> maybe when i masturbate her..instead of trying to masturbate the clit with one or two fingers just take all my fingers and rub everywhere so theres a bigger chance of me not loosing it because my hand is everywhere?
If you go back and read my posts for the past few weeks you will find that nearly every day I address this matter. Once again, here's the deal:
Ask her to demonstrate for you how she masturbates so you can visualize the movements she uses. Next, ask her to guide your fingers several times until you learn to mimic her unique and specific movements, rhythms, pressures, and temp. In addition, encourage her to give you feedback on how she is responding to your caresses. Her feedback can be verbal whispers or non-verbal forms of body english like a squeeze of the hand that the two of you work out to convey specific meaning(s).
We do not give orgasms away. Each one of us is responsible for our own orgasms. If you think about it, you have developed a "script" for how you masturbate. Same for her. Even though we know the basics involved in fingering a clitoris and stroking a penis, each one of us has developed "fine art" to this that must be taught to our partner. If you don't, chances are that you'll get it right about half the time. With something so imporant, who wants this as a batting average?
So, ask her to not only guide your movements with her hand until you learn to mimic what she does, but also to tell you where you need to apply your caresses. Your are not far off the mark because often the clitoris becomes too sensitive to touch, or, better results are had if you finger adjacent areas like the labia, shaft, or nearby areas that indirectly stimulate the clitoris.
Good question, that. Let's do some extrapolating. If each of us is responsible for our own orgasms and we have developed a specific way of bringing them about (the "fine art") that is unique to each of us even though we all use basically the same stroking or fingering actions, then if we bring pleasure to our partner as exquisite as this may be, if we are off the mark just a bit the resulting orgasm will either not happen or will often be less than desired. Such is the case with oral stimulation and/or hand jobs that can really excite us yet not trigger an orgasm.
This can happen with oral stimulation to either the male or female. In fact it is often possible to work a person up to such a state of arousal, excitement, and sexual tension that exceeds the level required to trigger an orgasm, yet it isn't triggered because the cues (method) is not what we have come to reply upon over time. The matter is complicated further if we do not give our partner feedbck (verbal or non-verbal) on how we are responding to their caress and for what we may need now.
The bottom line is that hand jobs and oral stimulation will take us directly to nirvana whether on the slow track or the fast track. The results are the same. We achieve a level of excitement equal to and sometimes much more intense than that necessary to trigger an orgasm yet the climax is sidetracked because the stimulation is not quite what we require. So, while we can drive our partner wild with desire, passion, and anticipation, what is required is to slide back down the arousal curve and switch tracks to what s/he requires to bring about their orgasm.
It is definitely possible to get a person off via oral stimulation; however, it is best accomplished if they offer some guidence by way of providing feedback. In the case of us guys, we often require the "dynamic duo"--a combination of oral stimulation and a hand stimulation.
A woman's orgasm is not the be all end all to making love. If she wants them and you can help her achieve them, fine. Women report that a lot of the times they do not miss not having one; it is the intimacy they share that is important and satisfying. Think about this and do not be all that disappointed if she does not have an orgasm. There can be contributing factors that prevent her from having an orgasm, also, such as distractions or the fear of being discovered, so be mindful of these issues.
Ask her what you do that she enjoys. Ask her also what you do that specifically moves her closer to achieving an orgasm. Then, ask her for feedback so you can modulate or make any midcourse corrections that she may require. If you are unsuccessful, know that you prbably drove her wild and took her to new levels of excitement, yet you will have to resort to fingering to actually help he trigger them. Not a bad night's work if you ask me, regardless of the outcome.
--------
With the possible exception of an orgasm not being the be all for a guy, everything else, above, holds true for us.
If you want to try and experience a hightend state of pleasure, ask her to just give you oral, or, to lubricate her hands and lightly stroke your penis gliding over the surface using a very light touch and grazing action (without gripping and moving the skin within her grasp). If you want to up the ante', ask her to slightly cup her hand and use the palm in a way that simulates polishing a doorknob. If she rubs the Glans in this manner, I can pretty much guarantee that you will be transported to new and far more intense levels of pleasure. Will you climax? Maybe not; therefore, pause, slide back down the scale until the sense of urgency disappears and then use the stroking action you have come to rely upon--offering feedback and guiding her movements in the beginning if required.
Now, I want to hear responses from the women amoung us.
I can see making love (read: the entire process) for two hours, but oral sex, only?! Fifteen minutes or more? Tired, bored, and sore, are words that come to mind.
Dancing Doc: You got it. This is why women fake orgasms - get it over with!
BadGuy: Read around, for godsake, you cannot MAKE your girlfriend have an orgasm. Her orgasm is her responsibility; yours is yours. The sooner men realize that women are people who do not depend on you for all good things, the sonner both men ana women will learn to enjoy lovemaking as compared to Having sex.
> maybe when i masturbate her..instead of trying to masturbate the clit with one or two fingers just take all my fingers and rub everywhere so theres a bigger chance of me not loosing it because my hand is everywhere?
