Okay, where do I start? I'm a guy, I guess that's a good starting point. I have a girlfriend who I'm crazy about, been with her for well over a year and things are still awesome between us. But the one problem has always been the sex. Okay, it's more like a series of problems.

She was a fairly sexually active girl before she met me, whereas I had really only been with a few girls before her. In my experience, I was able to give all of them orgasms during sex with only a little manual stimulation here and there (I've always suspected that one of them was just putting on a show, unless having 5+ orgasms in a half an hour can be considered normal - she was extremely wet all the time, and seemed to be very sexually oriented, so I could never really tell). Now, with this girl, I just feel incompetent. Size-wise I've never been too self-conscious; I'm about 8 inches long and a little over 3 inches "girth-wise," so I guess I could benefit from a little extra girth but I never really gave it much thought before.

So, here it is. I guess we've had sex a few hundred times now; like I said, it's been over a year. She's exceptionally tight compared to the other girls I've slept with and "done other things" with. As in, it's hard for me to fit 2 fingers inside of her, and at first I actually had a little bit of difficulty with the initial penetration in some positions. Also, she rarely gets particularly wet. By that I mean, there will never be more than maybe a small wet spot on her panties, even when she seems to be extremely excited, or after I've given her an orgasm by going down on her. Speaking of which, it tends to take about 10 minutes for her to cum during oral sex, sometimes a little bit more or less, but that's been my primary means of giving her pleasure. The good news is I'm crazy about eating pussy, but that doesn't really help with the primary problem - I make her cum during sex less than 10% of the time, and the times when I do is only after we've been going at it for a minimum of 20 minutes and I've been "masturbating" her basically the entire time. One of the problems with that is I usually don't last much longer than 20 minutes, with particular exceptions like if I masturbate beforehand, in which case the sex isn't as good for me anyway. I guess it's kind of a give-and-take thing. Now, it's very common for her to be on the verge of cumming for almost the entire time we have sex, but bringing her over the edge is where the problem always seems to be. It all comes back to me going down on her after I finish, which is when she'll finally cum... for the most part.

There are times when it's placed a bit of strain on the relationship, and where she's made me aware that the sex just isn't that good for her a lot of the time. I've tried asking her questions, "how's this feel, do you prefer this or this," and tried to change things around to make it more interesting. But that's where the problem just gets worse. She won't try most sexual positions because they're either too awkward, or because they don't feel intimate for her. No rear entry whatsoever, nothing acrobatic, etc. She won't touch herself during sex, and during some (of the few available) positions it just isn't that easy for me to touch her, but the responsibility falls on me anyway. She doesn't do ANYTHING during sex, except when she's on top, in which case she does the following: Up, down. Up, down. In other words, she lies there in one of a select few pre-chosen positions, and waits for me to make her cum, which just doesn't happen. Finally, there's the excitement factor. We met on vacation, then we had trysts at each other's places, and then we lived in separate dorms in the same building at the same school - during those times, it was kinda easy to have something spontaneous and exciting. But nowadays, she lives at home and I live with a roommate, we both have full schedules between work and school, and sex has almost become routine. Okay, dinner's done, we'll find an excuse, go upstairs, have a routine amount of foreplay, make love for a routine amount of time in a routine position, and then take our routine shower. This has only made it worse for both of us.

In conclusion, I'm with a girl who I'm crazy about, and who in almost every regard makes me feel wonderful, we have lots of fun together, and to a lot of people we seem like the perfect couple. But our sex life is downright terrible, and I just really need to hear something from somebody, anybody, that'll make me feel like maybe it doesn't have to be this way. I can't really talk to my friends about it, and I've talked to her a little about it over the months, but I don't want to say too much and come across as negative and potentially make our sex life even worse. So if any of you have had the energy to read this ridiculously long e-mail, is there any advice you can offer? Just bear in mind, she is not very open to the idea of new positions or touching herself. I've never really talked to her about the idea of toys because that's always felt to me like crossing the line into the weird/kinky, although I guess at this point I'd try anything. I've been traumatized by movies, friends and family stories, and don't want a year and a half of mediocre sex to turn into having a girlfriend who sleeps with other guys to get what she can't get with me. It's bad enough finding the showerhead on the "massage" setting after anytime we take separate showers...

Edit -> I guess I didn't really write too much about this, but I think we do very erotic things. Full-body massages (Usually I'm the giver), lots of caressing, nibbling, little licking here and there, all that good stuff. So when I say we have "routine foreplay," I've always felt that we do pretty cool stuff, it's just that at this point it's all been done before and it doesn't really seem to make that much of a difference anyway.