My girlfriend and I have been together for about 6 months and I just can't get her to orgasm. There have been a few times where I've been fingering her/eating her out where she'll try to make me stop every two seconds giving the reason that she doesn't like being out of control and she doesn't know what's going on. She says she gets all hot and her leg will always shake, and sometimes even after she'll get somewhat more emotional than usual. She's never had an orgasm and refuses to do anything to herself, so my question is, Is she close?
I probably didn't provide enough information so ask any questions that you may have.
My only comment is that when my legs start shaking, I'm close to having an orgasm...
That's actually a pretty healthy attitude!
Particularly if you both share it.
I haven't taken a poll but it seems like many (most?) women don't particularly like being asked "Did you cum?" LOL (Might make an interesting poll on the board! LOL)
At the same time, I see nothing wrong with probing how things are... is she comfortable... is she satisfied with your relationship, including the, um sex...? You know her, so you'll find the way and the words... sometimes humor works!
Just remember that you are on a journey together and you'll be fine!
I've never specifically said, "Oh did you just have one?" or anything to that effect. I know that if you get them thinking about it that it puts pressure on them and would be much less likely to happen.
And no, we're not having sex, and both enjoying everything, so I guess this doesn't really matter and we can let what happens happens.
I'd venture that the answer is in the original post where you report she's afraid of losing control.
I'm guessing that you are not having intercourse since you haven't mentioned it.
She might (rightly) be afraid of increasing the intensity to the point were she loses control (it's not necessarily that she doesn't trust you) and you both end up having intercourse.
Beyond that (or if that's not the case), my suggestion is you both back off the orgasm quest and give yourselves some time. Learning each other's bodies and responses doesn't happen overnight. Since you seem to have good dialog and communication, keep doing what you're doing... as long as you both are satisfied with your experiences there isn't a problem.
I notice that you mention twice "she won't do anything to herself." While I think many women would agree that masturbation (alone, not in front of or with a partner) can help a woman learn to orgasm; it is not a requirement.
One of your objectives together needs to be comfort and trust. You will not make her comfortable if you expect her to "do things" she's not ready to do.
Well that is probably the problem
You can RARELY have an orgasm from someone else if you dont explore your own body. She needs to figure out what is right for her, she is the only one that really can figure it out effectively.
-mariah
She's not nervous at all, and she does let me know what does and doesn't feel good, but she won't do anything to herself.
okies. is she nervous? that has a really big effect on orgasms. also, does she explore her own body and feel what she likes? have you talked about ways that she likes it or doesnt like it?
-mariah
Both 17, no partners on either side. I've done stuff before and gotten girls to orgasm but she has never done anything with another guy, and we talk about it a lot and she doesn't know why any of it happens that way.
Also I'm not blaming myself, I'm just curious as to what's going on, with past girls we haven't really talked about what it's like and it has been pretty simple to get them to orgasm.
Hi!
Ok, the routine question: How old are you both?
Also, how many sexual partners have you both had? Are you two able to communicate about this?
If she is the one stopping you and refusing to help in any way, then you shouldnt be blaming this on yourself.
-mariah