I am twenty years old and I've been very sexually active with my girlfriend.
Usually we try to have it two or three times, or just whenever we can.
My problem is that by usually the second or third time around, I have a problem keeping it up.
The first time we have sex is no problem at all. However, the second time, I can start off well, but then it dwindles and my erection disappears. I don't understand it because I know I still want to have sex, and I love my girlfriend dearly, so I know it is not her either.
She isn't getting dry, as I've read on previous posts here, so I know that is not the case.
I don't know if there is something chemically wrong with me, or maybe I just cannot perform as well the second time because my body doesn't allow it so quickly after. (Quickly being any where from 10 minutes to 30 minutes after the first sex session)
But if that's the case, why is that?
If not, what else could it be?
Could I just be too exhausted to perform again? Is it psychological?


Hello Bammer. Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. Please read through the Index and the Posting Guidelines shown at the top you your main page in the Board Notices section.
> My problem is that by usually the second or third time around, I have a problem keeping it up. The first time we have sex is no problem at all. However, the second time, I can start off well, but then it dwindles and my erection disappears.
How are you building your sexual arousal and tension each time, particularly the second and third times? If you are doing lots and Lots and LOTS and LOTS of stroking in order to excite yourself and trigger an orgasm then you are not going about this correctly. Stroking maintains a preexisting high level of arousal and thrusting peaks it and triggers an orgasm. Ideally, intercourse should not begin until you have been brought to the brink of an orgasm yet can still maintain control in order to move around and into position by the actions of Foreplay that precedes intercourse. Beginning with fooling around (Necking, Petting, etc.) and moving on to include Foreplay, later, is the proper way to build ardor. If you have not been doing it this way then switch tactics.
> I don't know if there is something chemically wrong with me, or maybe I just cannot perform as well the second time because my body doesn't allow it so quickly after. (Quickly being any where from 10 minutes to 30 minutes after the first sex session). But if that's the case, why is that?
Please read the information in Chapter Four of this article. You will have to scroll down through the article:
MORE: From bungling student to graduating Lover Cum Laude
Each of us has a built-in recovery period after having a climax. It varies by individual and age, and generally ranges from ten minutes to half an hour. This phase is known as the "Refractory Period". During this period of time a fella may or may not loose is erection; however, if some mild making out (kissing and caressing and not foreplay) continues, he will generally maintain a moderate amount of sexual arousal so that if another one or two orgasms are desired (multiple orgasms) then he won't have to start over from scratch.
The recovery period for women is dramatically shorter, usually only moments to a few minutes. Also, women can often enjoy many many more orgasms than guys. So, if it is desired to have multiple orgasms, one good plan is to help her enjoy as many as she wants (before, during, and in the interim), and perhaps pacing them so that one or more is timed to go along with one or more of yours when the time comes.
> If not, what else could it be? Could I just be too exhausted to perform again? Is it psychological?
I rather doubt it is psychological. Once in a while we can be too tired or exhausted for whatever reasons; although my bet is that your problem is one of methodology, as described above.
I hope this is of help. Got questions?
I know why - and the answer's very simple.
You are DEHYDRATED.
The cure is to drink lots of water beforehand and then lesser amounts in between 'bouts' while you're resting up.
Penises depend upon hydraulics and your water intake directly affects your hydraulics.
So before you get all twisted around the axle, drink water.
Doc talks about the refractory period, when you guys are fooling around, just performing oral or manual stimulation, are you able to go a second or third time as easily? I know that dehydration affects me a lot, but if i dont give myself enough rest time, (usually about 10 to 15 minutes) or im not turned on enough, i lose my erection fairly easily.
Resting up is important and dehydration has massive effects but when revving your engines up again - go right for more body worship. It works! Using body worship I can get 4 complete erections/orgasms out of a 50 year old man in 45 minutes flat - so you young bucks should be able to do at least that! Of course he can't walk or talk afterwards or remember his name but - hey! - he enjoyed it! LOL Actually, they all enjoyed it - tis my favorite "experiment"!
> if i dont give myself enough rest time, (usually about 10 to 15 minutes) or im not turned on enough, i lose my erection fairly easily.
This is a comment that a lot of guys and a few gals mention time and again and I do not know what to make of it. So a fella looses his erection, it's not a big deal. Think of and consider the fun you can have rebuilding it in preparation for the next round. In all the books I've read there is nothing that says making love has to stop when the erection goes away. If it does, fall back and begin making out again and then add foreplay when the time is right and get him back up to speed and on the brink of another climax before engaging in intercourse.
The same thing holds for masturbation. If a guy needs to or wants to have a second or third climax and he looses his erection, just do what it takes to reestablish it.
Shucks, in a few decades when spontaneous erections are a thing of the past, you will be making love beginning with a limp penis.