Sounds more like it is his problem, since it hasn't been just you but with his previous gf's too, so this is his issue to solve. You can help but the ideas have to come from him. You can't just jump right on into hand/blowjobs, he needs foreplay too. Try following the checklist outlined in the sticky post The Program found elsewhere on this forum with you 'leading'. Tell hi to clear his mind of all anxiety and to just let the orgasm come - relax and enjoy!

BTW yes we have answered this issue before.

This has been asked and answered many times in the forums and is why there are search engines plus the Index containing articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about and found at the top of the main screen.

If it is anything like women who have probelms reaching orgasm, then the problem is likely in his head.

There is nothing like anxiety about whether you will have an orgasm to stop your orgasm in its tracks.

Stop trying. Stop putting pressure on him by making his orgasm such a big deal. Right now he feels like he's failing at sex because you want so badly to make the destination the ONLY important part of sex. Allow him to relax and enjoy the journey.

If he has to finish himself off, so what? He had fun for the rest of the evening up to that point, and that's the main thing.

Now, once you have his orgasm out of the painful spotlight, give EEKs program a go to make sure everyone is properly warmed up before sex.

> We have sex, i give him blow and hand jobs and all get the reaction that he is enjoying it but I still have not managed to do it. He ends up having to wank himself off.

And therein lies the clue....

> > If it is anything like women who have probelms reaching orgasm, then the problem is likely in his head.

You may be correct, llovell, although, not because "it is anything like a women...."

Males and females of the species all masturbate in generally the same basic way for their respective gender; however, shortly after learning how each of us continues to experiment and modify ultimately coming up with a technique that is uniquely ours. (To each his/her own.) Without any feedback from your boyfriend, you tend to stimulate him in a way that is different than what he does by himself, AND with much more intensity! As noted, this is not a bad thing. He is enjoying what you are doing, although, it is not the type of stimulation he has come to rely upon to trigger an orgasm.

As explained in at least one article listed in the Index found at the top of the main screen, the key is to pause for a few moments an let him slide back down his arousal curve to a point below his trigger point. Next, restart the stroking and ask for feedback {verbal &/or non-verbal) on how he is responding to your caresses and for what he needs now/next.

Actually, before you do this, ask him to demonstrate how he masturbates and to take your hand in his and move it as he does. Do this several times over the course of a few sessions until you learn to mimic his technique.

-doc

Doc gives good insight but Evil is spot ON: His problem, not yours. If he wants to get this resolved, it is up to him and you are not responsible.