and health issues involved - she's fine.
Not 'old', arutha, OLDER. As in, the sister that's three years her senior.
[QUOTE=Brandye;237514]
My three year older sister was a great resource when I started about that age. Through her, our aunt, who had helped her when she got started was the primary source of my education and safety. My sister and I even shared protection supplies until she left for university.[/QUOTE]
Erm..... Your three year old sister?!?:confused:
I've unfortunately :eek: heard my sister moaning a few times when my parents have been out, when guys have been with her. She's on bc that I know cuz we share a bathroom. As one of the posts says if she's old enough then that's her choice. But what I'd wish when she thinks about that is too do it when I'm not around like I do! That way I wouldn't feel strange. Plus I've seen a vibrator in the shower that I used once! My sister has no idea about being secretive! I could spill beans to my parents like no tomorrow. But she's "old" enough to make her own decisions. I just wish she'd think about thinking when and where she does/leaves her own things....
That's what I'd like to pass on to anyone who's in a sexual relationship and doesn't want to get caught. BE CAUTIOUS AND THINK ABOUT WHEN'S A GOOD TIME TO HAVE SEX AT HOME....WHEN NO ONE'S AROUND. Also don't leave personal items around where your siblings/parents can find them (and then be mortified like I was). I had an instance happen to me a while back. My gf and I had had sex when I was alone in the house. I disposed of the condom in our garbage and thought I was in the clear....WRONG! Some animals dug through our garbage that night and the bag got ripped. My dad went to work that morning and as looked out the window I saw the condom wrapper on the driveway as well as the condom! I quickly ran out and grabbed them both and shoved them in the new garbage bag and my parents never knew anything. I was so relieved!
So she should consider your feelings and rather than being open and honest, she should be secretive? I know, you'd prefer I use the word discreet and you do have a point - but only just.
Your feelings are your responsibility. You can choose to control them or you can choose to let them control you. It is not her job to keep you from 'feeling strange'.
However, from the stand point of having good manners, she really should be tidier with her things and more careful about her liasons.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;246051]So she should consider your feelings and rather than being open and honest, she should be secretive? I know, you'd prefer I use the word discreet and you do have a point - but only just.
Your feelings are your responsibility. You can choose to control them or you can choose to let them control you. It is not her job to keep you from 'feeling strange'.
However, from the stand point of having good manners, she really should be tidier with her things and more careful about her liasons.[/QUOTE]
we have a problem like that with my dads partner, its not a very soundproof house and myself and my sister do need to sleep at night in order to go to work in the morning !
I have a step sister that is very cute and makes lots of noise. Over the last few years we started to catch each other fucking and playing. She would date my friends and i would date some of her friends. After a while we talked . Why hide it I said? She said true. After that we started to fuck in the same rooms sometimes.The next day we would talk about it . She said it made her wet to watch me stroking my dick or fucking someone.
I told her that I watched her when we were kids and I would jerk off. We never had sex with each other .I still get hard and jerk off when she is getting fucked in the next room .
Some of my past flames like to hear her fucking while we are doing the same.
Sex is normal.She might want you to watch?
Well not sure I'd want to watch, she is just5 a selfish woman particularly after a drink. As it happens I used to "go out" with her daughter, we'd often have an unoffial swap, my dad would go to her mum and she would come to me but I eventually fell out of seeing her as i was getting fed up with being the "spare bit" she could be noisy too but had the decency to keep it quiet if we were not alone
Yes. look its hard but you and i both know its the right thing to do
talk to your sister about it before telling your parents cause that way she'll know someone else knows and will consider her actions more
Talk to your Sister First, and have the correct information at hand. Maybe there is something you don't know that is going on with her. :rolleyes:
Also it depends on how much you care for her well being. ;)
Be her Friend First, and try not to be a brother First.:)
[QUOTE=duh477;237498]I caught my15 year old sis trying to have sex in our basement with a boy her age. Should I tell my parents?[/QUOTE]
whatever she do, you have to interfere in her life.. Because she is your sis..
and you have to tell her the limit and the perfect age of sex..even you older than her..and tell her right thing to do and be a frank with her...behave like friend with her..
best of luck
"I caught my15 year old sis trying to have sex in our basement with a boy her age. Should I tell my parents?"
What are you trying to achieve here?
Will telling your parents achieve that?
You should!
i'm a devout christian (so you may not like my opinion) i think yes rat her out, she has no business having sex
[quote]i'm a devout christian (so you may not like my opinion)[/quote]
Odd thing to say... Your believes are irrelevant to me whenever I read your post... Unless you would have justified your answer to this question by 'cause God told me so'...
Dear onlyformygirl, Welcome to this forum and simply feel free to express yourself! :)
[quote]i think yes rat her out, she has no business having sex[/quote]
We are talking about a 15-year old sis (perhaps even 16 by now, cause it's an old thread ;)). Considering your other post in which you state that you live at your family and are "too young to go to an "adult" store" I wonder how old you are yourself... Maybe it's a bit faul of me pointing this out, sorry for that! :o Age does not make your answer less valid, but you know... Well, I'm just simply curious...
