Hi i know this topic has been brought up time and time again, but i just want some advice.
I'm 17 years old and i have slept with one person. Anyway the only person i slept with was a girl i was with just after i was 16. The first time we did it i didn't really have any problems, however the second time it just didn't seem to happen. I was perfectly hard until i went to put on the condom and it took me an age to get it on as it was been very awkward 
By the time i had done this my erection had gone, and as hard as i tried the erection just would not come back. Anyway since then (around a year and a half i seem to be having psycological problems ( welll i hope it's only in my head!). As im not a relationship kind of person i haven't had a girlfriend since then, i've obviiously made out with a lot of girls but never been serious enough to actually go all the way with them. Anyway up until this very day, the day i "shut down" is still haunting me. Sometimes the worry goes away for a while but i can guarentee it will come back. Anyway since that failiure, i have masturbated regularly and on some occasions i have maintained a full erection, however if i'm in one of the stages where i'm thinking about it then even when i masturbate i can only get a semi erection, i seem to sometimes treat masturbation (in my mind) as a test to see if i can actually get a hard on.
As time has gone by i have become more and more anxious as more and more things make me think it could be more than in my head. When i was around the age of 14 all a girl had to do was touch my hand and it would shoot up like a rocket, and when i masturbated it would also fly up within a few seconds. While now it takes a lot more to be aroused, is this natrual that as you get older you aren't turned on as quickly as your early teens or is there something wrong with me?! This is also jammed in my mind and i think this may also be causing my anxiety!
So i'm just wondering is this problem all in my head or is there something physically wrong with me? I'm inclined to believe it is in my mind, i don't know if this is coincidence but if i think about not being able to perofrm before i sleep i will not wake up with an erection, while if i don't think about it i seem to get an erection on a morning.
Also when i've made out with girls since, my penis has got at least semi erect and i have felt that it would go up if i was to go any further, but despite this, by a few days later i will once again be struggling for an erection and beginning to once again worry about not being able to get the job done when in a sexual situation. For all i know, the next time i go to have sex i could do it, but for some reason in my mind i seem to believe i won't be able to .
So is this (crosses fingers) just an anxiety problem? and if so what can i do to cure it?
I think that was my problem when it happened., As soon as it wouldn't go on and i lost it, i completely freaked out, but looking back i never need to. She wasn't even bothered becuase obviously unlike me she understood that it could have happened to anyone. I never had a chance to rectify the situation becuase we split up soon afterwards ( not over that lol, we were on the verge of splitting up anyway) and i think the fact i haven't had the chance to put it right has just made me panic.
You have no idea how much you have helped me
Hi ya'll,
I'm going to add a little "condom" advice here. We've all (guys) had that "awkward" moment of stopping to put on a condom. And yes, you can lose anything from a little hardness to everything!
Next time, try this... Make putting on the condom part of sex. For instance, let her (or him
) put the condom on for you. Make it sexy. It's really fun to put it on with your mouth... ahem...lol.
Anyway, just have fun with it. Most importantly if you lose your erection, laugh it off... it just means you get to have the fun of bringing it back up. Sort of, "Oh darn... I guess this means we have to start from the beginning."
Meanwhile, there is another whole person there. Concentrate on them while you get back into things.
Relax and take your time. Don't think about anything, it should be, fly at the seat of your pants, not stressful....you're not planning a wedding, your screwing. Don't think, just do and go slow.
[QUOTE=Quote (Alspals69 @ Feb. 21 2005,15:20)]If it helps i have had the same problem at some point. The more i worried over it the worse it was. One day i forgot to be worried about it and everything was fine. I'd be very suprised if it wasn't in your head.[/QUOTE]
That really is like music to my ears
Thanks guys
Glad to be of some help!
hi! im guessing, like the other board members have said, that it IS in fact, psychological. you kno the feeling when u go up on a stage to talk or perform for someone, and ur voice gets all tense and ur throat feels like its closing? and then the more and more you think about it, the tighter and tenser you get? it seems to me like this is wuts happenin to u. u start out worrying about it...so it doesnt happen, then u worry more and more because it still wont happen, so ur doing it to urself! just relax!!
xoxo-mariah
If it helps i have had the same problem at some point. The more i worried over it the worse it was. One day i forgot to be worried about it and everything was fine. I'd be very suprised if it wasn't in your head.
Maybe try practicing putting on a condom when you're by yourself. That way when the day comes when you need to use one you'll feel more prepared and that will take away some of the worry.
[QUOTE=Quote (iamawesum69420 @ Feb. 21 2005,12:46)]It sounds to me like it's more a psychological thing. Just relax and let things happen. Don't be all stressed out thinking you just have to get an erection. If you're focused on it like that and all these negative thoughts are in your mind chance are it's not going to happen. This also happens when guys concentrate too much on cumming too soon. 9 times outta 10 if they think and worry about it too much their worst fear will happen. So just relax and have fun. Sex is supposed to be an enjoyable time not a stressful time.[/QUOTE]
Like you say i think i just need to learn to relax, and enjoy it instead of simply focusing on getting an erection. Also as i said in my first post, since that awful day when the condom wouldn't work with me i haven't actually been in that situation again, so hopefully it is simply something just stuck in my head 
Thanks for the advice
It sounds to me like it's more a psychological thing. Just relax and let things happen. Don't be all stressed out thinking you just have to get an erection. If you're focused on it like that and all these negative thoughts are in your mind chance are it's not going to happen. This also happens when guys concentrate too much on cumming too soon. 9 times outta 10 if they think and worry about it too much their worst fear will happen. So just relax and have fun. Sex is supposed to be an enjoyable time not a stressful time.