Hey guys, looking for some advice.
I've started having sex with my girlfriend but often it is extremely difficult for me to get my penis inside her. It is reasonably erect but I just cant push it in. She is extremely wet, but it just wont fit through the hole. I don't think my penis is particularly large either. Also, when fingering her I can't fit more than one finger into her vagina.
Usually I just have to push really really hard and once I can get in, start going in and out a bit and it loosens up a treat. Then after that I can take it out and put it back in with no problem at all. Am I making her nervous perhaps putting too much pressure on her? I don't think we need to have more foreplay because she is literally dripping wet.
We are both relatively new to sex, and she likes it when I talk about it with her (specifically what I want to do to her). She thinks that its all I think about when I'm with her (partially true, really). I tell her that I don't care if we have sex I just want to be with her but I don't think she believes me. She never tells me shes not ready and if I ask her she always says yes, but I'm not sure if I believe her. I almost don't want to bring it up again because then its like I'm putting more pressure on her but I know that we'll have this problem again when we start kissing later on..
Any advice? I'm just a horny 19 year old guy that don't know too much about the ladies!
Actually I think he meant her wetness. For which mucus would be the medical/technical term.
Instead of wanting her to TELL you she's ready - wait until SHE'S jumping YOUR bones!
Mmk, well you have two issues here it seems.
First:
How often do you have sex, and for how long have you been having it?
Do you finger her often?
And for the last paragraph, that might require its own thread.
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Although, your girlfriend may become very wet, her mucus may not be adequately distributed around the vaginal opening. If the entrance is dry, getting past it will be difficult and possibly cause irritation or discomfort.
The next thing to do is to take some of her mucus, or better yet, a lubricant product and apply some all over your penis, including the tip and glans.
At nineteen you are indeed horny! :D If you have not already done so, you are about to reach your sexual peak. From here on your sex drive will slowly decrease over the rest of your life.
I also recommend that you read the many articles listed in the Index. Knowledge is empowering. In fact, I suggest your girlfriend do some reading also. Discuss what you have read and learned. Explore and learn together in partnership.
Lastly, one thing she can do is to stretch her vaginal opening over the course of a few days/weeks. She can do this by sitting in a bath tub partially filled with warm water. No soap or bubble bath.
She should insert a finger, tug against the opening, and hold the pressure for a few moments. She should then work her way around the circumference of the opening repeating the process. She should spend five or ten minutes at a time over several days/weeks. This will help relax the opening even if you never are able to insert more than one finger.
I hope this is of help. Got questions?
Try The Program - a sticky post elsewhere on this site. It does work very very well at ensuring all parties are fully aroused while being completely relaxed.
Hey guys thanks for the tips. Last night we tried again and had quite a bit of foreplay, still no luck. I got kind of disheartened and couldn't be fucked trying anymore so we had a nap for about 30 minutes. I got a second wind and started playing with her clit which she really liked, and by the time I'd finished she was wet everywhere even on the inside of her thighs. It slid in with no problem whatsoever and we fucked for about 30 seconds until I blew my load because I was exhausted, selfish and lazy haha.
Also to answer your question dancingdoc (ive read a few of your posts by the way very helpful stuff) we hadn't had sex for about 2 weeks because I went on an overseas holiday. We usually have sex 2 or 3 times a week though.
Incidentally I'm kind of angry about this situation because I thought that it was normal to have to push really really hard to enter the vagina and I would always lose my erection. It drove me absolutely to the brink of insanity for about 4 months until I couldn't get hard anymore because I was so frustrated. Its nice that everything seems to be working now, really it is an amazing relief. I wish my first sexual experiences were better and not tainted with so much emotional TORTURE but its nice to have (seemingly) gotten through all of that. Looking forward to what is to come.
You know, all of this is NORMAL.
Guy - you really don't have a problem. She doesn't really have a problem.
Unless you're spending 20 minutes at least on foreplay, you're not putting enough time into foreplay. (Yes, they have done research on this.)
KY RULES! Try it out. Its great to have there in an emergency, or just for fun.
One thing that I've recently discovered is that if it's soft at all, we seem to have a little bit of trouble getting it to go in straight--its almost like it wants to catch on the edge of the opening. A little 'oral lube' if you will, works like a charm though :)
And drop the anger. All anger and frustration will accomplish is to make the situation worse, because it will get in your brain, and it will get in her brain, and you'll both be self-conscious and won't be able to relax and get into it.
Yeah mate I'm gonna pick up some KY for sure.
On another note, I have a question about erections:
Is it normal to be kissing a girl for a couple of minutes, and only have a semi-erection? I'm 19 and I feel like it should be rock hard all the time. She usually wants to give me a blowjob when this happens but I'm too worried that if she does and I don't get fully hard I will humiliate her more. Am I just worrying too much?
I had this problem and I just needed to exercise. I had a good cycling session that made me tired and next day I was getting fully hard no problem
Yes you're worrying too much. Which will only serve to perpetuate any perceived problem you don't have.
I don't think she is being honest either...Not on purpose though!
When I was just beginning to have sex I also did that ," Yes I am ready," even though I really wasn't. Maybe she is just getting used to the new feelings and sensations and doesn't really know when she is or isn't ready to begin the intercourse.
I suggest that instead of you asking her if she is ready you just WAIT until she tells you she is ready without you saying anything about it. By the way, my boyfriend thinks the same thing but I can tell you that just because a girl is really wet doesn't mean she wants to start intercourse, it just means she's really aroused! Now I can't speak for ever girl or woman but that's how it is for me.
I would also like to add that my boyfriend is 18 and we currently are having a problem as well but with taking our time. Maybe what seems like a long time really isn't.
And try propping her butt up by putting a pillow underneath the small of her back and moving to the edge of the bed, with you on your knees on the ground and with her legs hanging off the edge. That should help getting it in and the extreme tightness will go away, you just have to give it awhile.
Sesshylove
[QUOTE=seil;242126]I had this problem and I just needed to exercise. I had a good cycling session that made me tired and next day I was getting fully hard no problem[/QUOTE]
Having experienced the same myself i would have to agree with this, exercise is very important. However, the it's also important to realise is that sex is not as big a deal as many people make it into, and there are no rules about how it should be done. So what if you're not compleatly hard when she starts giving you a blow job? you will be soon! As long as you arn't too busy worrying about it.
[QUOTE=dancingdoc2;241392]The next thing to do is to take some of her mucus, or better yet, a lubricant product and apply some all over your penis, including the tip and glans.[/QUOTE]
MUCUS?!?!?! God I hope you meant saliva...
when i'm frustrated i meditate seriously, then again i am a Buddhist so its my normal practice, but just the calm with out the storm is wonderful, you don't need a lot, just somewhere quiet to sit and breathe deeply and calm down and it helps, it really does.
Just because she's dripping wet, it doesn't mean her vagina is properly "ready" for penetration. The opening expands with arousal. I suggest you finger her more, get her nice and loose in other words (but with your fingers, then your penis).
Also, even try different positions. In certain positions the entry expands more.
*sigh* Just do The Program and you should have no problems.
Wait till she screams at you, "Put it in, put it inside me NOW! PLEASE!" Then you know she's ready...
Mikkiji is right. If you have troubles with getting to sex, tease her until she's screaming at you. Then she'll stretch very easily. It won't hurt, either. Which is always a bonus.
No, not correct. With normal women who have no difficulty accepting a penis, that may work. For one who is having difficulty, this will not help. During arousal, the muscles becomes very tense and will make it more difficult. Right after orgasm is the time of greatest relaxation of the muscles involved.