I like how my questions were ignored.
My questions got to the heart of the matter.
Because whichever way she decides to go, she will be blasting her relationship with her sister to hell and back. Now, when their parents are dead and gone, she will have only this sister so "thinking of the future" and what's likely to be in store for this family - the OP needs to think this situation through - completely - BEFORE she does anything. Because her sister will remember this.
What does she hope to achieve here?
Will telling her parents achieve that?
Is she protecting her sister, does her sister need her protection, why and from what?
Is she jealous and a rival of her sister for her parents' love and attention? Does she want to be 'the good daughter'?
Does she fear her sister will go be damned for having sex prior to marriage?
MOTIVE MATTERS and if the OP is not 'pristine' in her motives then she's damned for what she will do regardless of what she does.
Talking with her sister is the second step, not the first. The first is answering my questions and making sure her motives are pristine.
[QUOTE=RedRoses;257576]Odd thing to say... Your believes are irrelevant to me whenever I read your post... Unless you would have justified your answer to this question by 'cause God told me so'...
Dear onlyformygirl, Welcome to this forum and simply feel free to express yourself! :)
We are talking about a 15-year old sis (perhaps even 16 by now, cause it's an old thread ;)). Considering your other post in which you state that you live at your family and are "too young to go to an "adult" store" I wonder how old you are yourself... Maybe it's a bit faul of me pointing this out, sorry for that! :o Age does not make your answer less valid, but you know... Well, I'm just simply curious...[/QUOTE]
ha, sweet, i was wondering if anybody would connect the two posts. while yes i did in another post talk about being to young to go to an adult store to get something, i never once said i have sex, i have very forcefully told my girlfriend that she could threaten to leave and i still wouldn't have sex with her.ever if it was my last day on earth i still wouldn't. i may be a teenager, but i am no where near stupid
[QUOTE=onlyformygirl;257606]ha, sweet, i was wondering if anybody would connect the two posts. while yes i did in another post talk about being to young to go to an adult store to get something, i never once said i have sex, i have very forcefully told my girlfriend that she could threaten to leave and i still wouldn't have sex with her.ever if it was my last day on earth i still wouldn't. i may be a teenager, but i am no where near stupid[/QUOTE]
Life tip of the day - always check your grammar before saying "I am not stupid."
[QUOTE=funinthesun;257608]Life tip of the day - always check your grammar before saying "I am not stupid."[/QUOTE]
? where did i mess up, aside from capitalization
[quote]ha, sweet, i was wondering if anybody would connect the two posts. while yes i did in another post talk about being to young to go to an adult store to get something, i never once said i have sex, i have very forcefully told my girlfriend that she could threaten to leave and i still wouldn't have sex with her.ever if it was my last day on earth i still wouldn't. i may be a teenager, but i am no where near stupid[/quote]
Never said you were stupid :) You don't have sex, but I didn't assume that you were. I assume you are in an intimate relationship with some degree of sexual activity since you're looking for a vibrator? Back to the hypothetical situation: You just see your babysister messing around. Is it really 'sex'? Or just some other sexual activity? I don't know about you, but usually: I don't stay around and watch if there is actual penis-vagina-contact...
Does that matter to the question? For some it probably does; probably does for you. So I'd expect you in this hypothetical to be more cautious than to just rat her out... And to follow EEK's post!
I'm sorry, but I just feel like you've jumped to conclusions in your first post... Other than that: I do hope you have fun with the vibrator! :) Maybe read posts from you again some time!
[quote]I like how my questions were ignored.[/quote]
EEK, maybe it just wasn't responded to ;) But I even like this last post of you better cause it really is the best answer there is to it!
I know I've been in similar situations and I've been asking such questions to myself again and again... Although things didn't always work out for the best, I have no regrets. As my goal was merely to help her :) and I genuinely thought in some situations my mom could. So I guess these answers matter to her, your parents and your own conscious.
Only if you feel that the fact that they are having sex is a danger to her, and that by telling your parents the danger would be averted, should you tell them.
As has already been mentioned, do your best to make sure they are using birth control
How on earth would having sex while a teenager be stupid?
1. if you picked the wrong person(s).
2. if you had sex without protection.
Otherwise now is the time to get some basic experience - when the parental safety net is there to catch you.
Willing to play around with a vibe and yet not willing to put himself in "danger" (actual intercourse) while not considering what he's doing as having sex? Cognitive dissonance much, buddy?
First you should make her understand, because in this is it's normal.
No should make her understand. do not share with your parents.
you should not tell your father about your sis. let the enjoy her.
tellyour parents
You just posted a reply to a thread in which the original poster has not been active in nearly a year.
This does not make your comment any less relevant in general, however, if you want to specifically address a comment to the o/p please check the date stamp as well as whether the person is still active on the site.
-doc