If you go back and read my posts for the past few weeks you will find that nearly every day I address this matter. Once again, here's the deal:
Ask her to demonstrate for you how she masturbates so you can visualize the movements she uses. Next, ask her to guide your fingers several times until you learn to mimic her unique and specific movements, rhythms, pressures, and temp. In addition, encourage her to give you feedback on how she is responding to your caresses. Her feedback can be verbal whispers or non-verbal forms of body english like a squeeze of the hand that the two of you work out to convey specific meaning(s).
We do not give orgasms away. Each one of us is responsible for our own orgasms. If you think about it, you have developed a "script" for how you masturbate. Same for her. Even though we know the basics involved in fingering a clitoris and stroking a penis, each one of us has developed "fine art" to this that must be taught to our partner. If you don't, chances are that you'll get it right about half the time. With something so imporant, who wants this as a batting average?
So, ask her to not only guide your movements with her hand until you learn to mimic what she does, but also to tell you where you need to apply your caresses. Your are not far off the mark because often the clitoris becomes too sensitive to touch, or, better results are had if you finger adjacent areas like the labia, shaft, or nearby areas that indirectly stimulate the clitoris.
and when i eat her out?
Good question, that. Let's do some extrapolating. If each of us is responsible for our own orgasms and we have developed a specific way of bringing them about (the "fine art") that is unique to each of us even though we all use basically the same stroking or fingering actions, then if we bring pleasure to our partner as exquisite as this may be, if we are off the mark just a bit the resulting orgasm will either not happen or will often be less than desired. Such is the case with oral stimulation and/or hand jobs that can really excite us yet not trigger an orgasm.
This can happen with oral stimulation to either the male or female. In fact it is often possible to work a person up to such a state of arousal, excitement, and sexual tension that exceeds the level required to trigger an orgasm, yet it isn't triggered because the cues (method) is not what we have come to reply upon over time. The matter is complicated further if we do not give our partner feedbck (verbal or non-verbal) on how we are responding to their caress and for what we may need now.
The bottom line is that hand jobs and oral stimulation will take us directly to nirvana whether on the slow track or the fast track. The results are the same. We achieve a level of excitement equal to and sometimes much more intense than that necessary to trigger an orgasm yet the climax is sidetracked because the stimulation is not quite what we require. So, while we can drive our partner wild with desire, passion, and anticipation, what is required is to slide back down the arousal curve and switch tracks to what s/he requires to bring about their orgasm.
It is definitely possible to get a person off via oral stimulation; however, it is best accomplished if they offer some guidence by way of providing feedback. In the case of us guys, we often require the "dynamic duo"--a combination of oral stimulation and a hand stimulation.
A woman's orgasm is not the be all end all to making love. If she wants them and you can help her achieve them, fine. Women report that a lot of the times they do not miss not having one; it is the intimacy they share that is important and satisfying. Think about this and do not be all that disappointed if she does not have an orgasm. There can be contributing factors that prevent her from having an orgasm, also, such as distractions or the fear of being discovered, so be mindful of these issues.
Ask her what you do that she enjoys. Ask her also what you do that specifically moves her closer to achieving an orgasm. Then, ask her for feedback so you can modulate or make any midcourse corrections that she may require. If you are unsuccessful, know that you prbably drove her wild and took her to new levels of excitement, yet you will have to resort to fingering to actually help he trigger them. Not a bad night's work if you ask me, regardless of the outcome.
--------
With the possible exception of an orgasm not being the be all for a guy, everything else, above, holds true for us.
If you want to try and experience a hightend state of pleasure, ask her to just give you oral, or, to lubricate her hands and lightly stroke your penis gliding over the surface using a very light touch and grazing action (without gripping and moving the skin within her grasp). If you want to up the ante', ask her to slightly cup her hand and use the palm in a way that simulates polishing a doorknob. If she rubs the Glans in this manner, I can pretty much guarantee that you will be transported to new and far more intense levels of pleasure. Will you climax? Maybe not; therefore, pause, slide back down the scale until the sense of urgency disappears and then use the stroking action you have come to rely upon--offering feedback and guiding her movements in the beginning if required.
i didnt read all of dancingdocs reply, but try going down on your gf for longer than 15mins even make it 2 hours if you have to.
Now, I want to hear responses from the women amoung us.
I can see making love (read: the entire process) for two hours, but oral sex, only?! Fifteen minutes or more? Tired, bored, and sore, are words that come to mind.
Dancing Doc: You got it. This is why women fake orgasms - get it over with!
BadGuy: Read around, for godsake, you cannot MAKE your girlfriend have an orgasm. Her orgasm is her responsibility; yours is yours. The sooner men realize that women are people who do not depend on you for all good things, the sonner both men ana women will learn to enjoy lovemaking as compared to Having sex.
I believe this is a reply deemed worthy of a skicky post.